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March 9, 2000


MAYDAY2K

Preparations are underway for May 1, 2000, International Day of Action Against the Capitalist System. Locally, the BC Day of Action will be April 29, with the March Against Corporate Rule leaving at 12 noon from the south end of the Burrard St. Bridge and ending at the Vancouver Sun and Province offices at Granville Plaza. For more info on "MayDay2K" hit www.indymedia.org.


YEAH, I REMEMBER BUYING HIS VOTE

Last week's episode of This Hour Has 22 Minutessaw Rick Mercer badgering U.S. Presidential candidate George W. Bush. Mercer told him that Canadian Prime Minister Jean "Poutine" was endorsing Bush for the Republican leadership race. Bush said he was "honoured" to have Poutine's support.


MORE BRILLIANT BUSH-ISMS

A Meanwhile, at an elementary school in Nashua, N.H., which was celebrating "Perserverance Month", Bush told students, "I appreciate preservation. This is what you do when you run for President. You've got to preserve." At another campaign stop, he followed this up with his thoughts on growing up during the cold war (it's only March, but I have a feeling this will be quote of the year): "When I was coming up, it was a dangerous world and you knew exactly who 'they' were. It was us versus them and it was clear who them was. Today we are not so sure who the 'they' are, but we know they're there." (Reuters)


HOW DO THEY HOLD THE JOINT BETWEEN THEIR LITTLE CLAWS?

Dr. Ismael Galve-Roperh and his team at Complutense University in Madrid have been testing the effect of tetrahydrocannibinol (THC, the psychoactive ingredient in marijuana) on glioma (a type of brain tumour) in rats. The tumour was eliminated in a third of the rats, and another third lived an extra six weeks. (Sightings)


AT LEAST YOU WON'T DIE FROM A BRAIN TUMOUR

Researchers at Harvard claim that the risk of having a heart attack is five times higher an hour after smoking marijuana. That's approximately twice as dangerous as having sex or getting into a heated argument, they say, but not nearly as dangerous as doing cocaine, which increases your chance of having a heart attack 25-fold. Marijuana may not even be as dangerous as going for a jog may be for a sedentary person, the researchers added. (Sightings)


WHO NEEDS AN ALIBI?

When 88-year-old Deo Dubbs was arrested for drug possession, he readily admitted guilt. "I really have nothing else to do," he told police, "I get lonely and get tired of watching the tube." (UPI)


ASK THEM IF THEY'RE CONSPIRING AGAINST US

Bill Northern, a retired Virginia businessman, has discovered a new vocation: animal communicator. His business is doing very well, as he lets animal owners know what their pets are thinking. "I talk mostly to horses because horse owners are the most interested in what their animals are thinking," he says. "Once, I talked to some fish in a fishpond, but there's not a lot going on in a fish's mind. Food, food, food, that's about it." He's got plenty more wisdom of that nature, like on the difference between dogs and cats: "If you're late bringing their food...dogs think 'What did I do wrong to deserve this late meal'...cats will think, 'dinner's late, I better go kill something!'" (Honolulu Star-Bulletin)


FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH

There's no science to back this up, but according to Katrina Scott, Assistant Director of Sports Marketing at the University of Maryland, anti-perspirants may be a leading cause of breast cancer in women. In a letter to Nexus,she writes: "Anti-perspirant...prevents you from perspiring, thereby prohibiting the body from purging toxins from below the armpits. These toxins do not just magically disappear. Instead, the body deposits them in the lymph nodes below the arms, since it cannot sweat them out...Nearly all breast cancer tumours occur in the upper outside quadrant of the breast area. this is precisely where the lymph nodes are located...men are less likely...to develop breast cancer...because most of the anti-perspirant product is caught in the hair and is not directly applied to the skin...Women who apply anti-perspirant right after shaving increase the risk further, because shaving causes almost imperceptible nicks in the skin which give the chemicals entrance into the body from the armpit area."


DON'T DRINK THE WATER

The CBS news program 60 Minutesrecently reported on the gasoline additive MTBE (methyl tertiary butyl ether) in our drinking water. MTBE is a cancer-causing agent that has been added to gasoline since 1990 in order to make gas burn cleaner and help protect air quality. Unfortunately, the chemical regularly seeps from leaky underground storage tanks into groundwater, thereby polluting a large percentage of North America's drinking water.


HOW TO DRAW SATAN

An elementary school in Las Vegas is considering pulling a book of the shelves of its libraries after complaints from the Rev. Russ Daines, pastor of the El Camino Southern Baptist Church. The book, Draw 50 Monsters, teaches students to draw caricatures of the devil, including the characters "B.L. Zeebub" and "Lewis E. Furr." (Las Vegas Sun)


VIRGIN FOR SALE

An internet prankster from Hungary posted a naked picture of a young girl on his website, stating that she was willing to lose her virginity for a "fair sum of money." The man then posted the names, phone numbers, e-mail addresses and letters of the 13 highest bidders. "Those who didn't realize that it was a joke should suffer," he said. (Reuters)


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Copyright 2000 by Andreas Ohrt (604) 803-7485
Email:aohrt@hotmail.com
Website:www.curioustimes.com