CURIOUS TIMES: Trippy News from a Dysfunctional Planet

THE DUMBEST, UGLIEST, SMELLIEST PEOPLE IN AMERICA
According to a survey carried out by Travel & Leisure magazine, the citizens of Philadelphia are the very ugliest in the United States. Another chart ranked the citizens of Los Angeles as the least intelligent. And if you live in Dallas, you must be one ugly and stupid mofo. Of the 25 cities ranked in these surveys, Dallas came in 22nd on the intelligence scale, and 23rd in the ugly department. Dallas also came in third in last summer’s ranking of America’s sweatiest cities, so they have lots to be proud of.

STICK TO RAPPING, THAT WAY NO ONE WILL UNDERSTAND YOU
Yet again I need to reiterate the first rule of being a criminal mastermind: Don’t write a book describing your crimes! It seems obvious but it happens again and again. This time it’s former gangster Colton Simpson, 41, who was sentenced to 126 years in prison last week thanks in part to his 2005 memoir "Inside the Crips: Life Inside L.A.'s Most Notorious Gang," in which he described many of the crimes he carried out as an angry young man.

HOW TO SERVE HUMANS
An article about future technological advancements in UK’s The Telegraph included a great quote from Paul Saffo of Stanford University, who sees two possibilities for the future of human-robot relations: "There's a good chance that the machines will be smarter than us,” Saffo told the Telegraph. “There are two scenarios. The optimistic one is that these new superhuman machines are very gentle and they treat us like pets. The pessimistic scenario is they're not very gentle and they treat us like food."

AND THE TRAINS WERE ALWAYS ON TIME
A poll carried out in Germany last week found that a quarter of Germans believe that there were some positive aspects to Nazi rule. After a talk show host was fired for stating that the Nazis held a high regard for motherhood and strong families, the magazine Stern decided to ask Germans a leading question which asked if National Socialism also had some good sides, such as “the construction of the highway system, the elimination of unemployment, the low criminality rate (and) the encouragement of the family." To this, 25 percent of Germans responded yes. Predictably, the poll found that older people have a more forgiving view of the Nazis, with 37 percent agreeing that some aspects of Nazi rule were positive.

SWASTIKAS, EH?
Speaking of Nazis, did you know that there is a town in Ontario called Swastika? Named in 1906 after the Swastika Gold Mine, the town was incorporated in 1907 thanks to the prosperity brought by the finds in the mines. During World War II the provincial government tried to change the name of the town to Winston (to honour Winston Churchill) but the town’s resident’s refused, rightly arguing that the town had dibs on the name long before the Nazis rose to power (in case you weren’t aware, the symbol has been used for millennia in many of the world’s religions, most notably as a symbol of good luck and prosperity in Hinduism.) Still on the subject of Swastika Canadiana (who knew there was such a topic?), I found this fantastic photo of a women’s hockey team from Edmonton called The Swastika’s, circa 1916.

THE DEATH OF THE PARTY
More shocking survey results courtesy of Mother & Baby magazine which discovered that having a baby will destroy your social life. No, really? According to the poll of 2000 new mothers, seven out of 10 complained that their social life was either non-existent or a mere fraction of what it had been before the baby arrived. More bad news had a quarter of the new mums claiming that their relationship also went downhill after they gave birth, with five percent having split up, eight percent coming close to separating and 47 per cent arguing more.

MORE LIES YOUR PARENTS TOLD YOU
At last science has tackled your mom’s medical advice that swallowed chewing gum will stay in your body for over seven years (in fact, some of us were warned that swallowed gum sticks to your organs forever.) But thanks to an article in Scientific American all of us gum-swallowers can rest easy. Real doctors promise that while gum is pretty much indigestible, it is still pushed through the digestive track and out your other end just like everything else you ingest. "It probably passes through slower than most foodstuffs, but eventually the normal housekeeping waves in the digestive tract will sort of push it through, and it will come out pretty unmolested,” explained pediatric gastroenterologist David Milov. However, this doesn’t mean that you should be swallowing your gum, as there are a few cases in the medical literature in which “chronic gum swallowers” managed to block their intestines with such a large mass of undigested gum that the blob had to be surgically removed.

START PREPARING NOW FOR NEXT YEAR’S CELEBRATION
OOPS! I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT OCTOBER 22 WAS INTERNATIONAL CAPS LOCK DAY.

I-READ-IT-ON-THE-INTERNET-SO-IT-MUST-BE-TRUE FACT OF THE WEEK
Men are 6 times more likely to be struck by lightning than women.

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