Curious
Times No. 354
June 22, 2006
WHAT’S NEXT? CATS THAT LIKE HUMANS?
An American company has created what it calls the world’s
first hypoallergenic cat by breeding out the protein in cats which
causes allergic reaction in humans. California-based Allerca Lifestyle
Pets claims to have bred over 20 allergy-free cats and already
has hundreds of advance orders from around the world. Of course,
not everyone is happy with this latest step towards a perfect
world. PETA’s European director Poorva Joshipura accused
Allerca of treating cats as “nothing more than today’s
latest designer handbag” and warned that “breeding for
a certain genetic trait can lead to numerous health problems,
including physical deformities, deafness, eye diseases, and a
host of other ailments.” But that won’t stop the allergic
suckers who want cats... these critters are selling for a whopping
US$5,000 each. (The
Scotsman)
WITHOUT OBSCENE PROGRAMS, WHAT’S THE POINT OF WATCHING
TV?
The U.S. Senate has passed the Broadcast Decency Enforcement Act
by a 379-25 vote making it much more expensive to air “obscene
or indecent” programs on television. For example, it’s
now ten times as expensive to say “fuck” on TV, with
the fine increasing from $32,500 to $325,000. This legislation
also slapped a $550,000 fine against CBS for the horror of showing
one human breast during the 2004 Super Bowl. (TVTechnology.com)
HOLY
GIRL-ON-GIRL ACTION BATMAN!
Because the audience for comics consists mainly of horny-but-frustrated
young teenage boys, DC Comics has announced it will resurrect
Batwoman as a lesbian in a series to begin this July. A straight-faced
spokesperson for DC claimed this marketing schtick wasn’t
simply about the sex, saying that “We’re trying for
overall diversity in the DC universe. We have strong African-American,
Hispanic and Asian characters. We’re trying to get a better
cross-section of our readership and the world.” Uh-huh...
I’m not sure how exactly they plan to squeeze hot lesbian
sex into the crime-fighting antics of my new favorite superhero,
but I can’t wait for the movie... (CBC)
“WE’RE
JUST FOLLOWING ORDERS”
Alien abductee researcher Preston Dennet has compiled a list of
things that aliens sometimes say to their abductees. Dennett admits
that face-to-face encounters with aliens are by far the rarest
type of UFO experience, and extraterrestrials are very reluctant
to talk to their abductees. However, in 20 years of research he
has found a handful of cases where aliens have actually spoken.
Generally, he says, aliens don't speak, and when they do speak,
they often repeat themselves, saying the same few phrases to all
of their abductees. Here then, are some of the top alien phrases:
"do not be afraid, we won't hurt you"; "you won't
remember this"; "we need babies"; "our emotions
are different than yours"; "we are from a place you
don't know about yet"; "we've been here a long, long
time"; and "it is very important we do this." (Llewellyn
Journal)
HAIL
SATAN JR.
According to a story from the UK’s Mirror newspaper, a woman
in Bristol gave birth to her baby shortly after 6 a.m. on June
6, 2006 (6/6/06) after a six day long labour. And then, in order
to make it into this column, the happy parents named the child
Damien. (The
Mirror)
FOR
ALL YOUR SHITTY MUSIC
If taking a big dump has lost its thrill it might be time to spring
for the new iPod docking station which comes complete with a toilet
paper roll holder. Check it out at Atechflash.com/products-icarta.html
ALL
THE EXCITEMENT OF WATCHING TURF GROW
Trying to protect the impoverished people of his country from...
uh... more impoverishment, the Cambodian Prime Minister has released
a statement urging people not to sell all their worldly possession
in order to make bets on the World Cup. "Go ahead and watch
it, but do not sell your cows, motorcycles, cars, homes and land
to bet on the games," said Prime Minster Hun Sen. Meanwhile,
in another part of the country, Cambodia’s monks were warned
to watch the World Cup matches passively or risk being defrocked.
"If they make noise or cheer as they watch, they will lose
their monkhoods," warned a religious leader in Phnom Penh.
(Reuters)
USUALLY INFLATABLE TOYS DON’T COME OUT UNTIL AFTER YOU’RE
DRUNK
If
you didn’t get what you want for Father’s Day (or even
if you did) you can go order your very own inflatable pub from
Airquee.co.uk,
the company which also created the world’s first inflatable
church. The pub pumps up in about 10 minutes and measures 40 feet
long, 14 feet wide, and 22 feet high, which is enough room for
30 of your drunk friends.
I-READ-IT-ON-THE-INTERNET-SO-IT-MUST-BE-TRUE FACT OF THE WEEK
72 per cent of pet owners kiss their pets before they kiss their
spouse after getting home from work, and 18 per cent of pet owners
consider their pet a "genius."
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