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Curious Times No. 270

November 11, 2004


SCAMMING THE SCAMMERS
As bizarre as it seems that people actually fall for the Nigerian e-mail scam, authorities now estimate that the con bilks over $200 million from gullible saps each year in America alone. But at least one person has claimed a small victory for the other side. “Mike,” a 42-year-old self-proclaimed “scambaiter,” replied to one of the scammers pretending to be a priest from the Holy Church of the Order of the Red Breast. Claiming that he could only do business with other church members, Mike convinced the scammer to send him a photo with his breast painted red along with a membership form pledging allegiance to church guru Shiver Metimbers. The scammer then asked for $18,000 in order to set up a wing of the church in Nigeria, to which he could then “donate” $25 million. At that point, Mike asked for $80 in order to pay a clearance fee which the church required to pay out the $18,000. After receiving the money (couriered to UK for a hefty $50 fee), Mike broke off the budding partnership by claiming to have lost the church’s money on a business exporting snow to Siberia. (stuff.co.nz)

HATEMAIL.COM
Muslim clerics in India are considering whether to recognize a divorce delivered by email. Rahat Iqbal, who came to the United States in 1998 and promised to return for his Indian wife after a few weeks, instead waited six years before sending her an email with the Arabic words for “I divorce thee” written three times. The email has sparked a debate among those clerics who believe that the email divorce is perfectly legal, and others who believe slightly more effort needs to be made. One cleric declared that the “divorce should be handwritten and the wife should recognize the handwriting,” while another simply said that Iqbal should at least telephone his wife and confirm that the email is from him. (Hindustan Times)

HITLER’S CHEERLEADERS
A psychological profile of Adolf Hitler recently declassified by the CIA and obtained by London's Guardian newspaper reveals that during WWII the U.S. believed that the Nazi salute was copied from an American cheerleader routine. The report claims that Hitler "adored American football marches and college songs. The 'Seig Heil' used in all political rallies is a direct copy of the technique used by American football cheerleaders." The profile of Hitler also analyzed his sexuality, stating that the Nazi leader had a fondness for circuses, whips, and women who perform dangerous feats. "He does not care much for wild animal acts," concluded the study, "unless there is a woman in danger." (The Guardian)

TIME TO UPGRADE YOUR DOG’S TRICKS
A dog in Washington saved her owner’s life by phoning 911 and unlocking the door when emergency personnel responded. “Faith” is a service dog who had been trained to use her sense of smell to detect changes in her owner’s body in order to alert her of impending seizures. However, after the dog’s owner’s latest seizure, during which she hit her head on a kitchen counter and lay unconscious on the ground, Faith had to use some of her more human-like skills. First, she took the phone receiver off the hook and hit the 911 speed-dial with her nose. When the operator answered, she barked repeatedly until the operator decided to check out the scene. To complete her life-saving trick, Faith somehow managed to unlock the front door for the paramedics when they arrived. (ABC News)

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PRACTICE CONVERTING KITTENS FIRST
A Taiwanese man who is taking his Christianity a bit too seriously escaped with only minor wounds after trying to convert two lions to his religion. According to the China Post, Chen Chung-ho, 46, jumped into the lion’s enclosure at the Taipei City Zoo and began shouting “Jesus will save you!” and “Come bite me!” Having been fed earlier in the day, the lion’s first ignored the lunatic, but eventually the cats got annoyed and attacked him, repeatedly biting his arms and legs. After about 30 minutes zoo staff were able to get the lions off the man with water cannons. (China Post)

HARD NEWS
According to a story from Pravda which I suspect was made up by a bored writer, a vibrating condom was this year’s most interesting new creation at an international invention show held in Geneva a few months ago. Pravda claims that Japanese inventors created the new sex toy by combining a conventional condom with a vibrating plastic ring at its base. The manufacturers have enlisted a group of porn stars to test the device before mass production begins. According to this story, the vibrating condom narrowly beat out the anti-hemorrhoid chair at the invention fair. Meanwhile, in Romania, a 43-year-old man was forced to seek medical attention after he superglued a condom to his penis because it was too large to stay on by itself. “He even said that he thought the condom could be used several times and that he wanted it stuck on his penis so he could use it again later,” said the nurse who treated him, “We barely managed to remove it in the end.” (Pravda / Daily Times)

THIS TIME TWO YEARS FROM NOW, LET’S ANNOY EACH OTHER WITH OUR IRRITATING IDIOSYNCRACIES
Trying to help stop a population crisis and rejuvenate stagnating birth rates in Japan, a team of sociologists and psychiatrists have come up with the very best pick up line in the Japanese language. “Rainen no kono hi mo issho ni waratteiy-oh” literally translates as “This time next year, let’s be laughing together.” Although I think a better line is “Hi, my name is Brad Pitt”, the team who came up with this one claim that it works because saying “this time next year” indicates the man is looking beyond a one-night fling, while “together” and “laughing” make the line “soft, romantic, and fresh.” Good luck, guys! (Ananova)

OOH, THAT’S SCARY, BOYS AND GIRLS
A high school student in Grand Rapids, Michigan walked away with the top prize at his school’s halloween party last week — plus a five-day suspension — for wearing what was deemed the scariest costume of the night, a full-on white-hooded Ku Klux Klan getup. (AP)