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Curious Times No. 241
April 22, 2004ONE TOO MANY HITS OFF THAT BONG
Despite the recent reports that acid use is way down among today’s teenagers, a 15-year-old in Lansing, Illinois, still managed to see the face of Jesus in his lava lamp. As Doug Gehring watched the wax in his lava lamp swirl around on Palm Sunday, he began to notice it begin to take the shape of his favourite saviour. "I turned it on and I saw it," Doug said. "My heart kept beating. I was so surprised about it. It was just awesome. I wasn’t scared. It was just amazing." According to Doug’s family, the wax swirled into a reddish-purple spiral shape around a flesh-coloured image of Jesus’ face looking down, complete with a brown beard and the crown of thorns. Doug quickly turned off the lamp in order to preserve the shape, and is now showing off to his friends and neighbours. "Everyone just kind of gasps and then they say they get goosebumps or the chills," said Doug’s mom. (thetimesonlin.com)HELL’S KITCHEN IS MISSING IT’S TOASTER
Not to be outdone by Jesus, Satan has also been putting in his share of unusual appearances. According to the Weekly World News, a housewife in Missouri claims that the toaster she bought at a yard sale burns the image of Satan into every slice of bread she tries to toast. Hester Alliser barely remembers purchasing the toaster, and can only recall that the people at the yard sale were "strange," and the man she bought it from had "weird eyes." On her first attempt to try out new toaster, she claims the toast began smoking like crazy, and when she pulled it out, the toast was scorched with wicked faces with horns. She told reporters, "No matter how much toast I make or how long I heat it, the Devil turns up on every piece." (Weekly World News)HOW TO GIVE A RAT A WOODY
We may not be able to cure diseases, or clean up the environment, or create alternative energy sources, or have world peace, but at least we can figure out how to give a rat an erection. It’s just a matter of where our priorities are! Pharmaceutical researchers have announced progress in the next-generation of erectile dysfunction drugs, claiming that they have discovered the precise mechanism by which they can stimulate erections in rats without any dangerous side effects. This, they say, will enable them to create new drugs which will be able to help men who were at risk taking drugs such as Viagra, which can cause headaches and heartburn, and is dangerous for people taking heart medications. (Reuters)DON’T INVITE INSTANT KARMA TO YOUR DRIVE-BY SHOOTING
More proof that’s it’s hard to find good help. An attempted drive-by shooting in California went drastically wrong last week when the man firing a semi-automatic gun out the passenger window accidently shot the driver of the car during the attack. Richard Eppard, 20, fled the vehicle after accidently shooting and killing his buddy, resulting in the car crashing. According to police, whoever he was actually trying to shoot remained unscathed. (AP)NEXT TIME USE THE BANK MACHINE
A woman in Santiago is suing the bank where she withdrew £9,000 ($16,000) and quickly lost it to two thieves. Isabel Barros claims that she was robbed thanks to a clerk in the bank who shouted out "Who is the lady for the £9,000?" She says the clerk then went ahead and loudly counted out the money for her. A few moments later, outside of the bank, two men in suits held her up and quickly relieved her of her cash. She claims that the men were inside the bank when the clerk was giving her the money. (Ananova)HOOKING PEOPLE ON LEGAL DRUGS IS QUITE THE LUCRATIVE RACKET
It may be obvious to the rest of us, but scientists have now explained how Starbucks has managed to ensnare it’s vast hordes of consumers. According to a study reported in the Wall Street Journal, the coffee Starbucks brews has over twice as much caffeine as an average cup of coffee. The research found that their 16-ounce cup contains 223 milligrams of caffeine, an average of 56% more caffeine than that brewed at 7-Eleven, and double the amount of caffeine in an average grocery store brand of coffee. The researchers concluded that the excessive caffeine has caused those hooked on Starbucks to develop a "physical dependency" (they save the word "addiction" for stronger drugs like heroin) causing them to suffer withdrawal symptoms such as headache, drowsiness and difficulty concentrating if they don’t get their morning fix. (Wall Street Journal) /IN CASE SANTA NEEDS HELP DELIVERING COAL TO BAD BOYS AND GIRLS
A Scarborough, UK, man has won his seventh title at the World Coal Carrying Championships. The competition was created in the 1960s after two coalmen tried to settle an argument about which one of them could run the fastest with a sack of coal on his back. The competition has since evolved in an annual event in which competitors carry a 50 kg sack of coal along a grueling 1,108-yard course. John Hunter, 40, who this year won his record-tying seventh title, completed the course in four minutes and 28 seconds. "I’ve been coming here since I was 26 and I just don’t know where the time has gone," says John. "It definitely gets harder each year and I thought my legs were going to give way on the run-in." He promised to be back next year to defend his title. (Yorkshire Evening Post)UGGGH....
Horrific news out of Angola, where human rights workers report a brutal epidemic of vicious attacks on so-called "child witches." 27 years of intense warfare in that country has scarred its people with post traumatic stress disorder so severe that many are lashing out in mindless and inexplicable violent behaviour. The worst victims of this trend are children as young as five years old who are accused of sorcery and witchcraft, and then either banished from their villages and left to fend from themselves, or beaten, tortured and killed. Human right’s advocates have reported young children being hanged, stoned to death, raped, burned and drowned. "Many of the thousands of street children across Angola are probably victims of this trend," said Matondo Alexandre, a child-protection expert with the United Nations. (Chicago Tribune)
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