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No.
445 - March 20, 2008
The
7 Deadly Sins Get a Makeover
MY
ONLY SIN IS SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS
The Vatican has created a new list of seven social sins to go along
with the seven deadly sins written up by Pope Gregory I way back
in the sixth century. According to Bishop Gianfranco Girotti, the
new “sins” are meant to add a global perspective to one’s
moral behaviour. “If yesterday sin had a rather individualistic
dimension, today it has a weight, a resonance, that's especially
social, rather than individual," said the monsignor. The new
sins are “bioethical violations” such as birth control,
“morally dubious'' experiments such as stem cell research,
drug abuse, polluting the environment, contributing to widening
divide between rich and poor, excessive wealth, and creating poverty.
In case you forgot, the original seven deadly sins (also known as
our seven favourite hobbies) are pride, envy, gluttony, lust, anger,
greed, and sloth. (Bloomberg.com)
BLINDED BY THE LIGHT
Meanwhile, in Kottayam, India, the Virgin Mary put in an appearance
by blinding at least 48 people who tried to catch a glimpse of her
in the sun. After crowds began to gather in order to stare into
the sun thanks to rumours that you could be blessed with a vision
of the Virgin Mary, a local hospital reported that 48 patients had
been admitted with burned retinas since the sightings began. (UPI)
I
SEE CRUMBS IN YOUR FUTURE
Some strangely obsessive person loved the fortune inside one of
their fortune cookies so much that they actually bought the domain
name TheBestFortuneCookieEver.com
and created a virtual altar for the fortune, which reads “Maybe
You Can Live on the Moon in Next Century.” Meanwhile, if you
want your own fortune you can create your own at ItsUnfortunate.com
and share it with the world. Some of the most popular fortunes created
so far include “Bad luck and misfortune will plague your pathetic
life for all eternity,” “If you can do the robot, you
can sneak into robot dance clubs,” and “You will be ugly
tomorrow.”
 COLD
ENOUGH FOR YA?
Scientists are baffled by the bizarre abilities of a Dutch man who
can withstand freezing temperatures which would kill any normal
person. Wim Hof, also know as “The Iceman,” has broken
every World Record involving extremes of cold, including sitting
in an ice bath for over an hour, swimming 80 metres (262 feet) under
the ice at the North Pole, and running a half-marathon in his bare
feet 100 miles north of the Arctic Circle. Through it all, Hof remains
perfectly comfortable, his body inexplicably immune to frostbite
and hypothermia. Last year Hof made his first attempt to climb Mount
Everest wearing only boots and his shorts, making it all the way
to the 7500 metre mark before bad weather turned him back. “It
was quite easy,” he claims, and plans another attempt later
this year, although he has received criticism for his cavalier attitude
towards the challenge. When asked why he wanted to climb the mountain,
Hof told a reporter: "Edmund Hillary's ascent of Mount Everest
was a testament to human achievement, my climb of Mount Everest
in my shorts will be a monument to the frivolous, decadent nature
of modern society." (ABC
News)
I’M JUST REALLY CONSTIPATED
A strange tale out of Ness City, Kansas, this week involves a 35-year-old
woman who stayed on her boyfriend’s toilet for two years, long
enough for her skin to meld with the seat leaving her body physically
attached to the toilet. After two years of feeding her and asking
her to come out of the bathroom (to which she would invariably reply
“maybe tomorrow”) her boyfriend finally called the police
for some professional help. Police found the clothed woman sitting
on the toilet, her sweat pants down to her mid-thigh, looking "somewhat
disoriented.” “She was not glued. She was not tied. She
was just physically stuck by her body," said an officer who
helped pry the seat from the toilet so that the girl could be taken
to the hospital. No explanation was given as to why the man waited
two years to cal the police. (MercuryNews.com)
CUPID’S EVIL TWIN
A Chinese man has started a service to help break up couples who
are too spineless to end the relationship face-to-face. "If
they break up in person, both parties may become emotional and unreasonable,"
explained the budding entrepreneur. "I can pass along information
clearly, while convincing the party being broken up with to move
on." His service costs 124.70 yuan (around $20) because that
amount sounds like the phrase “let the love die” in Chinese.
(Liaocheng
Evening Post)
 HOW
TO IMPRESS THE CHICKS
We have a new Guinness record for the world’s longest ear hair.
Radhakant Bajpai, 50, of Uttar Pradesh, India, has managed to grow
hair out of his ears to the length of 5.2 inches. “God has
been very kind to me,” he said after officially entering the
record books. (Daily
Times)
SMOKES
VS. TEETH
More bad news for smokers. A 30-year study carried out at Tufts
University in Boston found that chain smokers are twice as likely
to lose their teeth as non-smokers. The research found that smokers
lost an average of 2.9 teeth after 10 years of smoking a pack a
day as compared to non-smokers who lost an average of 1.3 teeth
every 10 years. (Agd.org)
I-READ-IT-ON-THE-INTERNET-SO-IT-MUST-BE-TRUE FACT OF THE WEEK
Sharks kill around 10 people each year, while failing coconuts kill
approximately 150.
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Copyright
2008 by Andreas Ohrt
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