Curious
Times No. 338
March 2, 2006
SURPRISE!
BIG BREASTS AND HARD NIPPLES WON’T MAKE YOU HAPPY
A study from Dutch and Swedish scientists suggests that women
who have breast augmentation surgery done for cosmetic reasons
are three times as likely to commit suicide than the general population.
The researchers believe the problem stems from issues of low self-esteem
and poor body image in women who have breast implants, and suggested
that surgeons should evaluate women for psychological problems
before carrying out any such surgery. "If women have a psychological
problem and they are given breast implants they will still have
the problem," concluded the researchers. In similar yet totally
different news, the new rage in cosmetic surgery is nipple enlargement,
done with injections of collagen or cartilage taken from the patient's
ear. Nipple surgeon Dr. Bruce Nadler says that most people do
it for that "teasing look" of erect nipples, while others
- mostly men - have nipple fetishes and want their nipples to
be the "biggest, most desirable nipples possible." No
word on how many men kill themselves after discovering their super
nipples don't make them feel good about themselves. (Reuters Health)
A FEW INCHES SHORT OF A FULL PSYCHOLOGICAL BREAKDOWN
Life isn’t any easier for men who are so concerned with their
penis size that they opt for penis enlargement surgery. A recent
survey carried out by a team of urologists from a hospital in
London found that the average increase in penis length from surgery
was a mere half inch, with over 70 percent of the men who had
the surgery expressing dissatisfaction with the results. After
analyzing 42 men who had the procedure the researchers concluded
that dissatisfaction with penis size is a psychological problem
and should not be treated with surgery. (Reuters)
ONE COKE, HOLD THE BACTERIA
A 7th-grade student in Florida has discovered that the ice in
fast food restaurants is swarming with more bacteria than the
water in the toilet bowl. Jasmine Roberts, 12, decided to tackle
her hypnothesis for her school’s science project competition.
Roberts went to five fast food joints near her school, asked for
cups of ice at the counter and at the drive-thru window, then
bravely went into the toilet stalls, flushed once, and used a
sterile beaker to capture a sample of toilet bowl water for comparison.
“I found that 70-percent of the time, the ice from the fast
food restaurant’s contain more bacteria than the fast food
restaurant’s toilet water,” concluded her research.
(WTSP TV)
YOUR ASS IS TALKING TO ME
I'm always impressed when someone comes up with an entirely original
scam to part the suckers from their hard-earned cash. So kudos
to 39-year-old Ulf Buck, a blind German psychic, who claims to
be able to see your future by reading the lines on your ass, which,
he claims, are much more reliable than the lines in your palm.
" The bottom is much more intense," he explains, "it
has a much stronger sense of expression than the hand in my experience."
(National Post)
UNIDENTIFIED FLYING IMPERIALISTS
An astronomer in Britain, Dr. Richard Hall warns that contact
with aliens could prove extremely dangerous for humans, as primitive
civilizations (that would be us) which meet with more highly advanced
technological civilizations are usually wiped out. In classic
British understatement, Hall remarked that attempts to contact
civilizations in outer space could prove "horribly counter-productive."
(stuff.co.nz)
NEXT... ADS IN THE CRACKS OF SIDEWALKS
Proving that not a single square inch of the urban landscape is
safe from the stupid advertising ploys of marketers comes the
news that a company called Parking Stripe Advertising is now placing
ads along the white stripes between stalls in a parking lot. “Over
60 percent of all purchases are impulse in nature, and so if you
can garner that last chance to communicate your message, you’re
going to be a heck of a lot better off,” claims company founder
Greg Gorman. The idea was launched in the parking lots of ten
Austin, Texas Home Depots, and has since caught on with grocery
stores, mall, airports, and even schools across the U.S. (Associated
Press)
SCREW THE RAIN FORESTS
A physicist from Columbia University has invented an artificial
tree that is designed to do the job of real trees, drawing carbon
dioxide out of the air in order to help clean up the Earth's atmosphere.
Dr. Klaus Lackner says that the tree doesn't look like a real
tree - more like a goal post with Venetian blinds - but a single
synthetic tree could remove 90,000 tons of carbon dioxide each
year, the equivalent of 15,000 cars, and about a thousand times
more than a living tree can remove. He estimates that about 250,000
synthetic trees would need to be "planted" worldwide
in order to soak up the 22 billion tons of carbon dioxide produced
annually. (BBC)
I-READ-IT-ON-THE-INTERNET-SO-IT-MUST-BE-TRUE FACT OF THE WEEK
You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.
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