CURIOUS TIMES
Trippy News from a Dysfunctional Planet

You'll laugh...
You'll cry...
You'll shake your
head and say

"What the F*#!?"



Join the Curious Times e-mail list now!

Your Name:
E-mail Address:





CURRENT ISSUE


PAST ISSUES



CURIOUS BLOG



Curious Times
Copyright 2006
by Andreas Ohrt


Click Here
Click Here For
Moon Land




Click Here For
Weird Tees

 



Click Here For
Free Poker Chips


 


Curious Times No. 368
September 28, 2006

IT’S IMPOSSIBLE TO LIVE WITH ANOTHER MAN’S PENIS
The recipient of the world’s first penis transplant has asked doctor’s to remove the appendage due to “a severe psychological problem of the recipient and his wife,” according to surgeons at China’s Guangzhou General Hospital. Doctors spent 15 hours attaching a 10 cm penis to a 44-year-old man after an accident damaged his original equipment beyond repair. However, just two weeks later the man asked to have the surgery reversed. According to the French surgeon who performed the world’s first face transplant, psychological factors are a larger obstacle to successful operations than the surgical techniques themselves. “Psychological consequences... show that it is not so easy to use and see permanently a dead person’s hands, nor is it easy to look in a mirror to see a dead person’s face,” said Dr. Jean-Michel Dubernard. “Clearly, in the Chinese case the failure at a very early stage was first psychological. It involved the recipient’s wife and raised many questions.” (The Guardian)

IN HOLLYWOOD, MONEY CAN SOLVE ANY PROBLEM
While we’re on the subject of genital enhancements, an ad for "Laser Vaginal Rejuvenation" in a Hollywood film-rag informs us that "a growing number of women are joining a new trend in plastic surgery to improve the appearance of their outer vaginal area." According to the ad, a new technique called labiaplasty reduces the size and shape of the inner lips of the vagina. Other ground-breaking techniques in Female Genital Cosmetic Surgery (the politically-correct term) are vaginal tightening, liposuction and lip lifting, "repair" of the hymen, the clipping of asymmetrical inner lips (horror!), unhooding the clitoris for more friction, and injecting fat into lips thought to be too thin.

FETISH OF THE WEEK
And one more while we’re riding this theme: apotembnophilia is defined as "obtaining sexual gratification from limb removal." There are approximately 200 known apotembnophiliacs worldwide (I wonder how many we don't know about), with the most famous case being Dr. John Ronald Brown, a doctor who was known for happily amputating healthy limbs and was jailed on two separate occasions for botched sex-change operations which he performed in hotels or his garage. (Fortean Times)

HEY DOC, DOES MY INSURANCE COVER A REACH-AROUND?
It’s only September but I think it’s safe to end nominations for “Headline of the Year” after a story about urologists in Japan’s Mainichi Times ran under this headline: “Slutty Schoolgirls and Self-circumcisions: All in a day’s work for a Urologist.” Actually, the article is almost as funny as the headline, telling the tale of Japanese urologists who are complaining about the sharp rise of embarrassing and irritating incidents in their profession. For example, prostate massages are now covered by Japan’s health insurance, making the cost of receiving one from a urologist far cheaper than going to a sex professional, and giving gay men a great excuse to go to a doctor since there are very few sexual services for homosexuals in Japan. One doctor who was fed up with men coming in for his specialized service told a reporter that “some patients develop a real liking for prostate massages, but I put on the gloves and make sure I let them have it so rough they won’t ever want to come back for more. But even after I’ve really given it to them, they still keep coming back for more.”

THE ILLUSION OF SAFETY
An experiment carried out by a traffic psychologist in Britain found that a cyclist is more likely to be hit by a car if he or she is wearing a helmet. The study found that cars give more space to helmet-less cyclists when passing them on the road, and are more than twice as likely to pass within 8.5 centimeters of a cyclist wearing a helmet. The tests also found that drivers give cyclists who appear to be female (that is, a cyclist not wearing a helmet and with long hair) an average of 14 centimeters more space when passing. “We know helmets are useful in low-speed falls, and so definitely good for children, but whether they offer any real protection to somebody struck by a car is very controversial,” said Dr. Ian Walker of Bath University. “Either way, this study suggests wearing a helmet might make a collision more likely in the first place.” (BBC)

OCTOBERFESTS
We return now to the “If You Need an Excuse to Party” files with this collection of October holidays which you probably don’t yet celebrate. According to internet lore, Oct. 2 is Name Your Car Day, Oct. 9 is Moldy Cheese Day, Oct. 12 is International Moment of Frustration Scream Day, and, of course, Oct. 25 is Punk For a Day Day. Cheers!

IT’S THE ECONOMY, STUPID
According to a marketing journal called Mckinsey Quarterly, 74% of Chinese believe that a free market is the best way to run the world,while only 36% of French share that sentiment. Meanwhile, 50% of Latin Americans would accept a dictator if the result was a higher standard of living.

I-READ-IT-ON-THE-INTERNET-SO-IT-MUST-BE-TRUE FACT OF THE WEEK
Scottish animal rights activists have petitioned their government to officially change the name of the Loch Ness Monster to the "Loch Ness Creature," because the word monster carries negative connotations.


Click here to join the Curious Times e-mail list and get all the Bizarro News direct to your inbox each week.

Home | Archives | Links | Join Email List | Blog | Weird Gifts

Copyright 2006 by Andreas Ohrt