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Curious Times No. 259
August 26, 2004

HOLD YOUR NOSE AND VOTE
A few weeks ago I wrote about the moral dilemma of the Green Party candidate for vice-president who thought she probably wouldn’t vote for herself, but rather for someone who could take down George Bush. Now we learn that the Dubya factor will even be bringing hardcore anarchists to the polling booth. Attendees at the North American Anarchist Convergence held at Ohio University last week debated a proposal to vote for the first time in their lives in order to help defeat Bush in November. One anarchist, who emphasized that she believes that the U.S. government is neither legitimate nor democratic, still said that this year she would cast a ballot, saying “there was a time when I was not going to vote, but I really dislike Bush.” Even the editor of the 3,000-circulation magazine Social Anarchism is bowing to the democratic process. “I will certainly vote against George Bush because he is leading the nation to further violence and eroding civil liberties,” said Howard. Ehrlich. Other anarchists were not impressed with the direction of the debate. “Ultimately, those who are voting are either bad anarchists or not anarchists at all,” said a 40-something Californian man, “no one can represent my interests. We reject political professionals.” (Yahoo News)

THERE’S NO ESCAPE FROM A SELF-FULFILLING PROPHECY
A superstitious Romanian man who was so frightened of something bad happening on Friday the 13th that he took the day of work and refused to leave his house ended up being killed by a rare poisonous wasp in his home. Florin Carcu, 54, had booked the day off work in order to stay within the safe confines of his home. His boss told police “It was the strangest request I’ve ever received but I ended up giving him permission to stay at home because he seemed to be really scared of something bad happening to him on that day.” Emergency doctors said that Carcu died on the spot while making himself a cup of coffee, having been stung by a rare species of wasp nicknamed “the wolf.” (AFP)

DUMP THE MARRIAGE COUNSELOR, BRING ON THE PORN
I’m sure readers of this column don’t need much convincing, but a study out of Australia has concluded that pornography is actually good for you. The survey of over 1000 porn users found that 90 per cent believed that watching porn made them more attentive to their partners, more accepting of their sexuality, and less judgmental of body shapes. The study also concluded that these healthier attitudes toward sex actually makes relationships and marriages stronger. “It teaches people to be more relaxed about their sexuality and marriages were healthier, while porn makes people think about another person’s pleasure...the more we try and turn porn into something that’s seen to be bad and has to be kept away from families, the more problems we might be causing for ourselves,” said lead researcher Alan McKee. (The Australian)

FOR THOSE ABOUT TO CROAK, WE SALUTE YOU WITH A CHEAP COFFIN
Hey, the next time you head down to Cosco to haul back a ton of food you might also be able to pick up enough caskets for the whole family. Won’t they be surprised! Cosco has announced that it is entering the coffin-selling business with $800 caskets lining the aisles near the mattress section. For now, caskets are only available at at a couple of stores near Chicago, but no doubt they will soon sell coffins at every location. The company claims you will be able to save over 30 percent on funeral costs by buying one of their caskets instead of a more traditional funeral home. I suspect Ikea will soon start selling coffins which your grieving family members can easily slap together with an allen key after you croak. (CBS)

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CELEBRITY HAS ITS PERKS, BUT THIS ISN’T ONE OF THEM
The drummer for The Darkness granted an unusual request last week from a fan who asked him to sign the crotch of his grandmother’s recently-deceased pet dog. Apparently the fan told Ed Graham that he had been estranged from his grandmother and that he could only achieve peace of mind if he would autograph the dog. For some reason which wasn’t explained, the autograph also had to be on the most awkward part of the dog’s anatomy. The Darkness’ drummer explained that “When she died she left him the dog. He said: ‘If you to sign it, then I might be able to make peace’, so I signed its testicles.” (sky.com)

PRISONERS TO BAD TASTE
A German company has plans to sell the “authentic jail experience” to tourists looking for something just a little bit different. For about $120 you’ll be able to spend a night in the notorious Hoheneck castle, the largest women’s prison in former East Germany, where thousands of political dissidents suffered torture and repression at the hands of the communist government. The tour company claims that they are “offering people the chance to re-live the past first hand instead of just reading about it in dry history books,” but former Hoheneck prisoners vehemently disagree and have started a campaign to halt the project. Along with the support of thousands of Germans who have protested the move, the International Society for Human Rights has also stepped in to help stop the plan. “It’s simply unacceptable to turn a prison into a holiday resort,” said spokesperson Karl Hafen, “no one would dream of reconstructing a former Nazi crime scene and marketing it as a historical experience...but it seems as far as nostalgia for East Germany’s Communist past is concerned, anything goes.” (Reuters)

BUT EVEN A TORSO CAN HIRE A LAWYER TO SUE YOUR DUMB ASS
A wheelchair-bound woman with no limbs is taking Air France to court after she was barred from her flight from England to New York by a gate agent who told her that torso’s can’t fly. Adele Price, 42, is now seeking restitution to cover the psychological damage caused by the discrimination as well as financial compensation as she was forced to pay for the airfare and lodging for a companion to fly with her. According to the suit, she was stopped by a gate agent who told her “a head, one bottom and a torso cannot possibly fly on its own.” (Reuters)