Curious
Times No. 365
September 7, 2006
GOD IS EVERYWHERE
It
turns out that August was one of the busiest months in recent
memory for sighting of the Virgin Mary and Jesus. Sort of... According
to an excellent compilation at Neatorama.com
(complete with bizarre photographs!), last month the Virgin Mary
appeared in a piece of chocolate in California, on the stomach
of a pet turtle in Chicago, in the wood paneling of a Californian
restaurant and within the leftover grease on a George Foreman
Grill drip pan in Missouri. Meanwhile, Jesus was busy popping
up in an oyster shell (now for sale on eBay), on the MRI scan
of a woman’s spine in Pittsburgh, on the ultrasound scan
of a baby over in the UK. and on a shrimp, again in California.
And finally, the word “God” also made an appearance
hidden with the markings on the side of a 4-foot-long alligator
in Wisconsin.
DISGUSTING FILTH IS IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER
Check out the inside front cover of that Ikea catalogue you were
sent last month. Take a second look at the photo of a dog lying
on the couch with the family. Despite a new internet legend which
claims that Ikea must have doctored the photo to make the dog
appear to have a huge human wang, a spokesperson from Ikea was
adamant that the effect is simply an optical illusion seen only
by those whose minds are deeply entrenched in the gutter. “It
really is just a dog with its leg on the couch — nothing
else,” Ikea’s Eva Stal told a Swedish newspaper. (UPI)
THESE WORDS ARE SO YESTERDAY
According to an annual survey of television words which have made
an impact on the English language (no, I don’t know why they
have such a survey, and yes, I realize this is the stupidest waste
of energy imaginable), political satirist Stephen Colbert has
scored two winners with his invented words truthiness (truth unencumbered
by the facts) and Wikiality (reality as determined by majority
vote). Even though Colbert is the only person on the planet who
uses either of these words the folks from the Global Language
Monitor believe these words may become “embedded in the language
for years to come.” (Reuters)
ISN’T THAT HOW GANDHI GOT BUSTED?
A man who was living in a tent in the forest near Whistler last
winter and trying to “become a perfect person” through
fasting ended his spiritual quest by throwing a rock through the
window of a condo, breaking in and ripping open all the Christmas
presents looking for chocolates, and raiding the fridge and cupboards
before passing out. Jim Nelson, 49, was acquitted of the crime
last week after the judge bought his defense that a 60 day fast
induced “hunger, clouds of insanity [and] total confusion,”
leaving him unable to act rationally. According to the testimony,
the condo’s owner arrived at home to find Nelson “lying
unconscious in the kitchen surrounded by wrapping paper with bags
of vomit and feces located about him.” (Vancouver
Sun)
MY
SHOES DO NOT EXPLODE
After a man at JFK airport in New York was forced to take off
a t-shirt with Arabic writing on it or miss his flight, an artist
created a t-shirt which says “I am not a terrorist”
in Arabic. “We have already given away too many freedoms
in the name of war on terror. Freedom of speech cannot be one
of them,” writes Tim Murtaugh, adding, “I plan to wear
it every time I go to the airport from now on.” Get yours
at ItsNotAllBad.com/iamnotaterrorist
ARMLESS BANDIT
In an effort to win back customers a Japanese bank has added the
chance to win some cash whenever you withdraw money from an ATM.
After each transaction a roulette wheel pops up on screen and
gives you one chance to spin yourself an extra 1000 yen. (Reuters)
TRY
NOT TO BURN YOUR DICK ON THE TAILPIPE
How bored do you have to be to go watch people humping Hummers?
You won’t know until you end up at IHumpedYourHummer.com.
Try not to get too turned on, freak.
TALLER, SMARTER, RICHER
In the past I’ve reported on research which suggested that
tall people earn more money than shorter folks, with a height
advantage of four inches equalling an average of 10 percent higher
wages. Now we have research which might explain this phenomena.
According to a study done at Princeton University tall people
are actually smarter than the rest of us. After analyzing data
from studies which followed British and American children born
in the years 1958 and 1970, the researchers concluded that “as
early as age three — before schooling has had a chance to
play a role — and throughout childhood, taller children perform
significantly better on cognitive tests.” (Reuters)
I-READ-IT-ON-THE-INTERNET-SO-IT-MUST-BE-TRUE FACT OF THE WEEK
If you could use up all the unredeemed frequent flyer miles of
everyone in the world, you could take 42,500 round-trip flights
to the sun.
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