Curious
Times No. 320
October 27, 2005
I
READ SOME GOOD NEWS ABOUT POT... I JUST CAN’T REMEMBER WHAT
IT WAS
While America’s drug war tries to keep ganga out of human
hands, lab rats are scoring copious amounts of medicinal-grade
marijuana. And it’s good news for the rest of us stoneheads...
the latest round of research carried out at the University of
Saskatchewan has found that pot may actually stimulate the growth
of new brain cells and reduce depression and anxiety. The experiments
injected the rats with high doses of the artificial cannabinoid
HU210 and discovered that the drug caused neurons to regenerate
in the hippocampus, the area of the brain which regulates moods
and emotions. The effect was similar to the drug Prozac, with
the rats becoming less anxious and more willing to eat in environments
which would normally frighten them. The researchers also stated
that their experiments seem to back up previous studies which
showed that marijuana helps ease the effects of pain, nausea,
tumours, epilepsy, stroke, and a variety of other medical disorders.
Cannabinoids are the only illicit drug which has been shown to
regenerate brain cells. All other drugs, including alcohol, heroin,
cocaine, and nicotine, destroy nerve cells in the hippocampus.
(New
Scientist)
THEY’LL BE ON THE STREET BEGGING FOR NUTS THIS WINTER
While lab rats enjoy the quality-controlled highs of science,
squirrels in Britain and America are getting hooked on crack.
Crack squirrels are supposedly common in New York and Washington,
D.C., where they live in parks frequented by addicts and root
out rocks of crack which dealers hide in the park. The phenomena
has now spread to Brixton, England, where a recent crackdown on
dealers has moved the drugs from the city core to more residential
neighborhoods, and squirrels have been spotted hunting for stashes
which have been hidden in the front lawns and gardens of unsuspecting
residents. (South
London Press)
I’M HALF THE MAN I USED TO BE
The Sun newspaper in London reports that men under hypnosis are
able to experience female orgasms. Writer Simeon de la Torre was
put on assignment in which he was asked to undergo deep hypnosis
and be led through the experience of pregnancy and childbirth
by the hypnotist. The experiment was going so successfully that
the therapist decided to regress him back to the point of conception
in order to see if he could experience an orgasm like a woman.
“I started to feel a bit odd, then was getting warmer and
warmer,” recalls de la Torre. “The climax appeared to
come from within... waves of euphoria radiated over me from the
pit of my stomach to my toes as a gleeful smile spread across
my face.” He went on to claim that the female orgasm was
longer, gentler, and far better than the ones he normally has.
“Now I want to do it again,” he said.
(The
Sun)
THAT BULGE IN MY PANTS IS A FAT WALLET
I can’t really come out and condone learning how to embezzle
large sums of money from your company, but you have to admit it’s
an effective way to score chicks after you’re way over the
hill. Like the recent news out of Japan, where a 56-year-old balding,
pudgy, married grandfather managed to keep a harem of 17 mistresses
thanks to the 1.9 billion yen he funnelled from his company’s
coffers over the past 30 years. Masaki Matsubayashi has been dubbed
“Cashanova” by the Japanese press after his exploits
were discovered by tax investigators. After his arrest he expressed
no remorse, telling police that “I wanted as many sex partners
as I could get... I want more new women... Sex pleases me more
than anything else in the whole world. It’s what I live for.
I don’t feel guilty at all.” (Mainichi
Daily News)
ONE LESS WAY TO DIE
Here’s some useful survival knowledge for the next time you
find yourself trapped in quicksand. According to scientists, quicksand
can not actually kill you by pulling you all the way under. According
to lab experiments done by experts in soil mechanics (a dream
job if I ever heard of one), the possibility of begin sucked under
are exactly nil.“The real danger of quicksand is that you
can get stuck in it when the high tides come up,” said one
of the researchers, claiming that if you wait long enough, the
sand particles will settle beneath you and push you back out.
Of course, these lab geeks haven’t mustered up the courage
to actually try this out in the jungle with a real human, so we’ll
have to take their word on it for now. (Nature)
THE WORLD’S LEAST SEXY RECORD
The age-old question of why men have nipples has finally been
answered. It’s so they can break disgusting records like
the one for the world’s longest nipple hair. Tyler Ing of
London now holds this dubious honor after the fine folks from
Guinness came to measure his unruly growth and found that his
8.89 centimeter nipple hair was enough to take down all other
contenders. (London
Free Press)
EYE OF NEWT IS STILL TAX-FREE ON THE BLACK MARKET
A witch in Holland has won a court ruling which will allow her
to write off the cost of brooms on her income taxes. (Ananova)
“I READ IT ON THE INTERNET SO IT MUST BE TRUE” FACT
OF THE WEEK
The fear of the number 666 is called Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia.
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