Curious
Times No. 385
January 25, 2007
THE END IS NEARER
The cheery folks who run the “Doomsday Clock” have
moved the hands of the clock forward two minutes and placed humanity
at about five minutes to midnight (with midnight, of course, symbolizing
the end of the world as we know it). The Bulletin of the Atomic
Scientists (BAS) first came up with the fun idea in 1947, and
since that time has moved the hands of the clock back and forth
in response to world events. The last time the clock moved closer
to doomsday was in 2002 after the events of 9/11. This time the
BAS expressed concern over two potential sources of catastrophe:
the increasing dangers from the spread of nuclear weapons and
the potential of increased chaos due to climate change (including
the increased risk of disaster due to the expansion of nuclear
power as an energy source). The closest the clock has ever come
to midnight was following hydrogen bomb tests by the U.S. and
the U.S.S.R. in 1953, when the clock was set to two minutes to
doomsday. (TheBulletin.org)
ANIMALS + VALIUM = DINNER
Experts in the field of genetically-modified animals and bio-engineered
clones have warned that the next step in their science will be
to create “zombie” animals which will be completely
oblivious to the harsh surroundings of the factory farms in which
they are bred. Professor Ben Mephan of Nottingham University,
former member of England’s Agriculture, Environment Biotechnology
Commission, warned that the impact of the new breed of “farmyard
freaks” could be huge, and claimed that GM scientists are
currently trying to develop ways in which to remove the stress
and aggression genes from animals such as cows, pigs and chickens
in order to turn them into “complacent zombies,” which
would be unable to feel the suffering of normal farm animals on
their way to slaughter. (The
Daily Mail)
ALWAYS BE NICE TO PEOPLE WHO PUT SHARP OBJECTS IN YOUR MOUTH
Our first (and hopefully last) contestant in the Worst Dentist
of 2007 competition is England’s Dr. David Quelch (well,
he used to be a doctor) who was found guilty of serious professional
misconduct after extracting two teeth from an 87-year-old woman
against her will and without anaesthetic. The worst part is that
the extractions were completely unnecessary and only done as revenge
after the patient complained about a previous visit to the dentist.
According to her testimony, the dentist shouted ”that’ll
teach you to complain to the doctor about me,” after pulling
a second tooth out of her head, leaving her bleeding profusely
and in excruciating pain. (The
Telegraph)
FLUSHING
NEMO
I can’t figure out if this is for people who love fish or
hate them... either way, you can now buy a toilet tank which doubles
as a see-through aquarium so that your pet fish can watch you
take a dump. Plus, when they die, it’s just a very short
trip to the graveyard. Check it out at FishnFlush.com.
THIS EXPLAINS WHY YOU’RE STUPID AND HORNY
A common parasite which is carried by about 40 percent of the
human population has been found to make men less intelligent and
women more promiscuous. New studies suggest that Toxoplasma gondii,
a parasite which was thought to harmless to healthy people actually
causes strange behavioral changes in those infected. According
to infectious disease specialist Dr. Nicky Boulter, men infected
with the parasite have lower IQs, shorter attention spans, and
are more anti-social, suspicious, jealous and morose. Meanwhile,
the same parasite effects woman completely differently, making
them more friendly, outgoing, promiscuous, and even making them
appear more attractive to men than uninfected women. (Smh.com.au)
I’LL WRITE A HEADLINE LATER
A study on procrastination by a Canadian professor has finally
been released five years after it was supposed to be complete.
And the ground-breaking news which took ten years to discover
is that more people procrastinate then ever before due to the
many more distractions we all have available to delay work. Incredibly
insightful, isn’t it? (CNN)
A GOOD EXCUSE THE NEXT TIME YOU GET CAUGHT SHOPLIFTING
Ever heard of "Anarchic Hand"? Sounds cool, but you
probably don't want it. Only 40 cases of this condition have been
documented in which one hand seems to have a will of its own and
"argues" with the other hand about things like which
TV channel to watch or what to eat. Sergio Della Salla, professor
of Neuropsychology at the University of Aberdeen, UK, has started
to study this phenomenon in relation to our ideas of free will.
"The patients are aware of the bizarre and potentially hazardous
behaviour of their hand but have great difficulty inhibiting it,"
he says. "They often refer to the feeling that one of their
hands behaves as if it has its own will but never deny that this
capricious hand is part of their own body."
I-READ-IT-ON-THE-INTERNET-SO-IT-MUST-BE-TRUE FACT OF THE WEEK
$4.8 million will buy most people everything they think they will
need in order to be happy.
Click
here to join the Curious Times e-mail list and get all the Bizarro
News direct to your inbox each week.
