No. 458 - June 19, 2008
How to Live Forever
(or at least until you're killed by Bigfoot)

YOU COULD LIVE FOREVER AND WE STILL WON’T HAVE MOVING SIDEWALKS
If you’re still pessimistic about the near future check out the books of Dr. Ray Kurzweil, a scientist/inventor/futurist whose predictions about technology have been coming true ever since the beginning of the computer age. Last week he gave a speech at the World Science Festival in New York and predicted that within 10 years we’ll have a drug that allows us to eat anything we want and never gain weight, within five years solar power will be competitive with fossil fuels and within 20 years all of our energy will come from clean sources. Kurzweil also advises you to stick around for at least 15 more years when life expectancy will keep rising every year faster than you are aging, which means you may, in theory, be able to use future technology to live for hundreds of years all the while benefiting from cool news toys which have yet to be invented. (NY Times)

THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS MONSTER REWARDS
Okay kids, time to put on your monster hunting cap and go out there and earn your fortune. A new marketing gimmick from binocular manufacturer Bushnell and Field & Stream magazine is offering a $1 million reward to anyone who can prove the existence of Sasquatch / Bigfoot / Yeti. The reward is up for grabs until Dec. 15 but warns that they will not be liable for any injuries you might suffer during a Bigfoot attack. The official rules ask for “an unaltered photograph/video, verified and substantiated by a panel of scientific experts including a zoologist and biologist." Good luck! (LiveScience.com)

THEY ALSO DISCOVERED THAT SLEEPY PEOPLE ARE SLEEPIER THAN PEOPLE WHO AREN’T SLEEPY
Special thanks to the genius minds at the American Academy of Sleep Medicine who recently completed research which concluded that taking a midday nap is a good way to beat afternoon sleepiness. You don’t say? The researchers also concluded that caffeine can also help shake off those afternoon cobwebs and might be an easier solution to implement while you’re at work. Thanks guys! (ScienceNews.org)

PUT DOWN THE BEANS AND STEP AWAY FROM THE ESPRESSO MACHINE
But what if you have the opposite problem? What if, instead of feeling sleepy, you’re all jacked up and can’t relax? Well, there’s a new “anti-energy” drink which is being marketed as an “extreme relaxation beverage.” The carbonated beverage called “Drank” is spiked with melatonin, valerian root and rose hips to help you chill out when you can’t find your stash. (Village Voice)

NO MEANS NO TEETH
Here’s one you don’t hear everyday: a 41-year-old woman in Stockholm has been accused of raping a 30-year-old man after she took him home from the pub and, according the the story in the Aftonbladet newspaper, “performed oral sex on him against his will.”

IF YOUR WALLET AND BRAIN ARE EMPTY TOO
The next time you’re about to run out of gas instead of wasting your money at the pump keep track of how far your car will drive after the needle hits the “E.” Then go to TankOnEmpty.com and add your data to the growing body of research which answers the pressing question “How far can you go after the gas light in your car comes on?” Thrills!

YOU CAN’T TAKE IT WITH YOU, AND YOU CAN’T GIVE IT AWAY

Everyone claims they want more money, but if you offer them some they probably won’t take it. This was proven on the streets of London last week where experimenters wandered through the city wearing sandwich boards which offered a free £5 note to anyone who asked. Of the 1800 people who could have claimed the cash, only 28 bothered to do so. (Webitpr.com)

THE ROAD TO NOWHERE
A German nursing home has set up a fake bus stop in front of their building in order to stop Alzheimer’s patients from trying to escape. The Benrath Senior Centre in Dusseldorf came up with the unique idea after too many patients wandered off and had to be found by the police. “Our members are 84 years-old on average,” explained a nursing home worker. “Their short-term memory hardly works at all, but the long-term memory is still active. They know the green and yellow bus sign and remember that waiting there means they will go home.” But not anymore. Now when the seniors have a seat at the bus stop they are rounded up by the staff. “We will approach them and say that the bus is coming later today and invite them in to the home for a coffee... Five minutes later they have completely forgotten they wanted to leave.” (The Telegraph)

TRICKS ARE FOR KIDS
Instead of giving medicine to your children the next time you think they’re faking a sickness, try a new placebo pill designed especially for kids. A mother who was sick of her hypochondriac son whining all the time invented the pill in order to try to fool him into getting well. The Obecalp (placebo spelled backwards) pill is simply a cherry flavoured chewable tablet that looks and tastes like it might be filled with medicine. Get ‘em at PlaceboStore.com.

I-READ-IT-ON-THE-INTERNET-SO-IT-MUST-BE-TRUE FACT OF THE WEEK
The Earth moves over 89 million miles every time you have sex.

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