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Curious Times No. 232
February 19, 2004SATAN THE ARSONIST
According to an exorcist in the small Italian town of Caronia, Lucifer himself is responsible for a strange rash of fires and explosions which have plagued that town since mid-January. Thirty-nine inhabitants of the town have been evacuated as a team of experts has descended upon Caronia to find the exact cause of series of spontaneous combustions which have hit washing machines, dishwashers, refrigerators, electricity meters and cables. Electrical problems have been ruled out, as the town has been without power since Jan. 4. Arson has also been ruled out, as many people have witnessed the sudden fires with their own eyes. Last Monday, a chair burst into flames and a water pipe caught fire. The mayor of Caronia admitted that "I have no idea what is going on," while the regional civil defense chief gave his best guess, saying that the fires must be caused by "a dispersion of electrical energy, but the origin of the presumed dispersion has yet to be determined". The only person who dares speak the truth is the honourary president of the International Association of Exorcists, Father Gabriele Amorth, who explained that the devil was obviously loose in the town. "What is happening is what normally happens when the devil enters the lives of those who let him in," he explained, "The priest of the parish ought today to go and bless all the houses that have witnessed paranormal phenomena, because that is what they are." (The Guardian)BABY JESUS AND A SMALL NUMBER OF JUST-AVERAGE PEOPLE
A committee from the Church of England has recommended replacing the phrase "three wise men" in the King James bible to the properly translated term "Magi." The committee also revealed that the word Magi does not refer to three wise men, but is simply a translation of the name used by officials at the Persian court at the time of Jesus’ birth, and could refer to any number of people of undetermined gender and intelligence. "Magi is a word which discloses nothing about numbers, wisdom or gender embodied in the term," said a spokesperson for the Church of England, adding that "the visitors were not necessarily wise and not necessarily men." (Reuters)EIGHT GLASSES OF WATER (OR COFFEE, OR BEER, WHATEVER)
Another new study has debunked the myth that we need to drink eight glasses of water each day. Despite the common advice, it turns out that common sense and human instinct are enough to keep the body from becoming dehydrated. Panelists from the Institute of Medicine in Washington and Health Canada released what they call "the definitive report on human hydration," and concluded that the need for eight glasses of water is a myth, saying that the body’s fluid needs are also met by drinking milk, juice, soup, beer and coffee. The nutritionists also stated that the belief that beer and coffee draw fluid from the body is also a myth, saying that is has "very, very little if any diuretic effect." The committee concluded that it is best simply to listen to your body and let your thirst guide you. In short, drink when you’re thirsty. Duh! (CBC)HAVE YOU SEEN THESE BOOBS?
An Italian woman who went for the super-size deal at her plastic surgeon’s office by ordering the largest possible breast enlargement a human can receive is now being hunted by police after skipping out on the bill. How she was able to run away with brand new boobs that must have weighed about 10 pounds each hasn’t been explained, but officers are confident that her insanely large breasts will easily give her away. The woman fled the private hospital in Rome two hours after getting the world’s largest breasts, leaving an unpaid tab of almost $10,000. (sky.com)THIS ONE-TIME OFFER WILL NOT BE REPEATED
An 18-year-old University of Bristol student who auctioned off her virginity on the internet has promised to fulfill her end of the deal despite a police investigation into the legality of her actions. Rosie Reid received over 400 offers before finally closing the sale last Sunday with a whopping bid of $16,000. A spokesperson for the police investigating the auction said "I think it’s probably illegal because it’s like soliciting, but we are taking legal advice over the matter." Unfazed, Reid is planning on consummating the deal in order to pay off her student loans. (BBS)THIS IS YOUR CAR ON SPEED
The world’s most expensive speeding ticket has been handed out to one of Finland’s richest men. Jussi Salonoja, 27, was slapped with a $217,000 fine after being caught driving 50 miles per hour in a 25 mph zone. According to Finnish law, traffic fines are calculated as a percentage of a person’s yearly income, and Salonoja is loaded, having inherited millions from his family’s sausage business. Meanwhile, in Britain, a driver is facing a court date despite an obvious clerical error which issued him a speeding fine for driving over 406 miles per hour. Peter O’Flynn, who was driving a Peugeot with a top speed of 129 mph at the time, said "I rarely speed and it’s safe to say I’ll contest this." (Reuters / The Sun UK)IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT YOU’RE SICK
Despite assertions by scientists that astrology is a bunch of bunk, medical research worldwide has discovered that the month of your birth can predispose you to certain diseases and illnesses. For example, narcolepsy is most common among those born in March, dyslexia is most common in those born in May and June, anorexia is most common among those born in June, and diabetes is more common among those born in August. Scientists suspect that changing environmental factors throughout the year must be the cause of these findings, but a cause-and-effect relationship cannot be pinned down. "Environmental factors are very difficult to study and are very speculative," says Dr. Emmanuel Mignot, professor of psychiatry at Stanford University, "It’s nearly impossible to find out what could be involved, like finding a needle in a haystack." The strongest evidence links schizophrenia with those born between January and March. (ABC News)
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