Curious
Times
September 4, 2008 www.CuriousTimes.com

DON’T
DO DRUGS -- UNLESS YOU’RE SOME KIND OF GENIUS OR SOMETHING
Let’s kick things off this week with the “rationalizing
the use of illicit drugs” portion of this column, thanks to an
article at Cracked.com
called “The 5 Greatest Things Ever Accomplished While High.”
Counting down from number five, Nobel Prize winning geneticist Francis
Crick discovers the secrets of DNA while tripping on LSD; Sigmund Freud
creates the world’s most famous form of psychoanalysis based on
what he learned during his love affair with cocaine; pharmacist (and
cokehead) John Pemberton invents the world’s most popular soft
drink, Coca-Cola; baseball pitcher Dock Ellis pitches a rare no-hitter
while peaking on acid; and Moses transcribes God’s 10 Commandments
after eating some magic mushrooms. Admittedly that last one might not
be historically accurate, but there is much evidence that the ancient
Israelites regularly used two different types of psychoactive plants
in their religious ceremonies, so it can’t be completely ruled
out.
BALLING FOR DOLLARS
The Russian village of Ulyanovsk is preparing for its fourth annual
Day of Conception, a day on which couples can get a half-day off work
in order to go home and make babies. Then, nine months later, any couple
which gives birth on Russia’s national day, June 12, will receive
a variety of prizes for their patriotism. The contest was born four
years ago in response to Russia’s falling birthrate and so far
seems to have been successful with a 4.5 percent increase this year
over last, and many more June babies being born each year. Couples who
manage to hit the jackpot by pumping out a newborn on the magic day
of June 12 stand a chance to win a variety of prizes including TVs,
video cameras, refrigerators, washing machines and the grand prize of
a brand new SUV. As well, women who give birth to a second or subsequent
child also receive certificates worth $10,000. (Fox
News)
TIME TO CASH IN ON YOUR BULIMIA
Perhaps you've given up on most of your childhood dreams, but there's
still a chance for some fame and glory by eating like a pig in extreme
eating competitions worldwide. Surprisingly, there is actually an International
Federation of Competitive Eating which organizes a circuit of events
for extreme eaters. From the matzo ball eating championship in New York
City each January, to the fish eating competition in Scotland each December,
the IFOCE has something for everyone. Check out the website at Ifoce.com
for the complete listing of events, and a cool list of extreme eating
world records, including beef tongue (over three pounds in 12 minutes),
butter (seven sticks in five minutes), cow brains (57 in 15 minutes)
and mayonnaise (four 32-ounce bowls in eight minutes.)
THE MOTHER OF ALL HOT DOGS
But
what if you can’t afford all that food in order to practice extreme
eating? Well, you can start by heading way down south where you can
get yourself a free 15-inch, 3.5-pound hot dog at HillBilly HotDogs
in West Virginia. The major catch is that you have to down this beast
in under four minutes or it will set you back $14.99 (and take about
three years off you life). Bon appetit! (AlDenteBlog.com)
ROSES ARE RED / VIOLETS ARE BLUE / I’M GONNA DIE / EARLIER
THAN YOU
A study published in the Journal of Death Studies has found that poets
generally die younger than playwrights, novelists and non-fiction writers.
California State University researcher James Kaufman studied the deaths
of 1,987 American, Chinese and Turkish writers from the past few centuries.
"On average, poets lived 62 years, playwrights 63 years, novelists
66 years and non-fiction writers lived 68 years," said Kaufman,
who also discovered that female poets were not only more likely to die
earlier, but were also most prone to suffering from mental illness resulting
in hospitalization, suicide, or attempted suicide, than any other writers.
(Extramsn.co.nz)
AT LEAST YOU’LL HAVE A WRINKLE-FREE CORPSE
Before you head off for your next Botox injection you might want to
know this little tidbit of information: Botulinum Toxin (bo + tox =
botox) is one of the most poisonous naturally occurring substances on
Earth (one microgram is lethal to humans) and eating food contaminated
with it will put you in the hospital and might very well kill you. So
yeah, go ahead and inject it in your face. (Listverse.com)
HOW
TO MAKE A ZOMBIE
The internet is such a great source of information for any of your hare-brained
schemes. For example, the next time you want to create your own zombie
(apparently you can make good cash by selling them into slavery) just
type "how to make a zombie" into your search engine for various
recipes. Here?s a simple one I found: one freshly, almost dead, person;
some human bone and flesh;several varieties of exotic plants; a few
reptiles; one type of worm; a centipede; a special type of spider; a
puffer fish (for the most important ingredient: a powerful toxin called
tetrodotoxin.) Good luck!
I-READ-IT-ON-THE-INTERNET-SO-IT-MUST-BE-TRUE FACT OF THE WEEK
Students whose names begin with the letter ‘A’ or ‘B’
usually get better grades than students whose names begin with the letters
‘C’ or ‘D’.
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