August 10, 2000
THIS IS YOUR PENIS ON DRUGS
A Johannesburg man who injected
himself with Caverjet, a substance used to combat erectile
dysfunction, found that the drug is pretty damn potent if
mixed with body-building steroids, which he was also
injecting. After five days with an erection, he went to the
hospital, where it took a total of 22 days for the
"swelling" to subside. This, apparently, beats the world's
longest stiffy by 17 full days. (Bizarre)
MASTER OF THE OBVIOUS
A mutant strain of an aquarium plant
that was developed by scientists for Germany's Stuttgart
Aquarium has escaped (escaped?) and has now reared its
figurative head near San Diego. Robert Hoffman of the U.S.
Fisheries Service, provided this brilliant analysis when
warning of its spread: "Once it gets out of control, it is
really out of control." Friggin' genius, where'd you send
away for your degree? (Province)
FROM THE CONSISTENTLY TERRIFYING "MESSING WITH MOTHER
NATURE" DEPARTMENT
China is planning to create a huge
network of rain-making bases using radar and cloud-seeding
aircraft in order to bring rain to drought and forest-fire
ravaged areas of the country. Chen Zhiyu, director of the
Weather Modification Division of the State Meteorology
Bureau, claims that the project could increase rainfall by
an average of 20 per cent, but admitted "we cannot change
the weather as we like...success depends on harnessing the
actual weather conditions at the time." (Daily Telegraph)
WHAT KIND OF DOWRY DOES A STRAY DOG GET THESE DAYS, ANYWAY?
Subal Karmaker of India, on the advice of an astrologer, has
married off his four-year-old daughter, Anju, to a stray dog
to ward off evil spirits. The astrologer claimed that the
marriage would transfer the evil effects of the planet
Saturn away from the girl (who had been accident and
illness-prone since birth) to the dog. (Oregon Edge)
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Copyright 2000 by Andreas Ohrt
(604) 803-7485
Email:aohrt@hotmail.com
Website:www.curioustimes.com