CURIOUS TIMES: Trippy News from a Dysfunctional Planet

PLEASE DO NOT CONSUMMATE THIS MARRIAGE

Yet again we head over to India for a man-marries-dog story. This time it’s P. Selvakumar, who married a stray dog in a traditional Hindu ceremony in order to ward off the curse which has plagued him since he stoned to death two dogs 15 years ago. "After that my legs and hands got paralyzed and I lost hearing in one ear," he told reporters. After consulting an astrologer he was told that marrying a dog would relieve him of his karmic debt and improve his luck. The dog was dressed in a traditional marriage sari and given a bun to eat after the ceremony. No word on whether Selvakuma kissed the bride. (CNN)

SO THAT’S WHAT THOSE TERRORISTS WERE UP TO
A study carried out by the New York Academy of Medicine has found that more than one in 10 people who kill themselves in Manhattan are “suicide tourists” who travel to New York specifically to end their own lives. The study also found that most suicide tourists choose to end their lives with some drama by taking their lives at famous tourist attractions such as the Empire State Building, Times Square, and the George Washington Bridge (and those World Trade Centers used to be pretty popular). "These places become suicide landmarks,'' said suicide expert Richard Seiden, which "guarantees you a notoriety you may not have had otherwise.” (Agence France-Presse)

PUTTING THE COOL BACK INTO SCHOOL
A British mom who tried to surprise her 16-year-old son by sending a Gorilla-gram to his classroom on his birthday accidentally booked a stripper and gave the kid more than he could handle. The boy’s mother had advised his teacher that a birthday surprise would come to the classroom, but instead of a gorilla, a stripper dressed as a policewoman showed up, put a dog collar on the boy, led him around the class on all fours and whipped him on the ass 16 times. It wasn’t until she pulled out the whipped cream and asked the boy to rub it over her body that the stunned teacher finally asked the stripper to leave. (Daily Mail)

HOW TO GET HIGH
You’re in luck if you’ve been waiting for the price of space tourism to come down to Earth. Virgin Galactic is now taking deposits for a two hour flight into space that will only cost you $200,000. That might still be slightly out-of-reach for the average person, but is a mere fraction of the $25 million paid by the most recent space tourist. The Virgin flight is scheduled for 2010 and already has 200 names on it’s waiting list. (SeattlePI.com)

NO PEAKING
As seen in a public washroom in Korea...

AND YOU THOUGHT TALKING ON THE PHONE WHILE DRIVING WAS DANGEROUS
A Japanese company has created the world’s first portable toilet which is small enough to use inside your car The “Kurumarukum” toilet consists of a cardboard toilet bowl, a water-absorbent sheet and a draw-around curtain which will conceal you from other commuters while you relieve yourself. "The commode will come in handy during major disasters such as earthquakes or when you are caught in a traffic jam," said a company official. (Japan Today)

CRUNCHES ARE FOR SUCKERS
And if you really, really, really must have six-pack abs you can now blow between $4,000 and $7,000 for a surgical procedure know as “abdominal etching.” The technique is a form of liposuction which will suck out the layer of fat that stands between you and your infomercial-grade abdominal muscles. Good luck, chubby! (Wall Street Journal)

IF YOU DON’T HAVE AN FBI FILE YET, YOU WILL AFTER YOU FILE THESE REQUESTS
If you’d like to know what the FBI knows about you there’s a cool website which will generate all the letters you need to send to the government in order to get your hands on their files. Head over to GetMyFBIFile.com and you’ll be ready to rock after just a few simple steps. This site will also allow you to get access to your files from the CIA, NSA, DIA, DSS, USMS, USSS and CID.

CRAP FOR CHRISTMAS
Before you make plans for an office Christmas gift exchange, be advised that a recent survey found that 31 percent of employees admit to tossing out whatever rubbish they were given by their co-workers. The news was even worse for “Secret Santa” programs -- those gifts where chucked in the trash a full 41 percent of the time. (CityNews.ca)

ALMIGHTY IRONY
Two days after Tennessee’s governor led the state in a prayer for rain to end the drought, a storm blew through the state tearing the roof off a Baptist church, injuring at least nine people, and sending three children to the hospital. (Yahoo News)

I-READ-IT-ON-THE-INTERNET-SO-IT-MUST-BE-TRUE FACT OF THE WEEK
People who eat popcorn at movies are three times more likely to cry during the film than non-popcorn eaters.

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