March 29, 2001

DO A WHOPPER OF A CONSPIRACY

The far-too-brilliant-for-his-own-good Dr. Leonard Horowitz, author of the blood-chilling Emerging Viruses, has revealed research that links the current plague of foot and mouth disease, mad cow disease, the recent E. coli contaminations scares, and the 1997 chicken influenza outbreak in Asia in a conspiracy that concludes that all of these events are the result of, what he calls, an "industrial espionage operation." The world's largest meat supplier, Tyson Foods Corporation, is, apparently, directly linked in all of the recent food scare outbreaks, and has, in each case, used links to the CIA's bioterrorism program to spread diseases in its competitors livestock in order to gain a stranglehold on the global meat industry. Why wouldn't it surprise me if this were true? Am I jaded or what? Check out the research at www.tetrahedron.org.

THOSE DAMN MAD COWS ARE EVERYWHERE

If you've been avoiding red meat recently in order to avoid mad cow disease, think again. The Sightings website has posted a list of over 300 products that are made from cattle, sheep and hog products that hold the potential of caring CJD prions. As well as an alarming array of everyday medical products, health care products and industrial consumer products, the list also includes dozens of everyday foods including butter, cheese, cream, ice cream, sherbet, fats, yogurt, chewing gum, lard, shortening, cake mixes, deep-fry batters, gravy mixes, pasta, refined sugar, marshmallows, mayonnaise, and on and on. Check it out at http://www.rense.com/general6/cow.htm.

MAYBE GOD IS A RIGHTEOUS NUT!

Well that's nice. Now Afghanistan's psychotic Taliban government is claiming that destroying those huge Buddha statues has caused the widespread rains that seem to have broken a four-year-old drought in that nation. Good grief, as if those psychos needed any more encouragement. (Ananova)

A MARINE BIOLOGIST'S CHOICE ASSIGNMENT

Okay, help me out on this one. Swedish scientists have announced that female brown trout regularly fake orgasms. Say huh? So how do you tell when a fish is faking? Jeez... The report states that after watching 117 pairs of trout "couple" (that means have sex) in an aquarium, female trout "deceived" males on 69 occasions. (69? Do you smell a fake news item here?) The scientists concluded that the fish faked orgasms as an insurance policy against male infertility, as the more orgasms she faked, the more males would have deposited sperm when she finally released her eggs. That's a dumb conclusion, because she'll have just as many guys all over her if she doesn't bother to fake orgasms. (UPI)

YET ANOTHER SIGN THAT THE END IS NEAR, HO-HUM

Two teenage girls in Spain have been sentenced to eight years in youth custody after admitting to killing their 16-year-old friend in order to experience the "thrills of murder and fame" that being killers would bring. (The Guardian)

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