FREAKS
R US
I found a great strange website called OddPeak.com which recently
published an article called “The
10 Most Bizarre People on Earth.” Among the high weirdness
is a Vietnamese man who hasn’t slept since 1973 without any
ill health effect, an Indian man who had to have his twin brother’s
fetus removed from his stomach, a Japanese soldier who hid from
World War II from 1944 until 1972, an Iranian man who has lived
at Charles de Gaulle airport in Paris since 1988, a Japanese man
who has photographed every meal he has eaten for the past 34 years,
and a French man who has been dubbed “Mister Eat-It-All”
because has eaten almost anything imaginable, including bicycles,
television sets, and a Cessna airplane which took him about two
years to disassemble and consume. Of course, religious loons are
also represented on the list with a Japanese politician who believes
he is Jesus and an American man who has elected himself Pope.
BUILDING WEBS IS FOR SUCKAS
The year is still very young but we already have a contender in
the 2007 edition of the “Best Two Minutes of YouTube”
competition. Check out this hilarious short film disguised as
a National Film Board of Canada documentary about spiders under
the influence of alcohol, marijuana, LSD and crack.
MAN’S BEST FRIEND IS ACTUALLY BEER
Last week a German man sold his step-daughter’s pet beagle
to the owner of his local bar for $53 worth of beer. The unemployed
man, who we’ll call Homer, offered to take the dog for a
walk but returned with nothing more than a belly full of beer.
The happy ending to this story is that the bar owner returned
the pet to the girl after hearing the full sorry tale. (Reuters)
I DIVORCE THEE, I DIVORCE THEE, I ... AH, FORGET ABOUT IT
Be warned that the old phrase “if you want something done
right you have to do it yourself” only applies if you actually
know how to do whatever it is that needs doing. I bring this up
because the LA
Times reports that up to a third of divorced people in California
are probably still legally married due to “Do-It-Yourself”
divorce kits which were filed incompletely or not finalized.
GEORGE
BUSH IS AN ASS MAN
If you didn’t get what you wanted for Christmas you’re
going to have to take matters into your own hands and head on
over to Fleshbot.com
where you can order yourself the George W. Bush Presidential Butt
Plug. “This President will really f*** you up the butt. You’re
already familiar with the sensation, so why not REALLY FEEL IT,”
exclaims the ad copy on the site, which is helpfully accompanied
by a cute little image of the four inches of plastic weirdness.
They go on to promise that “with this fat headed, huge stub
of a plug no ass is safe anywhere...invade an Iraqi, an Afghani,
or even an Iranian when you want.”
DO
YOU BELIEVE IN SURVEYS?
A survey of paranormal beliefs carried out late last year by researchers
at Monash University in Australia found that as many as 96 percent
of people believe in some kind of spookiness, while a massive
70 percent claimed that an unexplained event changed their lives
in a positive way. Unfortunately this survey was not scientific
in any way, shape, or form, but simply an anonymous online questionnaire
which would probably only have been filled out by people who believed
in the paranormal in the first place. Other results from the survey
found that 80 percent of respondents have had a premonition and
50 percent recall one of their previous lives. (ABC.net.au)
HOLD OFF ON THAT HEART ATTACK
If you’re planning to suffer a medical emergency I’d
like to advise you to try your best to be admitted to the hospital
early in the week. According to a report from a British think-tank,
people who arrive in the hospital near the end of the week end
up staying longer because hospitals provide less services on the
weekends which delays treatment and discharge. The study found
that Thursdays and Fridays are the worst days to be admitted to
the hospital, with patients staying an average of a full day longer
than those admitted earlier in the week. (The
Daily Mail)
HAPPY WHATEVER DAY
If you’re not all partied out from the Xmas and New Year’s
festivities, don’t miss these January holidays coming up.
According to internet lore, Jan. 13 is Blame Someone Else Day,
Jan. 22 is National Answer Your Cat's Question Day, Jan. 23 is
Measure Your Feet Day, and Jan. 25 is Opposite Day.
I-READ-IT-ON-THE-INTERNET-SO-IT-MUST-BE-TRUE FACT OF THE WEEK
Twenty-five percent of Americans believe Jesus will return in
2007, while forty-four percent believe he will return in the next
50 years.
FREAKS
R US 
GEORGE
BUSH IS AN ASS MAN 