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Curious Times No. 237
March 25, 2004YOUR 5000th BIRTHDAY BASH WILL BE QUITE THE PARTY!
A professor at Michigan State University claims that new advances in science could enable humans to live at least a few centuries and perhaps up to 5000 years. Michael Fossel, clinical professor of medicine and author of the book “Cells, Ageing and Human Disease” says that the technology exists to turn back the entire ageing process. At a longevity conference in Sydney, Australia, Fossel explained that experiments have already been able to “reset” the clock of skin cells. “What we essentially do is reset the cells to do what they used to do when you were young,” he said. “We don’t change them...we just reset them to do exactly what they did decades prior to what they’re doing now.” He added that these experiments have worked perfectly in the lab, and suggests that cells could just as easily be reset in a person’s heart, enabling them to live indefinitely. “There’s a guy at Cambridge who says it’s 5000 years,” said Fossel, when asked about the limit of human life, “I’d say it probably would be a couple of centuries but the way I often described the limit is indefinite, because really I don’t know.” (Agence France-Presse)MAYBE HE’S NEARSIGHTED
China’s government is officially debunking the myth that the Great Wall can be seen from space after their country’s first person in space, Yang Liwei, returned to Earth last year and broke the bad news that he couldn’t see a damn thing from up there. The myth of the Great Wall has been published in Chinese elementary school textbooks for many decades, but now the publisher has been asked to remove the great lie from the books. Stating the obvious, a Beijing official said “having this falsehood printed in our elementary school textbooks is probably the main cause of the misconception being so widely spread.” (BBC)SICK OF YOUR JOB?
Here’s some paranoia-inducing news for all your germophobes out there. You might want to quit your job after learning that a study from the University of Arizona has found that office work stations are infested with about 400 times as many germs and microbes as the average toilet seat. The study found 3,894 germs per square centimetre living on telephones, 511 on keyboards and 260 on computer mice. “Desks are really bacteria cafeterias,” said researcher Charles Gerba. “They are breakfast bars, lunch tables and everything else...when someone is infected with a cold or flu bug, the surfaces they touch during the day become germ transfer points because some cold and flu viruses can survive on surfaces for up to 72 hours - an office can become an incubator.” (ABC News)I’VE MASTURBATED EVERY DAY SINCE 1976, IS THAT WORTH ANYTHING?
The unofficial Curious Times world record for world’s most radical dude has been claimed by Dale Webster, 55, who must have been smoking some very sweet ganga all those years ago when he vowed to surf every day for the next 28 years. On February 29, 1976, Webster told his friends his totally awesome plan to surf every day until Leap Day once again fell on the fifth Sunday of February, which happened just last month. But instead of coming down and eating an entire pizza and a couple of chocolate bars and then forgetting his hair-brained scheme, he actually followed through. In total, Webster has surfed 10,407 consecutive days, having entered the record books in January of 2003 after hitting the 10,000-day mark. (Ananova)HE HURT HIS HAND FOR YOUR SINS
Now that Jesus is being popularized yet again, seems like everyone wants in on the action. But a man in Harland, Maine, chose to recreate the worst possible event from Jesus’ life when he decided to commit suicide by nailing himself to a home-made crucifix. Police said that the 23-year-old man had been seeing pictures of God on his computer, then went ahead and nailed two pieces of wood together on the floor of his living room. After scrawling the world “suicide” on the cross, he proceeded to nail down one of his hands. According to police, the man was forced to dial 911 after he realized that he wouldn’t be able to nail his other hand to the board. Police also added that they weren’t sure if the man called 911 to get assistance with his injury or to get help in nailing his other hand down. They decided to take him to hospical and remove the cross from his arm. (Maine Press Herald)WORLD ORGASM DAY CUMING SOON
Here’s you first notice for the upcoming Sixth Annual World Orgasm Day next August 8. World Orgasm Day promises to bring “the whole world joining together to celebrate orgasm...solo, in couples, in groups...monosexually, bisexually, homosexually, heterosexually...whatever the method, focusing on positive energy celebration!” Start practicing now if you want to help bring ecstacy to the world, says the website, at www.angelfire.com/vt/alexigloo/owo.html.DEAR POLICE, PLEASE SEND ME TO JAIL
A serial rapist in Louisville, Kentucky, faces up to 420 years in prison after evading police for over 10 years. Police finally received the break they needed when John Boston, 41, sent a letter to the police, taunting them and bragging about his crime spree. Investigators proceeded to extract DNA evidence from the saliva on the envelope, matched it to the DNA evidence from three rape victims, and made the arrest. (Louisville Channel)USELESS STAT OF THE WEEK
According to some dumb survey in Esquire magazine, 45 per cent of married women would allow their husbands to have sex with Nicole Kidman. (Wireless Flash)
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