Curious
Times No. 325
December 1, 2005
ALIENS ARE SENDING YOU A MESSAGE, AND THE MESSAGE IS THIS:
TIME TO GET A REAL JOB
If you’ve ever wanted to instantly become the world’s
leading crop circle expert, here’s your chance. The current
champ, Colin Andrews, is broke and trying to auction off his massive
20-plus year collection of Crop Circle research material at eBay.
Andrews, author of the world’s first ever book on the subject,
“Circular Evidence”, has collected over 35,000 photographs,
650 videotapes, and at least 3,000 books and publications. The
offer also includes the transfer of all worldwide copyrights on
material owned by Andrews. “I am sure this is one of the
most profound phenomenon of our time,” says the blurb at
eBay. “Universal energy interactions may be at work and the
interface between two dimensions register spectacular patterns
of great meaning and such depth as man can yet imagine.”
The entire package is up for bids with a starting price of $250,000.
Not surprisingly, not a single offer has yet been made.
NO
CHANCE OF GETTING ANY PRETTIER NOW
Sad news out of California this week, where Sam, the ugliest dog
in the world passed on to that Great Extreme Makeover Show in
the Sky. Sam became a celebrity thanks to his hideous looks, easily
winning the World’s Ugliest Dog competition three years in
a row. (www.SamUgliestDog.com)
DO
WHAT YOU LOVE, THE SEX WILL FOLLOW
An IT geek who placed a classified ad on Cragslist which said
“Will Fix Computers For Sexual Favors” claims to have
received an “overwhelming” number of responses from
women who can’t get their computers to work properly and
can’t afford to pay someone to fix them. Ray Digerati, 34,
says it all started after he was called to fix the computer of
one of his friends, who also happened to be a very attractive
woman. After the job was complete, Ray’s penis came up with
a great idea: “Wow, it would be really nice if I could get
sex for this.” And thus, the IT whore was born. “If
I’m working for one or two hours, I’d like a blow job.
An orgasm for every two hours of service is pretty fair. If it’s
something simple that I can fix in 15 minutes, I’d like to
get a foot massage,” says Ray. (syncmag.com)
MONEY BUYS HAPPINESS AFTER ALL
A survey of over 4,000 Japanese men and women found that money
does indeed seem to make people happier, with respondents claiming
higher levels of happiness directly correlated to how much money
they made. However, the happiness level of the highest income
bracket actually dropped among the very richest. “It seems
when people are satisfied with their income, other factors then
matter more,” concluded the researchers who conducted this
survey. (Reuters)
CRIME DOES PAY SOMETIMES
A woman in England who had her debit card stolen was more than
a bit surprised to find that her bank balance was actually going
up instead of down. It seems that the person who stole her card
used it to go bet on the horses, and the bookie has a system whereby
winnings are directly deposited into your account. By the time
police got involved and figured out what had happened, the "victim"
of the crime had made US$445. (London Times)
WHAT’S
THE OPPOSITE OF TITILLATING?
Looking for a bland old time? Head on down to Singapore, the only
nation which can hold a sex exhibition without actually showing
anything sexual. Police warned the organizers of Sexpo 2005, Singapore’s
first ever sexual conference not to promote “objectionable
sexual behaviours or lifestyle, such as sado-masochism, bestiality,
homosexuality, paedophilia and promiscuity.” Okay, fair enough...
but the interpretation of that warning meant that the sex show
was left without whips, handcuffs, penis rings, inflatable dolls,
or anything else even mildly interesting. Instead, hard-up Singaporeans
were left to gaze in wonder at condoms, lingerie, vibrators and
sexual health seminars. Yawn... (Reuters)
BECAUSE IT’S THERE
A 30-year-old Australian man has won the first ever race to the
top of Taipei 101, the world’s tallest skyscraper. Paul Crake,
who is a five-time winner of a similar race up to the top of the
Empire State Building, finished the 91-floor, 390 meter vertical
climb in a mere 10 minutes 29 seconds to take the $6,000 prize.
(Agence-France
Press)
LOVE IS BLIND (AND RETARDED)
A Californian woman who was shot and held hostage in a garage
for six days by her “boyfriend” says she will still
marry him despite his slight anger-management problem. “I
love Christian today as deeply as I loved him before this awful
thing happened to us,” said Tina Marie Stebbins. Too bad
her lover is going to spend the next 20 years in jail for shooting
her. (Associated
Press)
THE FIRST RULE OF FIGHT CLUB IS... DON’T EVER MAKE A MUSICAL
ABOUT FIGHT CLUB
From the “Say It Isn’t So” department comes news
from Playbill
magazine which claims that Chuck Palahniuk’s brilliant
novel (and movie) “Fight Club” may be turned into a
Broadway musical. Let’s hope that Chuck is just messing with
our minds...
“I READ IT ON THE INTERNET SO IT MUST BE TRUE” FACT
OF THE WEEK
The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar
tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
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