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Copyright 2006
by Andreas Ohrt


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Curious Times No. 339
March 9, 2006

LET’S PUT AN END TO STUPID, UGLY PEOPLE
James Watson, the biologist who helped discover the structure of DNA 50 years ago, has stirred up a bit of controversy in the UK by suggesting that low intelligence is an inherited disorder and that molecular biologists should create gene therapies to wipe out the plague of stupid people on our planet. "If you are really stupid, I would call that a disease," Watson explained, "The lower 10 per cent who really have difficulty, even in elementary school, what's the cause of it? A lot of people would like to say, 'Well, poverty, things like that.' It probably isn't. So I'd like to get rid of that, to help the lower 10 per cent." He went on to suggest that geneticists should also get busy engineering beauty genes, so that we could eliminate stupidity and ugliness. "People say it would be terrible if we made all girls pretty. I think it would be great," he concluded. (New Scientist)

DRIVING PEOPLE CRAZY
A survey of over 2,000 motorists in the UK has found that a whopping 47 percent of drivers talk to their cars, giving them words of encouragement before a long trip and praising them for a job well done at the end of journeys. The survey also found that people who talk to Their cars believe that their car has a personality and is capable of feeling upset if it is not treated kindly, and that 19 percent of people actually worry about how their car is feeling.

A KINDER, GENTLER SHOCK THERAPY
After being dealt a knockout blow by heavy pharmaceutical drugs, electroshock therapy is staging a comeback with claims that a new milder form of shock therapy can help alleviate the symptoms of severe depression, schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. According to a company called Neuronetics out of Pennsylvania, a new form of shock therapy called transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS) can improve mood disorders by altering the electrical activity inside the brain with magnetic fields which can send low-voltage electrical shocks to areas of the brain which need a pick-me-up. When aimed at the prefrontal cortex, an area of the brain important for moderating negative emotions, TMS treatments seem to create the same physiological changes as the drugs Prozac and Celexa. (Wired)

GOD'S CHOSEN OIL
A company in Israel called Zion Oil is planning to use Biblical scriptures in order to find huge oil reserves which they believe are buried under the land beneath Israel. "The Bible spells out where the oil is," said Zion Oil's founder and chairman John Brown, adding that "Israel will have enough oil not to worry about all the implications of the Arab states using their oil to threaten and gain power." Check out their progress at ZionOil.com.

PROOF THAT I’M NO PERVERT
A 34-year-old man in Ottawa who had been charged with sexual assault against several young girls defended himself in court by claiming that he had never raped any of the girls, but had only drunk their urine. Sexual intercourse, he explained, "is not my thing. Urophilia is my thing." (Ottawa Sun)

SELF-LOVE HURTS
The folks at MasturbationHorror.com have been so kind as to compile a few dozen horror stories about the dangers of unsafe masturbation. "We've combed through the medical journals to find the most horrific examples of masturbation mishaps. From misplaced household items to self-mutilation to accidental death..." they boast. The stories are separated into four categories: Vacuum Disasters, Women in Trouble, Injury and Death, and Reader Stories. Don't miss this chance to impress your friends by submitting your own masturbation nightmare.

TIT PRANKS FOR BEGINNERS
And the winner of the world's most ingenious and convoluted way to get a look at some naked breasts goes to a couple in Portugal whose scheme convinced four women to stand at their windows with the shirts off. The plan began when a woman posing as a doctor phoned the four victims, and explained to them a revolutionary new method of mammograhy done by satellite. The women were told they could have free breast exams done simply by standing naked by their windows and looking up in the direction of the satellite. Later, when the "doctor" called back with the results, she started vividly describing her sexual desires to the four victims. Police are investigating the complaints, and taking lots of pictures of the crime scene, I suppose. (ABC News)

BREEDERS RULE THE WORLD
According to the U.S. Census Bureau and its World Population Clock, the Earth's population hit 6.5 billion people last Saturday at about 7:16 p.m. EST. No word on whether the lucky baby will be receiving any free downloads from iTunes...

I-READ-IT-ON-THE-INTERNET-SO-IT-MUST-BE-TRUE FACT OF THE WEEK
On average, 100 people choke to death on ball-point pens every year.


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Copyright 2006 by Andreas Ohrt