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May 3, 2001


EVERYTHING YOU KNOW IS WRONG




If you still believe what they forced you to memorize and regurgitate in high school, or what you hear each night on the evening news, you desperately need to read You Are Being Lied To, a collection of over 60 essays by underground and mainstream writers from all over the map, who intelligently deconstruct most of the commonly held assumptions of the masses. Brought to us by the brilliant minds behind the Disinformation Company , this book, they say, "synthesizes the strangest, freakiest, and most disturbing news and phenomena in order to balance the homogenized, sanitized and policed fare that is found in the traditional media." The various essays are grouped into subjects such as "The News Media and Other Manipulators," "Politricks," "The Social Fabrication," "Blinded by Science," "Holy Rolling" and much, much more. For a great indication of the kind of thoughts you'll be exposed to, at least read Howard Bloom's fascinating introduction "Reality is a Shared Hallucination." Then try to put this book down.


WHAT A SAD WAY TO GO

87-year-old Leta Gray accidently ran over and killed her husband, 82-year-old Franklin Gray of Shawnee, Oklahoma, after he fell down in their driveway and couldn't get up. After she tried, unsuccessfully, to carry him inside, he asked her to tie a rope to the car and drag him to the house. Unfortunately, she put the car in reverse to get close to him, accidently stepped on the accelerator instead of the brake, and poor Franklin was history. (New York Post)


A PLOT STRAIGHT OUTTA THE X-FILES

A Swedish crypto-zoologist and a British witch are facing off over the Loch Ness monster. Jan Sundberg arrived at Loch Ness last week with his Global Underwater Research Team and a seven metre by five metre long trap with the intention of catching the legendary "Nessie". In response, Kevin Carlyon, the High Priest of British White Witches, has cast a spell to protect the Loch Ness Monster, and to bring "harmless bad luck" to the Swedish scientist, who has threatened to throw the witch in the lake if he gets in the way. The only happy campers in this scene are the Highlands tourism ministry, who admit "you couldn't buy publicity like this!" (The Herald)



YES, I HAVE A GOOD REASON TO SELL MY GIRLFRIEND INTO PROSTITUTION

German pop star Christian Anders has rented out his girlfriend, Jenna Kartes, for one year for the sum of US$231,000 in order to pay for his liver transplant. "I was shocked to hear about this offer," said Jenna, who was not informed of the arrangement, but said she would happily sleep with Christian's benefactor in order to pay for the operation. No mention was made as to why the third party, 34-year-old Michael Leicher, wanted to pay over $600 a night to have sex with the same woman for an entire year. (AP)



ONE LAST PILGRIMAGE BEFORE THE END OF THE WORLD

I'll bet you haven't been on a pilgrimage in quite some time. Am I right or what? Well, here's your chance to check off one more thing on your "Do these things before I die" list. Make your way to Portugal for the May 13 pilgimage to Fatima, the town where three young peasant shepherds went into trance and had the three "Secrets of Fatima" revealed to them by a "lady brighter than the sun." It was May 13, 1917, when the spookiness surrounding these girls ended with the "Miracle of the Sun," where 70,000 people watched the sun dance in the sky! I saw filmed footage of this bizarre miracle and these girls in some whacked-out trance when I was about 10-years-old, and haven't been quite the same since... Plus, there's a wicked-cool conspiratoral angle to this story too, as the third secret has been covered up by the Vatican for over 70 years, as it (according to reliable sources) tells in great detail how in the end times, Satan will infiltrate the Vatican, possess the Pope, and bring great horrific calamity to our planet in one final blaze of glory! Oh, and have a nice day.


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Copyright 2001 by Andreas Ohrt (604) 608-6909
Email:aohrt@hotmail.com
Website:www.curioustimes.com