Curious
Times No. 298
May
26, 2005
HUMAN
INGENUITY WILL BEAT GLOBAL WARMING YET
Ha! You thought I was making up news when I reported that a Swiss
ski resort was planning on wrapping a glacier in tin foil in order
to protect it from melting during the coming summer months. Well,
the BBC has finally caught up with Curious Times to validate this
bizarre tale, as work began last week at the Gemsstock ski resort
to cover approximately 4,000 square meters of the Gurshen glacier
with a protective layer of aluminum foil. Officials at the resort
expect that their innovative solution will soon be copied by ski
resorts worldwide where glaciers are retreating due to global
warming. (BBC)
IN OTHER NEWS, THE PROCRASTINATOR’S CONVENTION HAS BEEN
POSTPONED AGAIN
When dumb old jokes actually make it into reality, we get stories
like this one out of New Zealand, where a local newspaper actually
reported on a group of chronic fatigue sufferers who were too
tired to promote the international day of awareness for their
condition, technically known as myalgic encephalomyelitis, or
ME. The local Chronic Fatigue Support Group co-ordinator Anna
Loach said that a few posters had been put up in some libraries,
but the illness left the group unable to plan any events for the
day of awareness. (stuff.co.nz)
I MISS MY PUSSY
If you ever hear of a bizarre love triangle which ends up okay
please let me know. For now, we have this strange tale out of
India where a man born with both male and female genitalia is
now suing his ex-fiance after she backed out of the marriage even
though he went to all the trouble of having a sex change operation
in order to become a real man. Kutiyamma, 29, underwent 18 months
of treatment so that he could marry Laura, his love of 15 years.
However, after the surgery was complete Kutiyamma discovered that
Laura had become engaged to another man. He is now suing her for
breach of trust and is trying to recover the 50,000 rupees he
spend on what the lawsuit calls “sex deformity correctional”
surgery. (Hindustan
Times)
CAN
YOU SAY “ANOREXIA” BOYS AND GIRLS?
A German scientist is being studied after claiming that he has
lived for the past several years on nothing but light energy and
a little bit of fruit juice. Cancer researcher Dr. Michael Werner,
author of the book “Living Through the Energy of Light”
claims that his body is somehow processing the energy of the sun
in much the same way that plants do, although he’s not sure
how. “I can’t really explain what is happening on a
scientific level in my case, but perhaps just a little bit of
faith is all that is needed.” (Ananova)
PHAT
BOTTOMED GIRLS
And on the other end of the food eating spectrum, we have the
contestants of Thailand’s annual Miss Jumbo Queen competition,
a beauty pageant which pits women who weigh at least 172 pounds
against each other. This year’s winner, 242 pound Tarnrari
Chansawang, 18, was chosen for displaying “all the poise,
elegance and grace of an elephant.” “I’m happy
with my body,” said the winner after accepting her crown.
“Slim or big, just have fun with your friends.”
(sky.com)
BIONIC SUIT COMING SOON
This summer’s World Expo in Japan will feature the unveiling
of a robot suit designed to help older people or those with disabilities
to walk or lift heavy objects. The first version of HAL (Hybrid
Assistive Limb) was a motor-driven metal “exoskeleton”
which you strap to your legs in order to power-assist leg movements.
The latest prototypes, HAL 4 and HAL 5, also include a mechanism
for your upper body which help a person lift up to 40 kilograms
more than normal. “It’s like riding on a robot, rather
than wearing one,” says the suit’s developer Yoshiyuki
Sankai, whose plans include developing a suit to help with medical
rehabilitation. The first commercial robot suits will sell for
between $14,000 and $19,000. (New
Scientist)
NEED A NEW HOBBY?
So you’ve finally kicked your drug addiction and now you’re
bored all the time, right? What you need is a creative project
to keep your mind engaged. Here’s a few options: Build your
own computerized android head for only $600. The website HowToAndroid.com
has full instructions and a list of materials you’ll need.
If you don’t have quite that much money, head on over to
members.cox.net/crandall11/money
and learn how to make origami figures out of dollar
bills. And if you don’t even have a dollar to your name,
maybe you can earn some money by renting out your services as
a cat-nose-shaver. Indeed, at Missionhillpersians.com
they’ve posted a site which explains in great detail “How
to Shave a Cat’s nose.” No, really...
MONKEY SEE, MONKEY SMOKE
A zoo in Johannesburg, South Africa is trying to get it’s
star chimpanzee to stop smoking the cigarette butts which visitors
to the zoo throw in his cage. “Baby chimps pick up habits
by mimicking adults and we think he started mimicking smokers
at his enclosure which probably led to smokers throwing him cigarettes,”
said a zoo spokesperson. Meanwhile, officials at the Zhengzhou
zoo in China admit that one of their chimps is also addicted to
nicotine and his new routine includes “desperately bumming
cigarette butts of visitors.” (Yahoo)
ACID EATERS R US
If acid didn’t fry your brain you might be interested in
celebrating the 100th anniversary of the birth of LSD discoverer
Albert Hofmann at next year’s LSD Symposium in Basel, Switzerland.
“LSD: Program Child and Wonder Drug” will run from Jan.
13th - 15th and will gather worldwide experts to discuss, as they
say at www.lsd.info, “an in-depth review of all aspects of
this unique phenomenon, informing and discussing history, experiences,
implications, risks and potentials of this invisible but highly
potent substance.”
Copyright
2005 by Andreas Ohrt
