Curious
Times No. 364
August 31, 2006
BIG DEAL, MY JESUS ICON DOES SHOTS OF TEQUILA
India experienced another one of its episodes of mass hysteria
last week as thousands of people flocked to temples after rumours
spread that idols of Hindu gods were drinking milk offered by
devotees. A mad crush of frenzied worshippers mobbed statues of
Lord Shiva, Lord Krishna, and Lord Ganesh in temples throughout
northern India in order to be blessed by the miraculous turn of
events. “It is amazing, Lord Ganesha drank milk from my hands.
Now he will answer all my prayers,” said one devotee in Kolkata.
Of course, not everyone was impressed. Leave it to a geology professor
to ruin the party, who explained to Reuters that “it is very
natural for any stone idol to absorb any liquid and the older
the stone the more it absorbs.” (Reuters)
GOD WANTS YOU TO CHILL, DUDE
Normally I wouldn’t expect you to heed the advice of the
Pope, but this time he’s got it right. Greeting tourists
at his summer residence near Rome, Pope Benedict XVI warned his
followers against the dangers of working too hard, claiming that
too much work is bad for the spirit. Quoting the 12th century
writings of St. Bernard, the Pope reminded everyone to “watch
out for the dangers of an excessive activity, whatever... the
job that you hold, because many jobs often lead to the ‘hardening
of the heart,’ as well as ‘suffering of the spirit,
loss of intelligence.’” (USA
Today)
TIME FOR JANET JACKSON TO MOVE TO SWEDEN
Sweden’s state television accidently showed its viewers five
minutes of porn last week in the background of a news program.
Viewers of the show could see explicit scenes from a Czech porn
movie on the TV screen behind the anchorman. The excellent thing
about this story is that while the incident sparked “enormous
interest from media,” the TV station did not receive a single
complaint from viewers. (CNN)
GUILTY BY REASON OF INSANITY
At last we get an update on the Philippine judge who was suspended
from his position last May after it was discovered that he talked
to imaginary dwarves and believed hat he could read the future
and heal people (or make them sick). After reviewing his appeal
of the suspension and administering a psychiatric test, Judge
Florentino Floro has now been officially fired. The final ruling
from the Supreme Court read, in part, “His insistence on
the existence of ‘dwarves,’ among other beliefs, conflicts
with the prevailing expectations concerning judicial behavior
and manifests a mental state that should lay to rest any doubts
about his valid removal from office for lack of the judicial temperament
required of all those in the bench.” I’ll update this
story again when the dwarf army takes it’s revenge. (AllHeadlineNews.com)
LONG
LIVE THE PUPPETMASTERS
If you’re still worried about secret societies which control
the world why not take the attitude of Dilbert creator Scott Adams
who recently expressed the hope that there is indeed a small group
of ultra-rich capitalists who secretly control the world. “The
only way I can get to sleep at night is by imagining a secret
cabal of highly competent puppetmasters who are handling the important
decisions while our elected politicians debate flag burning and
the definition of marriage,” he muses, adding that “it’s
the only explanation for how the governments of the world could
be staffed with morons and yet everything still runs okay, sort
of... There must be some competent people pulling the strings
behind the curtain, adjusting the money supply, twiddling with
interest rates, choosing the winners for American Idol, and that
sort of thing.” (DilbertBlog.typepad.com)
DON’T FORGET THE FREE SEX
An Austrian man was arrested last week while trying to break into
prison. “Life is so much easier on the inside,” explained
Detlef Federsohn, 23. “They feed you, do your washing and
let you watch TV, which I can tell you is a lot more than my mum
does.”
(News.com.au)
GOOD LUCK REMEMBERING THESE TIPS WHEN YOU ACTUALLY NEED THEM
According to an article in Men’s
Health magazine titled “18 Tricks to Teach Your Body,”
you can cure a toothache by rubbing ice on the back of your hand,
stop a room from spinning (if you’re drunk) by putting one
hand on something stable, and reduce the pain of a brainfreeze
by pressing your tongue against the roof of your mouth.
HISTORICAL FACTS WE DIDN’T NEED TO KNOW
Michael Newton, author of The Encyclopedia Of Serial Killers,claims
that the first recorded serial killer was a woman in the time
of the Roman Empire, and that she was punished with rape by "specially-trained
giraffes." He also contends that Brazilian and Argentinian
secret police used "specially-trained dogs" for similarly
obscene punishments as recently as the 1970's.
I-READ-IT-ON-THE-INTERNET-SO-IT-MUST-BE-TRUE FACT OF THE WEEK
It takes only one tenth of one second to decide whether or not
you’d like to have sex with a person you’ve just met.
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