January 4, 2001
A NEW YEAR'S DIET THAT WILL REALLY WORK
Hira Ratan Manek, a
64-year old Indian man claims to have gone for the last 365 days
without eating a single morsel of food. Unbelievably, this may
actually be a legitimate claim, as doctors from the Health Care
International Multitherapy Institute and the Jain Doctors
Association in India have been monitoring his health since his fast
started. Manek claims that the human body can live on the solar
energy directly from our sun, if you train your body to absorb that
energy in order to recharge your brain each day. The program
begins, he says, by looking straight into the rising morning sun
for a few seconds. Each day you gradually increase the time you
stare into the sun, until you can handle 30 minutes each morning.
After you can handle 15 minutes, your desire for food diminishes,
and when you get to the 30 minute mark, you body will get all the
energy it needs directly from the sun. "If you do it gradually,
your eyes will not be damaged and will help in charging your brain
with solar energy," he claims. (Times of India)
LET THE PUNISHMENT FIT THE CRIME
A 72-year-old South African
retired doctor has invented a "killer tampon" that will chop off
the head of a man's penis if he tries to rape a woman wearing the
device. Also known as the "tampon timebomb," the hard plastic tube
contains a spring-loaded blade which will do the nasty damage
should penetration occur. Inventor Jaap Haumann says "with this
device I believe would-be rapists would think twice before
attacking a woman." (Sightings)
DON'T CHANGE YOUR HAIR COLOUR, YOUR CAT MIGHT RUN AWAY
A couple
from Montreal swear up and down that a pet psychic is responsible
for bringing back their beloved cat Taiway. The cat had been
missing for months when, as a last resort, they contacted Sonia
Fitzpatrick, who communicates psychically with animals. Apparently,
the cat didn't like her owner's new hair colour, didn't like her
new feeding bowls, missed the old bedspread she used to sleep on,
and wondered what happened to her blue ball. A few days after
"chatting" with Sonia, Taiway returned home. You too can find your
missing pet for US$150 at www.petvoice.com. (Montreal Gazette)
I SEE HEALTH, HAPPINESS AND A BRICK IN THE HEAD
And then there are
the psychics who aren't quite as successful. Angel Destiny, a
psychic in Great Britain, had to flee her house in her pyjamas when
her house collapsed. "I just didn't see it coming," she admitted.
(South Wales Echo)
FREE BRAIN WASHING!
Here's the strangest "ad" I've seen on the net
in a while: "Psychic Janitors is the only cleaning service that
scours the toxic wastes from your brain via first-class telepathy.
As a special introductory offer, Psychic Janitors will clean out a
childhood trauma and the residue from an ill-fated love affair
absolutely free of charge. To receive this offer, merely beam your
request to our telepathic operators between midnight and 2 a.m.
P.S.T. any Sunday morning." Will somebody please try this and let
me know how it works? They promise they are "the only brainwashers
who don't leave a mess bigger than the one they found!"
SAY IT AIN'T TRUE
You just never know what is true anymore. I had
written off the "mother-microwaves-baby" story as an urban myth,
but, lo and behold, this one is true. 20-year-old Elizabeth Renee
Otte, of Virginia, was sentenced to five years in prison last week
for the death of her newborn son in 1999. The child died from
"thermal injuries" after being left in a microwave for ten minutes.
(Washington Post)
STALKING SASQUATCH
The Bigfoot Field Researchers' Organization is
looking for cash backing for its plan to install motion-triggered
digital video cameras, webcams and microphones in remote locations
where previous Bigfoot sightings have been reported, so that people
can view these areas 24 hours a day and hopefully catch a Bigfoot
sighting on video. (ananova.com)
MODERN SLAVERY
The American Anti-Slavery Group estimates that
there are still 27 million people living as slaves in the modern
world. While countries like Mauritania and Sudan continue blatant
slave buying, selling and trading, even America has an estimated
population of one million slaves, as illegal immigrants are
brought into the country and are forced to work or threatened with
imprisonment if turned over to authorities. (Newsweek)
THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON DRUGS
A teenager in Belfort, France, was
charged with possessing cannibas after he bought five grams on the
street, then decided to go into the local supermarket to weigh his
purchase on their scales, to see if he had been ripped off. The
store manager noticed the peculiar herb and phoned the police.
(AFP)
WE NEED A PHONE THAT DETECTS SCAM ARTISTS
A Turkish shop owner is
selling what he claims is a lie-detecting telephone. The phone
supposedly includes an electronic device that can detect changes in
voice frequency that point to a person telling a lie, which then
causes a red light on the phone to flash. The phones are selling
surprisingly well at US$159 each. (Reuters)
DEATH BY CHOCOLATE BAR
A man in Santa Ynex, California, who was
"violently allergic" to peanuts, tried to kill himself by
purposefully eating a Butterfinger. For some reason, paramedics
chose to save him, rather than forcing him to eat a jar of peanut
butter. (AP)
DUELLING CAMELS
Selcuk, Turkey is hosting its annual Camel
Wrestling Championship on January 31, in which mean-spirited
camels are pitted against each other in wrestling matches using
only their heads, necks and legs. Camels fight until one of them
flees the arena or falls on its side. (www.whatsgoingon.com)
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Copyright 2000 by Andreas Ohrt
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