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Curious Times No. 239
April 8, 2004WE’LL KNOW IT WORKS WHEN THE DRUG COMPANIES PATENT YOUR SNOT
If modern medicine hasn’t cure what ails you but you can’t quite stomach the idea of trying something as unorthodox as urine therapy, it might be time to consider picking your nose and eating your boogers. An Austrian doctor, Professor Friedrich Bischinger, claims that people who pick their nose and eat it are healthier, happier, and more in tune with their bodies. He claims that the nose is a natural filter for various bacteria, which is true enough, but goes on to suggest that eating this mass of gunk will stimulate the intestines like a powerful medicine which strengthens the immune system. "Modern medicine is constantly trying to do the same thing through far more complicated methods," says the doctor. "People who pick their nose and eat it get a natural boost to their immune system for free." (Ananova)IT’S THE ECONOMY, STUPID
Check out a very fascinating article at www.progress.org titled "10 Things You Don’t Know About Terrorism." In it, Loretta Napoleoni, author of the book "Modern Jihad: Tracing the Dollars Behind the Terror Networks," argues that global terrorism is now and has always been a huge mafia-style business and has been allowed to run rampant because of the huge profits being made by those at the tops of the networks (including many westerners and Americans, of course). Among the 10 ten things you don’t know about terrorism are these nuggets: America and the Soviet Union privatized most terrorist cells during the cold war in order to reduce the price of fighting covert wars; the "terror economy" is bigger than the GDP of the United Kingdom and is growing faster than the US economy; money laundering schemes which fund terrorists actually prop up western capitalism with huge reserves of cash; 9/11 was one of the greatest insider-trading events in modern history; and terrorism is such good business that nobody really wants to eradicate it. Get all the details at http://www.progress.orgTHAT EXPLAINS THE LACK OF TOURISTS
Beware the unscrupulous travel agent who sold you those tickets to Molvania. Despite the recently published travel guide which calls it "the land untouched by modern dentistry," the small Eastern European country does not actually exist. "It’s a bit of a practical joke that got out of hand," said Tom Gleisner, one of author’s of the guide which is actually a spoof of more traditional travel guides. According to the book, Molvania is the spiritual home of the polka and whooping cough, and includes must-see tourist destinations such as a circa-1950s nuclear reactor complete with cracked walls and a zoo which houses 1,000 animals all crammed into one cage. The guidebook also includes a few handy Molvanian phrases such as "Sprufki Doh Craszko," which means "What is that smell," and "Togurfga trakij sdonchskia," which translates as "What happened to your teeth?" (Reuters)AND YOU THOUGHT SHE WAS JUST PLAYING HARD TO GET
Okay guys, listen up... The next time a woman you meet in a chat room tells you she wants you to come over and rape her in order to fulfill some twisted fantasy, do yourself a huge favour and make sure you get the address right. Duh! Not heeding this most obvious of advice is going to cost a Californian man a year in prison after he met a woman in a chat room and set up a "rape fantasy" encounter which would have the man break into her home and have his way with her. Unfortunately, the man broke into the wrong apartment and tried to rape a woman who had no idea who he was and proceeded to fight back by viciously attacking his testicles (you go girl!). The man then stopped the attack and after a few awkward moments he realized the incredible gaffe he had made. (Reuters)SO DROP OUT OF COLLEGE AND START BANGING AWAY
A German researcher from the Hamburg Medical Research Institute claims that regular sex makes people more intelligent. According to his research, increased amounts of adrenaline and cortisol hormones stimulate your brain during sex, potentially increasing your intelligence, while an added injection of endorphins and serotonin during an orgasm helps strengthens your self confidence. (iol.co.za)THE SIDE EFFECTS OF MESSING WITH YOUR PENIS
A couple of new studies suggest that taking Viagra or having a vasectomy reversed both negatively affect the fertility of men. A study at Queen’s University in Northern Ireland found that Viagra seems to cause a vital reaction needed for sperm to penetrate an egg to occur prematurely, thereby reducing the chance of pregnancy. A different study from the British Fertility Society found that men who have reversed vasectomies have significantly lower sperm counts. The study found that men with reversed vasectomies had about a third less sperm than usual. (New Scientist / Reuters) (New Scientist / Reuters)ACID DROPPERS DROPPING
A team of researchers at the University of Michigan which has been tracking the illicit drug habits of America’s high-school students since 1975 has discovered an enormous drop in the popularity of LSD amongst today’s youths. As recently as 2001, 6.6 per cent of high school seniors reported dropping acid. This figure fell to 3.5 per cent in 2002, and plummeted to 1.9 in 2003. While the Federal Drug Enforcement Agency is taking credit for the demise of LSD, claiming that two arrests in November of 2000 reduced the LSD supply by up to 95 per cent, most analysts agree that the decline of LSD began the day that Jerry Garcia died in 1995. Apparently, the traveling roadshow of the Grateful Dead was the glue which kept the nation’s network of LSD users and dealers connected. While the band Phish kept the party going for a few more years, after they stopped touring in 2000 figures for acid use began to plummet. (Slate)
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