Curious
Times No. 339
March 9, 2006
LETS
PUT AN END TO STUPID, UGLY PEOPLE
James Watson, the biologist who helped discover the structure
of DNA 50 years ago, has stirred up a bit of controversy in the
UK by suggesting that low intelligence is an inherited disorder
and that molecular biologists should create gene therapies to
wipe out the plague of stupid people on our planet. "If you
are really stupid, I would call that a disease," Watson explained,
"The lower 10 per cent who really have difficulty, even in
elementary school, what's the cause of it? A lot of people would
like to say, 'Well, poverty, things like that.' It probably isn't.
So I'd like to get rid of that, to help the lower 10 per cent."
He went on to suggest that geneticists should also get busy engineering
beauty genes, so that we could eliminate stupidity and ugliness.
"People say it would be terrible if we made all girls pretty.
I think it would be great," he concluded. (New Scientist)
DRIVING PEOPLE CRAZY
A survey of over 2,000 motorists in the UK has found that a whopping
47 percent of drivers talk to their cars, giving them words of
encouragement before a long trip and praising them for a job well
done at the end of journeys. The survey also found that people
who talk to Their cars believe that their car has a personality
and is capable of feeling upset if it is not treated kindly, and
that 19 percent of people actually worry about how their car is
feeling.
A KINDER, GENTLER SHOCK THERAPY
After being dealt a knockout blow by heavy pharmaceutical drugs,
electroshock therapy is staging a comeback with claims that a
new milder form of shock therapy can help alleviate the symptoms
of severe depression, schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. According
to a company called Neuronetics out of Pennsylvania, a new form
of shock therapy called transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS)
can improve mood disorders by altering the electrical activity
inside the brain with magnetic fields which can send low-voltage
electrical shocks to areas of the brain which need a pick-me-up.
When aimed at the prefrontal cortex, an area of the brain important
for moderating negative emotions, TMS treatments seem to create
the same physiological changes as the drugs Prozac and Celexa.
(Wired)
GOD'S CHOSEN OIL
A company in Israel called Zion Oil is planning to use Biblical
scriptures in order to find huge oil reserves which they believe
are buried under the land beneath Israel. "The Bible spells
out where the oil is," said Zion Oil's founder and chairman
John Brown, adding that "Israel will have enough oil not
to worry about all the implications of the Arab states using their
oil to threaten and gain power." Check out their progress
at ZionOil.com.
PROOF THAT IM NO PERVERT
A 34-year-old man in Ottawa who had been charged with sexual assault
against several young girls defended himself in court by claiming
that he had never raped any of the girls, but had only drunk their
urine. Sexual intercourse, he explained, "is not my thing.
Urophilia is my thing." (Ottawa Sun)
SELF-LOVE HURTS
The folks at MasturbationHorror.com have been so kind as to compile
a few dozen horror stories about the dangers of unsafe masturbation.
"We've combed through the medical journals to find the most
horrific examples of masturbation mishaps. From misplaced household
items to self-mutilation to accidental death..." they boast.
The stories are separated into four categories: Vacuum Disasters,
Women in Trouble, Injury and Death, and Reader Stories. Don't
miss this chance to impress your friends by submitting your own
masturbation nightmare.
TIT PRANKS FOR BEGINNERS
And the winner of the world's most ingenious and convoluted way
to get a look at some naked breasts goes to a couple in Portugal
whose scheme convinced four women to stand at their windows with
the shirts off. The plan began when a woman posing as a doctor
phoned the four victims, and explained to them a revolutionary
new method of mammograhy done by satellite. The women were told
they could have free breast exams done simply by standing naked
by their windows and looking up in the direction of the satellite.
Later, when the "doctor" called back with the results,
she started vividly describing her sexual desires to the four
victims. Police are investigating the complaints, and taking lots
of pictures of the crime scene, I suppose. (ABC News)
BREEDERS RULE THE WORLD
According to the U.S. Census Bureau and its World Population Clock,
the Earth's population hit 6.5 billion people last Saturday at
about 7:16 p.m. EST. No word on whether the lucky baby will be
receiving any free downloads from iTunes...
I-READ-IT-ON-THE-INTERNET-SO-IT-MUST-BE-TRUE FACT OF THE WEEK
On average, 100 people choke to death on ball-point pens every
year.
Click
here to join the Curious Times e-mail list and get all the Bizarro
News direct to your inbox each week.