July 5, 2001
LESS FODDER FOR MY COLUMN
Police and psychologists in New Delhi have
closed the case on the epidemic of "Monkey Man" attacks reported
throughout that city last month. The investigation concluded that the
"Monkey Man", who was held responsible for hundreds of injuries and at
least three deaths, was a product of the city's "collective
imagination." After detailed physical and psychological examinations of
the victims of the attacks, experts stated that the half man-half beast
was "mere figment of the imagination of emotionally weak people." The
report also concluded that "sensational media coverage" blew the events
out of proportion which encouraged people to report bizarre accounts of
the creature even though no one had ever seen it. (Times of
India/Hindustan Times)
MORE MONKEY TROUBLE
A sex-crazed monkey in Kundasale, Sri Lanka is
making life difficult for the local female residents. After stealing
chocolate from local shops, the monkey begins stalking girls, then
jumps on them and clinging to them until he is chased away with sticks
and stones. The newspaper report went on to observe that the monkey has
been "flirting outrageously" with dogs and cats. (Reuters)
FUN AND EDUCATIONAL GAMES FOR ANARCHISTS OF ALL AGES
A new video game
called State of Emergency lets you relive Seattle's 1999 anti-WTO riots
in the comfort of your own living room. The game pits "anti-corporate
hooligans" against the oppressive "American Trade Organization" and
includes the opportunity to use pipes, bricks, benches and dismembered
body parts to battle the tear-gas, rubber-bullet armed riot police. The
object of the game seems to be to keep the riot going as long as
possible while looting storefronts for fun and profit.
(www.rockstargames.com)
NEXT TIME, GET PAYMENT UP FRONT
The Yakama Indian Nation of Washington
state has sent a bill for $32,000 to the Bonneville Power
Administration after their "traditional ritual rain-making ceremonies"
helped to break a persistent drought in that region this spring.
Despite the fact of increased rainfall, Bonneville is refusing to pay
the bill. (Energy Online Daily News)
JUST SAY OM
Followers of the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi have approached
the South American country of Suriname with a plan to lease a 3,500
hectare plot of land on which the group would like to establish a
sovereign state with its own currency, central bank and jurisdiction.
The state, which is to be called a "Global Country of World Peace,"
will focus mainly on growing and exporting organic food, and is
offering Suriname 1% of it's annual profits in return for the land.
(AP)
TELL US SOMETHING WE DON'T ALREADY KNOW
A study published in the
Journal of Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrics came up with the
stunning conclusion that cutting down on the amount of TV a child
watches also decreases the amount of toys the child asks for. The
research suggests, they say, that the fewer commercials a child sees,
the less materialistic he or she will become. Good to see eight years
of university wasn't wasted on these brilliant scientists. (Reuters)
DON'T JUST READ ABOUT IT, DO IT, DO IT, DO IT
Trying to break out of a
monotonous routine? Check out www.greenerypress.com for all sorts of
nasty books for those of you who want to try something slightly
different. I don't know if these books are any good, but they've got
some great titles, including Turning Pro: A Guide to Sex Work for the
Ambitious and the Intrigued; Look Into My Eyes: How To Use Hypnosis To
Bring Out the Best In Your Sex Life; Family Jewels: A Guide to Male
Genital Play and Torment; The Sexually Dominant Woman: A Workbook for
Nervous Beginners; A Hand in the Bush: The Fine Art of Vaginal
Fisting, and of course, The Bottoming Book: Or, How To Get Terrible
Things Done To You By Wonderful People. Read it and weep, I guess.
KIND OF MAKES YOU WANT TO LOSE YOUR JOB
Workers who will be laid off
when the Guinness beer packaging plant in Dundalk, Ireland is closed in
July will be receiving a severance package that includes payments of up
to $147,000, health insurance, scholarships for their children, and,
for the Homer Simpson inside every beer-factory worker, an allowance of
up to 10 years' free supply of beer. (AP)
ANOTHER DUMB HOLIDAY
Don't forget to celebrate National Blonde Day,
July 9th, brought to you by the Blonde Legal Defense Fund, whose aim is
to "stop the widespread belief that blondes are dumb and incapable."
Yeah, right... Surprisingly, every word in their press release is spelled
correctly. (www.nationalblondeday.com)
THOROUGHLY USELESS FACTOID OF THE WEEK
A survey conducted by
Screenvision Cinema Promotions found that people who eat popcorn at
movies are three times more likely to cry during the film than
non-popcorn eaters.
BUT HE'S STILL A HACK
Think you're smart 'cause you can drive and talk
on the cell phone at the same time without killing a cyclist? Check out
25-year-old Tapan Dey. He's a street performer in India who writes with
his two hands and his two feet in four different languages at the same
time. "I was inspired when I saw a young boy in Calcutta writing with
both hands. I thought I could do better," he says. Hey, don't set your
sights too high. (Reuters)
FROM THE "COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS" DEPARTMENT
The United Nations released
a report last week that states that there are now fully one billion
humans living in slums or squatter communities worldwide. (AP)
Go to:
FREE EMAIL SUBSCRIPTION TO CURIOUS TIMES
BACK TO TOP
CURIOUS LINKS
Copyright 2001 by Andreas Ohrt
(604) 603-4699
Email:aohrt@hotmail.com
Website:www.curioustimes.com