BAD PRESIDENT
There is a great website titled "Just So You Know" which lists dozens of unsavory facts about George W. Bush which American voters should keep in mind during next November’s elections. Among the many obscene tidbits, these glaring issues: I attacked and took over 2 countries; I spent the U.S. surplus and bankrupted the US Treasury; I shattered the record for the biggest annual deficit in history; I cut unemployment benefits for more out-of-work Americans than any other president in US history; I appointed more convicted criminals to administration positions than any president in US history; I set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously take to the streets to protest me (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind; I dissolved more international treaties than any president in US history; I withdrew from the World Court of Law; I am the first president in US history to refuse United Nations election inspectors access during the 2002 US elections; I have removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any other president in US history; members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in US history (the poorest multimillionaire, Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her). Get all the grim details at http://home.earthlink.net/~robx/Bush/Bush.html

AT LEAST WE KNOW THEY WON’T TURN IT INTO A LAME HOLLYWOOD ACTION FILM
Every great artist knows that when the creative well runs dry, it never hurts to pull out a cheap gimmick to get them talking about you again. And so we have the first novel ever written entirely without verbs. A Frenchman writing under the pseudynom Michel Thaler has released "Le Train de Nulle Part" (The Train From Nowhere), a novel which is sorely lacking in action and relies instead upon angry passages of adjectives to describe dislikeable commuters on a train. Unfortunately, the author's interview about the release of the novel was much more interesting the book itself. "My book is a revolution in the history of literature," claimed Thaler, who described verbs as "invaders, dictators, and usurpers of our literature." He added that "the verb is like a weed in a field of flowers...you have to get rid of it to allow the flowers to grow and flourish." (Telegraph)

BUT THOSE ALIMONY PAYMENTS ARE MURDER
An 80-year-old Indian man who has been married 90 times is looking for 10 more wives in order to crack the 100-marriage mark. But surprisingly, he isn’t doing it to get into the record books. Udaynath Dakshiniray has married 90 women from poor families and given each of them at least five acres of land. He says his quest for 100 wives is a social mission. "In a country where unmarrieds are looked down upon in society, I marry them to help them overcome social stigma and harassment." He says he still has about 400 acres of land which he wishes to distribute to the poor. (Ananova)

SLEEPWALKING OUT OF YOUR LIFE
There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but a German woman found yet another when she pretended to be sleepwalking and left her husband in the middle of the night never to return. Her husband called the police after he woke up to an empty bed, and a full police search began in order to find the missing "sleepwalker." The case was solved later that afternoon when the woman was found at her friend's apartment, saying that she had simply decided to leave her husband. (Ananova)

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SCOOP YOUR POOP OR FACE VIGILANTE JUSTICE
Well at least there is one way to get dog owners to clean up after their mutts. Residents of a condominium complex in Scottsdale, Arizona are now cleaning up every last scrap of their dog's feces after some psycho shot a dog with a pellet gun and distributed flyers around the complex warning his neighbours that their dogs would be shot if he saw any of their crap on the ground. "I am sorry to say effective immediatley (sic), your dog will be shot on the spot if you do not pick up his dog shit," read the note. "I will be in a bush/a tree/car/van/window. Consider yourself warned!!! I am sick of looking at dog shit all over this property. It’s simple. Your dog will live if you pick-up (sic), die if you don't."(Arizona Republic)

THIS STORY WOULD BE MORE INTERESTING IF THEY WERE BLOOD-SUCKING KILLER BUGS
The bizarre lifecycle of the cicadas is about to cause the largest insect invasion ever recorded on Earth as trillions of the flying bugs are set to emerge from their underground lairs for a short bout of hot insect sex before they all die and begin the cycle again. Scientists are eager to study the strange ritual, as the cicada emerge only once every 13 or 17 years for their mating frenzy. Huge portions of the eastern coast of America are bracing for the swarm, which will see trillions of the bugs emerge from the ground. Although the insects are harmless to humans, the mating call of trillions of them can get very annoying, and the smell of their decaying corpses can be a bit rank. On the bright side, cicadas have no defenses making them easy prey, and supposedly they taste like canned asparagus. The next swarm of cicadas is not due until 2021. (BBC)

TWO GRAND WON’T EVEN PAY FOR ITS STINKY DIAPERS
The Australian government is asking its citizens to have lots of sex and create many more babies in order to keep up the nation's population. Peter Costello, Australia’s treasurer, created a benefits package which includes over $2000 for each baby born after June 2004. "If you can have children it's a good thing to do," said Costello. "You should have...one for your husband, one for your wife, and one for your country." He also recommended that many Australians need to have extra babies to make up for their friends who "aren't even replicating themselves."He finished his press conference by urging everyone to go home and screw. "You go home and do your patriotic duty tonight,"he urged. (Reuters)