July 20, 2000

HE PUT THE "HARD" IN HARDCORE

It's not everyday that I can say I've just seen the most twisted punk rock film ever made, but I could last Friday after viewing the Blinding Lights' screening of Hated: GG Allin and the Murder Junkies. The hype was not overblown - GG was a truly dysfunctional psychopath, and he knew it. "If I didn't have my performances," he states matter-of-factly, "I would be a mass murderer." The thing about GG is that he really was sick, and not just trying to shock like so many lame modern rockers. It's gonna be awfully difficult to forget the image of GG, a hulking mess of a man, looking like the meanest biker you've ever met with his shaved head and missing teeth, wearing nothing but cowboy boots and a dog collar, smashing himself in the face with his microphone, slitting up his chest with a razor blade, then jumping off stage to randomly beat up his fans, or grab them by the hair and throw them to the ground, then taking a big dump on the floor, chowing down on his own shit and spewing it out over the audience. The film shows a clip of GG on the Geraldo show, as a visibly disgusted Geraldo asks GG why he urinates and defecates on his fans. GG replies "my body is the rock and roll temple and my flesh, blood and body fluids are a communion to the people." His audience probably didn't catch the spiritual significance of his "art". One fan says "sometimes I'm afraid at his shows, but as long as it's someone else getting beat up or shit on, I just think it's funny." Good point. So, if you find humour in the outrageously offensive, make it your personal mission to see this film. If you're easily disturbed, stay far, far away. In the end, although GG promised to kill himself on stage (and maybe take a few of his fans with him), he died an ignominious death after binging on heroin and alcohol. As his bandmate so eloquently put it "Society has no place for GG, and GG has no place in society."

BUT I WANT TO BE ABDUCTED

Inventor Michael Menkin has created a hat that will prevent aliens from abducting you. Aliens control abductees telepathically, he says, so the leather and carbonised plastic helmet blocks their thoughtwaves, leaving you unaffected by their powers. The "Nazis from outer space," he warns, "are planning to colonize the Earth," so get yours today. (Bizarre)

AND HOW MANY SYRINGES AND USED CONDOMS?

The Center for Marine Conservation throws an annual "International Coastal Cleanup" each year to help clean the world's beaches. Last September, the trash on American beaches alone included 17 refrigerators, 35 shopping carts and a 1953 DeSoto. The number one item of trash, for the 10th year in a row, was cigarette butts. In 1999, approximately 812,000 butts were found, about 20 per cent of the total trash collected. (AP)

WHAT ABOUT THE GUY WAITING FOR THE HEART?

A man at the Memorial Medical Center in Springfield, Illinois, died after his kidney transplant operation had to be halted when surgeons discovered that the organ bank had sent them a heart instead of a kidney. (Chicago Sun-Times)

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Copyright 2000 by Andreas Ohrt (604) 803-7485
Email:aohrt@hotmail.com
Website:www.curioustimes.com