Curious
Times No. 349
May 18, 2006
BUT
THE SHAREHOLDERS ARE HAPPY
Need a good hate-on? Check out the very thoroughly documented
report titled “The Top 10 Worst Corporations of 2005”
for a smorgasbord of bribery, profiteering, polluting, poisoning
and the mistreatment of humans, animals and the environment in
every conceivable way. This year’s top 10 worst corporations,
in alphabetical order, are BP, Delphi, Dupont, ExxonMobil, Ford,
Halliburton, KPMG, Roche, Suez, W.R. Grace. Did I mention that
most of the corporations recorded record profits last year thanks
to oil price profiteering? Get the facts at MultinationalMonitor.org
STILL CRAZY AFTER ALL THESE WEEKS
A couple of weeks back we learned of a judge in the Philippines
who was relieved of his duties after his superiors discovered
that the judge believed that he could see into the future and
used imaginary dwarf friends to help him render decisions. Last
week the judge went in front of Manila’s Supreme Court to
plead his case. “They should not have dismissed me for what
I believe,” said former judge Florentino Floro. “This
is the first time this happened in the Judiciary.” So far,
no word on whether the Supreme Court judges will re-instate him,
but things don’t look good considering new information which
came forth during the hearing, when Floro confessed that he had
three dwarf friends named Armand, Luis, and Angel and that he
conducted psychic healing sessions in his chamber during breaks.
Floro also let it slip that he could inflict pain and sickness
on people... good luck! (INQ7.net)
COLD HARD TRASH
What the heck is up with Japanese dudes hiding their money in
the trash? Last week we learned of one incredibly fortunate man
who was able to retrieve over 5 million yen ($42,210) from the
dump after his wife threw out the garbage... including his hidden
stash. This week almost $275,000 has turned up at an industrial
waste site and police are seeking its rightful owner. So far,
six people have claimed the money, but none with proof that the
money is theirs. (AFP)
THE UNIVERSE LOOKS PRETTY GOOD FOR ITS AGE
A radical new theory proposed by theoretical physicists suggests
that the universe may be infinitely old and infinitely large.
The new study suggests that time did not begin along with the
Big Bang 14 billion year ago, but that “big bangs” happen
repeatedly in a never-ending cycle of universal expansion and
contraction. Under this new theory, the universe must be at least
a trillion years old and have experienced innumerable “big
bangs” and “big crunches.” (By the way, this theory
has been lifted directly from the Bhagavad Gita.) “I think
it is much more likely to be far older than a trillion years though,”
said Professor Neil Turok, a theoretical physicist at the University
of Cambridge. “There doesn’t have to be a beginning
of time. According to our theory, the universe may be infinitely
old and infinitely large.” Fortunately, the next big crunch
won’t gobble us all up for at least 10 billion more years.
(The
Guardian)
THIS IS A ONE-TIME OFFER
Okay guys, if you can pull off the character of naive young virgin
you can get a great deal on sex. A brothel in Germany has become
the first to offer special deals and special women to cater to
customers who have never had sex. I’m not exactly sure how
they plan to separate the real virgins from the johns looking
for a deal, but thankfully that’s not my problem. And to
make it a really special experience, the prostitutes have been
given “sensitivity training” in order to deal with the
supposed fragile emotional state of the virgin male. That is so
sweet... (Reuters)
THINGS ARE LOOKING UP SINCE MY BAD LUCK CHARM DIED
Since the death of his nagging wife, 81-year-old Keith Selix of
Iowa has managed to win three large prizes in his local lotteries.
“She thought I was wasting away my money,” said Selix,
but now that she is gone, he believes that she is somehow helping
him to cash in. His wife died in February of 2005, and since that
time Selix has won three prizes totalling $82,000. (WCFCourier.com)
I-READ-IT-ON-THE-INTERNET-SO-IT-MUST-BE-TRUE FACT OF THE WEEK
Britian’s male drivers waste nearly six million hours a year
lost on the road due to their unwillingness to ask for directions.
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