CURIOUS TIMES: Trippy News from a Dysfunctional Planet

GENERATION Y DON’T YOU LOVE ME?
A team of five grumpy old men posing as university psychologists have released the results of a study which found that today’s kids are far more self-centered than previous generations. The official-sounding “Narcissistic Personality Inventory” survey was given to over 16,000 students between the years 1982 and 2006, and asked students to agree or disagree with statements such as “I think I am a special person” and “If I ruled the world, it would be a better place.” (Wouldn’t it?) The study found that almost two-thirds of today’s kids display a higher level of narcissism than the 1982 average. Or maybe the new generation is just better at messing with stupid surveys given to them by psychologists. Last August another youth-bashing study of 300 business owners in Australia revealed that today’s bosses feel that the new generation of workers are “demanding, impatient and spoiled, with poor spelling, poor grammar, poor communication skills and an inability to understand what constitutes appropriate corporate behaviour.” (The Atlantic)

SEXY BEAST

Not too many women have a fetish for hairy men, but those who do are in luck as the hairiest man in the world (as recognized by the Guinness Book of Records in 2002) has joined an internet dating site in order to find a wife. Yu Zhenhuan told reporters that his girlfriend recently dumped him and his parents are concerned that he will never get married. "I feel like King Kong, hideous, but with a soft and tender heart," he told reporters. (Ananova)

GET THESE MOTHERFUCKING COCKROACHES OFF THIS MOTHERFUCKING SATELLITE
Last October we learned of the first animals every born in space, a group of 33 cockroaches which were conceived aboard the Russian Foton-M bio-satellite. At the time the scientists were happy simply to have the cockroaches alive and healthy, but the latest news out of Russia claims that the space cockroaches are even stronger and more difficult to kill than their Earth-bound cousins. "What is more, we have found out that the creatures... run faster than ordinary cockroaches, and are much more energetic and resilient," said researcher Dmitry Atyakshin. (En.Rian.Ru)

TURN OFF THE COMPUTER AND GO WATCH TV
Ohhh, you just missed International Delete Your MySpace Page Day (Jan. 30). But don’t let that stop you...

AS FAR FROM TOP 40 AS YOU CAN POSSIBLY GET
Great news for lovers of weird music. The cool kids over at Ubu.com spent 2007 re-creating their 365 Days Project (originally unleashed on the world in 2003) in which they posted one very strange MP3 for every single day of 2003. The result alternated between the terrific and the terrible with a collection of crazy tunes including everything from Cambodian yodellers to creepy extreme Christians to seriously bad street musicians to poorly executed home recordings and even a taping of a radio program which deciphered the rantings of Satan when you listen to "Stairway to Heaven" backwards. I haven’t yet had a chance to dig through the 2007 cuts, but I suspect plenty of charming prizes await. Turn up your speakers and point your browser to the 365 Days Project at Ubu.com.

SO YOU CAN CALL YOUR OWN AMBULANCE WHEN YOU HAVE YOUR STROKE
Trying to cash in on a billion smokers, a Chinese company has designed a trippy little cell phone that looks exactly like a pack of cigarettes right down to the warning labels on the outside of the pack. Best of all, the phone itself can hold half a pack of cigarettes. Simply slide open the battery cover and pass around the joy on your next smoke break. A luxurious box set sells for about $175 which will get you the phone, a pack of Chonghwa cigarettes and a lighter. Check out the pics at Gearfuse.com.

BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS
While the Chinese combine cellphones and cigarettes, the Japanese have started selling the long-overdue smoke and coffee combo. The new product combines a pack of Marlboro’s with a can of Japan’s leading brand of coffee for that perfect hit of caffeinated nicotine. (Times Online)

WE WANT TO BELIEVE
The latest survey of Americans has found that 82 per cent believe in God, 79 per cent believe in miracles, over 70 per cent believe in heaven and angels, over 60 per cent believe in hell and the devil, 42 per cent believe in the theory of evolution, 39 per cent believe in creationism, and one-third of Americans believe in UFOs, witches, and astrology. (Herald Sun)

DON’T TRUST ANYONE UNDER 3’0”
The Swedes must have read last week’s story about the cab driver who had a guy stowed in his trunk who would steal valuables out of the customer’s luggage during the cab ride. According to the newspaper Expressen, the Swedish version of this scam involves a team of thieves who hide their midget friends inside hockey bags and place them in the cargo hold of buses where they were able to steal the loot while in transit.

I-READ-IT-ON-THE-INTERNET-SO-IT-MUST-BE-TRUE FACT OF THE WEEK
21 per cent of Americans report being bored out of their minds on a regular basis.

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