home archives links join e-mail list spam me!
Curious Times No. 227
January 15, 2004LOW FAT DOUGHNUTS ARE JUST AN URBAN LEGEND
In yet another case of life-imitating-Seinfeld, the owner of a company which sold low-fat doughnuts is facing 15 months in prison after an analysis by the Food and Drug Administration found that his product was not low fat at all, but actually standard doughnuts, fat-drenched and calorie-rich. It turns out that health-food executvie Robert LIgon, 68, was actually buying regular doughnuts from a Chicago bakery and repackaging them as a diet product and slapping on a 200 per cent mark-up before selling them to various weight-loss centers. According to the FDA, the packaging promised a doughnut with only three grams of fat and 135 calories, but delivered a whopping 18 grams of fat and 530 calories per doughnut. The scam began to unravel when dieters began filing complaints with the FDA, claiming that the doughnuts tasted too good to be low-fat. Jim Dahl, the investigator from the FDA, agreed, saying "If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is...Science can do a lot of things, but we’re not quite there yet." (Wall Street Journal)THE PRICE OF HAPPINESS
Money may not be able to buy happiness, but $4.8 million will buy most people everything they think they will need in order to be happy. A recent online survey carried out by Yahoo! found that the average person would need almost five million dollars to live his or her dream lifestyle, including buying their dream home, their dream car, and taking all kinds of tropical vacations. The survey also found that women are slightly more demanding than men, and also that people want more goodies as they get older. Of the 2,500 people surveyed, over 45 per cent defined their dream lifestyle as being a playboy or playgirl, constantly partying, jet-setting and buying expensive toys. (The Scotsman)SATAN’S ON A CRIME SPREE
Oh, how the mighty have fallen. It seems that Lucifer, once considered the most evil being on Earth, has sunk to petty crime in small town America. Police in Slidell, Louisiana arrested a man who identified himself as Lucifer, Prince of Darkness, last week after he was caught burglarizing vehicles in a church parking lot. They report that Lucifer had the strength of many men, as it took four deputies, a baton, pepper spray and a Taser gun to take him down. Lucifer is described as a white male, 6’3", 225 pounds, brown hair, brown eyes, and between 38 and 50 years old. What, no horns and pitchfork? (slidellsentry.com)AND THE GOLD MEDAL FOR BEING A JEALOUS PRICK GOES TO
While some Olympic trainers ban their athletes from having sex before events in case their energy is drained, the Chinese national ping-pong head coach has gone one step further by forbidding his players to fall in love between now and the Olympic games later this year. The coach, Cai Zhenhua, made the bizarre announcement after kicking three athletes off the national team because he believed their romances were affecting their training and performance. He went on to warn some of his other athletes that they too had a "problem with falling in love," and urged them to change their ways and shape up in time for the Olympic games. (South China Morning Post)HOW TO MAKE A ZOMBIE
The internet is such a great source of information for any of your hair-brained schemes. For example, the next time you want to create your own zombie (apparently you can make good cash by selling them into slavery) just type "how to make a zombie" into your search engine for various recipes. Here’s a simple one I found: one freshly, almost dead, person; some human bone and flesh;several varieties of exotic plants; a few reptiles; one type of worm; a centipede; a special type of spider; a puffer fish (for the most important ingredient: a powerful toxin called tetrodotoxin.) Good luck! (Zombie Recipe)TOMORROW’S FREAKISHLY THIN SUPERMODELS
More depressing statistics out of England, where a study of 2,000 teenage girls found that over 90 per cent of them were unhappy with the shape of their bodies. Among the sad facts are these numbers: 64 per cent of girls under the age of 13 have already been on a diet; 26 per cent of 14-year-olds have considered plastic surgery or taking diet pills to change their bodies, and 19 per cent of teenage girls suffer from an eating disorder such as anorexia or bulimia. The survey also found that most girls blame their mothers for their insecurities. "Teenage girls look to their mums for guidance," explained Helen Johnston, the editor of the magazine which commissioned the survey, "only to see them continually worrying about their own body shape and size." (The Telegraph)THEY CALL IT A FREE COUNTRY, BUT YOU CAN’T EVEN SELL YOUR OWN PISS
The continuing saga of Kenneth Curtis, the man who sells urine by mail order, has taken another step up the ladder of appeals as the South Carolina supreme court has upheld his conviction. Curtis was arrested last year for selling his urine to people who wanted to beat drug tests. In his appeal, lawyers argued that providing clean urine to customers was not a crime. The court, however, ruled that it was obvious that the kits were being sold specifically to defraud a test for illegal drug use, citing the urine kit packaging which promised that the kits "allow anyone, regardless of substance intake, to pass any urinalysis within minutes." (fox21.com)WELCOME TO THE 20TH CENTURY
Singapore is considering rewriting its laws in order to decriminalise oral sex between consenting men and women over the age of 16. But, not wanting to cause any riots, Singapore law makers assured its citizens that the ban on homosexual oral sex will remain. (Yahoo News)
home archives links join e-mail list spam me!