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January 11, 2001


WILY SLIME

Scientists at the Bio-Mimetic Control Research Centre in Nagoya, Japan, have discovered that a slime mould can negotiate a path through a maze in order to find the shortest route to its meal. The single-celled organism Physarum polycephalum was able to ooze itself between two meals and take short cuts to find food. "This remarkable process of cellular computation implies that cellular materials can show a primitive intelligence," commented Toshiyuki Makagaki. What he meant to say was, "Woah, fungus can think! I'm trippin' out!" (Nature)


WAY TO UPSELL!

Akira Ishiguro, a shopowner in Yokohama, Japan, was so fed up with customers who tried on his clothes with no intention of buying anything, he put up a sign reading "Entry strictly prohibited to shoplifters, browsers, and teasers." After most shoppers ignored the warning, he lost his temper one day, and forced a 26-year-old woman to get down on her knees and apologize for trying on a coat. "Didn't you see the sign outside? Do you take me for a fool?" he screamed, then forced her to give him $27 as a down payment for the coat. (Asahi Shimbun News)


SADLY, BUSINESS IS BRISK IN THE LIVE HUMAN ORGAN TRADE

An article by Leonardo Calcagno in uPhoria magazine paints a disturbing picture of the black market trade in live human organs around the world. According to the unnamed donor bank employee interviewed in this article, the human body is worth about $35,000, and the skeleton can be sold for $200 a gram. Corporations such as Osteotech and Cryolife Inc. contribute to a multi-billion dollar industry by, for example, buying hearts from India for $150 and selling them for $5000. The most horrifying news is that healthy children who are brought to doctors in "third world" countries are often unnecessarily operated on so that the doctor can sell their organs or eyes (a pair of human corneas sell for US$3000) to these corporations.


POLLY WANTS A 1-900 NUMBER

Dr. Rupert Sheldrake, author of Dogs That Know When their Owners Are Coming Home - And Other Unexplained Powers of Animals, is currently studying a psychic parrot in New York named N'Kisi. According to Sheldrake, N'Kisi's owner, Aimee Morgana, can sit in one room looking at images, and the parrot can name them using words from its 555-word vocabulary. Apparently, the parrot correctly named the images 32 out of 70 times. "You'd only expect 5.2 hits like this to occur by chance," said Sheldrake, "this is staggering." He has also studied psychic cats, chickens and ferrets, and has videotaped over 100 experiments with an especially psychic dog named Jaytee. (USA Today)


MORE STRANGE ANIMAL BEHAVIOUR

Authorities in India are baffled by the behaviour of a wild elephant who has bathed and stood guard over the corpse of a man it trampled to death over two weeks ago. Villagers are demanding that forest rangers "rescue the corpse" so that it can be given a proper cremation, but the elephant is refusing to give up the body. "We think the elephant might be feeling some remorse for having killed the villager," speculated one ranger. (AFP)


SUCCESSFUL TOXIN FARMING

A study carried out by Dr. Michael Easton of the David Suzuki Foundation has revealed that farmed salmon can contain up to ten times the amount of pesticides and chemicals that is usually found in wild salmon. Researchers believe that the food pellets fed to farmed salmon contain more concentrated doses of toxins than would be found in the salmons' natural diet. Toxins discovered in farmed fish include PCBs, which can attack the nervous system and suppress the body's immune system. (BBC)


SURVEY SAYS!

According to surveys compiled by The Oregonian, 21 per cent of Americans report being "regularly bored out of my mind"; 8 per cent of Americans would let a reality-based TV show film them having sex; 19 per cent of men wouldn't mind being stupid if they had a perfect body; and, according to the Weekly World News, 33 per cent of prayers are "intercepted or jammed" by Satan.


HOW ROMANTIC

A 41-year-old woman in Germany, on trial for shoplifting, told the judge that she was doing it for the sexual kick. "I have an orgasm whenever a department store detective discovers me stealing and grabs my shoulder from behind," she said. (AP)


RHINO BODYGUARDS

An international team of conservationists has drawn up a plan to give each of the last 15 Western black rhinoceros' in Cameroon its own armed guard, in order to guarantee them 24-hour protection from poachers until the rhino population begins to recover. (Environment News Service)



www.i'mdeadnow.com

A Swedish funeral parlour is planning on offering online funerals as soon as the transmission of video over the internet is up to an acceptable standard. "It's a fine way for a person who cannot personally attend to show his respect," said manager Ib Ahlen. (Reuters)


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Copyright 2000 by Andreas Ohrt (604) 608-6909
Email:aohrt@hotmail.com
Website:www.curioustimes.com