No. 479 - November 13, 2008
Just Say No to Drugs, Alcohol, and Marriage

HOW COME THE DUBYA PRESIDENCY ISN’T ON THIS LIST?
Thanks to the site WreckedExotics.com we have a list of the 10 Most Expensive Accidents in History. This list includes the sinking of the Titanic which cost $150 million in today’s dollars; the Exxon Valdez oil spill, which cost $2.5 billion to clean up; and the Space Shuttle Challenger explosion ringing up $5.5 billion in expenses. And the number one most expensive accident in history was the nuclear reactor meltdown in Chernobyl in 1986, which caused an estimated $200 billion for cleanup of the site, the construction of a new steel shelter for the plant, and the resettlement and compensation of hundreds of thousands of victims of the accident.

IT’S OFFICIAL - MARRIAGE KILLS ROMANCE
Never mind the seven-year-itch, it seems that a newly married couple loses that romantic edge precisely two years, six months and 25 days after their wedding day. After this time husbands no longer bother trying to be thoughtful and wives no longer bother trying to look pretty. By the third year of marriage, according this survey of 5000 newlywed couples, 83 percent of couples don’t ever bother to celebrate their anniversary. (Daily Mail)

JUST SAY NO (UNTIL YOUR 15th BIRTHDAY PARTY)
The journal Psychological Science has published some more obvious research, discovering that the younger you are when you start drinking and doing drugs, the more likely you are to have drug and alcohol-related issues as an adult. The study found that children who used alcohol or drugs before the age of 15 were two to three times more likely to develop addictions, contract STDs, drop out of school or become criminals. The research also came to the astounding conclusion that young females who use drugs and alcohol before the age of 15 have higher pregnancy rates than those who don’t. (Yahoo News)

HAPPY DRUNKS
But the news for drunks isn’t all bad. A new study out of Australia found that the happiest demographic of people are those who have a few drinks a day. Those who drink more than three drinks a day don’t do quite as well, but those who never drink at all are the least happy of all. “This is not because we need alcohol to make us happy,” explained one of the researchers, but because people who do not drink are more likely to be isolated from social activities. (Stuff.co.nz)

MY NEW FAVOURITE SEX TOY
A sex expert in Britain claims that chocolate bars which will help give us orgasms could be in stores within the next five years. Dr. Trudy Barber told the European Federation of Sexology that chocolate could be developed which has much higher levels of phenyl ethylamine, a chemical which is released by our bodies during sex. The chemical is related to dopamine and adrenalin, which help to heighten bodily sensations, and has been found to give an orgasm-like high to test subjects even when they were not having sex. Today's chocolate bars already contain up to 660 milligrams of phenyl ethylamine, but Dr. Barber says that much more potent chocolate is in development. (The Sun UK)

THE ANSWER TO LIFE IS 300
Having accomplished his life’s ambition, a man in Michigan who had bowled a perfect game of 300 points for the first time in his life promptly collapsed and died while high-fiving his bowling buddies last week. Don Doane, 45, was rushed to hospital but couldn’t be revived. (AP)

GOD VS. BOOKIES
The British gambling site PaddyPower.com is offering odds of four to one if you are willing to put money down on your faith that there is a God. Odds started at 20-1 when betting started two months ago but a flurry of small bets totalling around $10,000 so far have pushed the odds down to 4-1. The bookmaker stands to lose upwards of $100,000 if proof of the existence of God is ever found, but their money is probably safe for quite some time, as a spokesperson for Paddy Power said that confirmation of God’s existence would have to be verified by scientists and given by an independent authority before any payouts are made. Which is basically another way of saying if you give us your money you’re not getting it back. (The Telegraph)

HOW TO ALIENATE YOUR WIFE BEFORE YOU’RE EVEN MARRIED
While the Japanese continue to create smaller and smaller versions of funky gadgets, there are some things that don’t lend themselves to the smaller is cooler mindset. For example, you aren’t going to impress anyone with the latest offering from Hitachi’s micro-machines division, which has created the world’s smallest diamond ring. The ring itself has a diameter of only 0.02 millimetres and houses a five-billionth of a carat diamond which can only be seen with a microscope. (ABC News)

I-READ-IT-ON-THE-INTERNET-SO-IT-MUST-BE-TRUE FACT OF THE WEEK
Attractive men earn 5% more than average while ugly men earn 9% less.

Click here for older columns...