May 10, 2001

SELL YOUR TELEVISION BEFORE IT MELTS YOUR BRAIN

So, did TV Turnoff Week change your life? Yeah, right. Well, Wes Moore has a better idea: TV Pawn-off Week. This week, he says "sell your televisions and use the money to buy some books." Moore has written a superb essay entitled "Television: Opiate of the Masses," in which he has gathered some of the major neurological evidence from the past two decades which concludes that television is an addictive opiate which produces "almost comatose" rates of activity in the brain, making it "one of the most potent mind control devices ever produced." When watching television, for example, the right hemisphere of the brain is nearly twice as active as the left, an anomaly which releases a surge of endorphins into the brain. As with any endorphin-releasing activity, television viewing then creates a dependency just as any drug would. As well, the right brain treats incoming data uncritically, and does not organize or analyze what is being presented, which is what makes emotionally-charged commercials so effective. The cathode ray technology also puts the brain into a trance similar to that reached in light hypnosis, and the higher brain functions are shut off as activity shifts to the lower "reptile" brain. And of course there is much, much more. Basically, the conclusion is that television is an addictive drug which turns the viewer into a mindless zombie. Gee, who woulda guessed? (www.disinfo.org)

USE THE FORCE, LUKE

Two e-mail campaigns have been launched in New Zealand that seek to add new religions to that country's census. The first, which is entitled "You have no idea of the Power of the Dark Side, young Skywalker," is trying to encourage people to tick the "other" box, and for their choice of religion, write in "Jedi." According to the brainiacs behind this cunning plan, if 8000 people in New Zealand do this then "Jedi" will become an officially recognized religion. Along the same lines, another group is asking people to write in "Punani Seeker", punani being West Indian slang for the female genitalia. "The goal is to establish Punani Seeker as one of the top 20 religions in the country," they say. Now, does anyone know if we can pull off a stunt like this up here in the Great White North? (CNN)

OF COURSE THEY DIDN'T COUNT ALL THE DEATHS FROM CHOKING ON DORITOS

The people from changetheclimate.org , a website devoted to educating and dispelling the myths surrounding marijuana use, have come up with an effective ad campaign that has caused a stir in Washington, D.C. The 6 foot by 4 foot bus shelter ad has only one message: "America 1992 to 1999. 3.2 million tobacco deaths. 1.4 million alcohol deaths. 0 marijuana deaths." And there you have it.

WOULD YOU LIKE FRIES WITH THAT?

Meanwhile, in Venlo, Netherlands, authorities, are making plans to open two drive-thru "drug stops," where tourists can pick up some marijuana and hashish. The town is trying to make it easier for German tourists to pick up their drugs near the border, rather than having them spend time in the town, where they tend to attract dealers who sell harder drugs. (AP)

THANK GOD THERE ARE NO ELEPHANT SOCCER MATCHES

Rampaging elephants have forced nearly two dozen tribespeople from their homes and into the trees in Orissa, India. Apparently, the elephants are attracted by the smell of handia, the local alcoholic elixir made from fermented rice. Some 60 elephants have been running amok in the area, knocking down mud houses in their quest for the beverage. At least half a dozen people have died in the past 18 months from elephant attacks and 200 houses have been destroyed. (Reuters)

THREE BLIND DOGS, SEE HOW THEY SEE

Researchers at the University of Pennsylvania have succeeded in using gene therapy to restore the vision in three blind dogs. "This is the first success in a large animal with an eye similar in size and anatomy to a human eye," said Dr. Jean Bennett, an assistant professor of ophthalmology. Despite fears of gene therapy being used too quickly and without proper long-term studies, scientists feel that the reversal of blindness is a safe avenue of gene therapy in humans, and hope to start human trials within about two years. (Nature Genetics)

BIG BROTHER ON LINE ONE

Cell phone manufacturers in the United States will be obligated by Federal law to put location-tracking technology in all mobile phones beginning this October. By 2005, 95 per cent of all cell hones must be able to be traced with an accuracy of about 1,000 feet. While the law is ostensibly in place for security and safety issues, privacy advocates have already begun building a legal case against the move, citing the ability of very personal information being sold by telecommunications companies. (Fox News)

IF THE BOOGEYMAN DIDN'T EXIST, WE'D HAVE TO INVENT HIM

The state governments in North East India have begun spreading rumours of evil spirits, ghosts, and curses surrounding ecologically sensitive lands, in order to keep indigenous tribespeople from slashing the forests and slaughtering wildlife for money. Officials have found that scare tactics involving haunted forests. demonic wildlife and mythical monsters have had more effectiveness in keeping people away from endangered areas than any other tactics. (Hindustan Times)

CONGRATULATIONS, MISS JUMBO QUEEN 2001!

25-year-old Soraya Srimitr (centre), winner of Thailandıs Miss Jumbo Queen 2001 competition, was philosophical after winning the crown (and US$667!): "I think they like me for my personality and self-confidence. They can tell that my weight is really the result of my passion for food. I'm really, really, really happy to eat, you know." Yeah, we know...

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