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Curious Times No. 217
November 6, 2003HOW TO FIX YOUR PET
It always amazes me how far some people will go with their strange obsessions. Texan entrepreneur Gregg Miller, for example, spent two years and $500,000 to develop fake dog testicles to replace the ones he had removed from his dog Bucky. Miller claims that Bucky was "extremely depressed for three days" after his neutering, and this inspired him to create a set of replacement testicles for his best friend. His invention, "Neuticles," is now a huge business, with sales of over 1,000 sets of prosthetic testicles per month to people who want their pets returned to a shabby imitation of their former selves. According to the company literature, Neuticles allow a pet "to retain his natural look, self-esteem and aids in the trauma associated with neutering." The bizarre product is a huge seller in Miller’s home state of Texas, because, he says "Texas is a very macho state...When a male dog becomes female in appearance, it’s offensive to some pet owners." (Dallas Observer)WAKE UP AND SMELL THE SOAP
They say that necessity is the mother of invention, which means that there must be people out there so busy that they don’t have time to have a shower and to get themselves a cup of coffee before work in the morning. For those sorry folks, we now have Shower Shock Caffeinated Soap, a soap which, they claim, will deliver the equivalent of approximately two cups of coffee into your bloodstream through your skin while you scrub up. (www.thinkgeek.com)GOT CLONED MILK?
You’ll be happy to know that the march towards feeding us cloned meat is continuing. In its very, very preliminary stages of research into the subject, the Food and Drug Administration concluded last week that there is no evidence that meat or milk products from healthy cloned farm animals could harm people. Although cloning technologies are still far from perfect, there is already a push to provide cloned animal food products to consumers, as creating cloned meat could drastically cut costs for food producers. And despite a moratorium in place to stop the sale of cloned food products, the FDA doesn’t actually have the legal authority to stop the sale of cloned products. Reassuring, isn’t it? (CBS News)MY DEADBEAT DAD STOLE MY BRIDE
In a tale straight out of daytime television, a young man who reunited with his father after twenty years was traumatized by the old man yet again, as his father took the opportunity of their reunion to go ahead and steal his son’s fiance. George Potter Jr., 20, had been abandoned by his dad when he was just a baby. Recently, he decided to track down his father. But when he went to visit him, he made the horrible mistake of bringing along his 19-year-old fiance, who promptly hooked up with George Sr., 51, and dumped young George Jr. "My father has ruined my life," concluded the son. (sky.com)OR YOU COULD JUST GIVE THE VAMPIRE TWELVE GRAND TO LEAVE YOU ALONE
Just in time to celebrate Halloween last week, an anonymous buyer at a Sotheby’s auction paid a hefty US$12,000 for a "Vampire Killing Kit." The kit, which is believed to have been sold to travellers to Eastern Europe during the 18th and 19th century, is a walnut box which includes a wooden stake, a pistol with 10 silver bullets, a crucifix, a rosary, and vessels for garlic powder and other serums. A label on the kit reads: "This box contains the items considered necessary for persons who travel into certain little known countries of Eastern Europe where the populace are plagued with a particular manifestation of evil known as Vampires." (Associated Press)IS THIS WHAT THEY MEAN BY HOUSE ARREST?
I guess I wouldn’t want to go to jail for a murder I didn’t commit either, but it would probably be better than hiding under my house for longer than the actual prison term. A Romanian man found this out the hard way last week when he was arrested for a murder committed 11 years ago. At the time, he was sentenced to an eight-year jail term, but he escaped from custody and spent the last 11 years hiding under his house before someone ratted him out and police arrested him. (Ananova)ANOTHER FULL YEAR’S SUPPLY OF IRONY
George W. Bush, getting ready to battle for re-election next year, claimed that part of his platform will be based on the fact that, and I quote, "the world is more peaceful and more free under my leadership, and America is more secure." (CBC News)THE PROPHECY OF GEORGE BUSH SR.
While we’re on the subject of quotes from the Bush clan, here’s an interesting one from Bush Sr., the man who didn’t storm into Iraq to kill Saddam Hussein in 1991. In his 1998 book, A World Transformed, Bush explained the havoc that would have caused. "Trying to eliminate Saddam, extending the ground war into an occupation of Iraq...would have incurred incalculable human and political costs. Apprehending him was probably impossible...We would have been forced to occupy Baghdad and, in effect, rule Iraq...Under the circumstances, there was no viable "exit strategy" we could see, violating another of our principles...Had we gone the invasion route, the United States could conceivably still be an occupying power in a bitterly hostile land.""I READ IT ON THE INTERNET SO IT MUST BE TRUE" FACT OF THE WEEK
According to the Ayatollah Khomeini, it is acceptable to have sex with a lamb, but a mortal sin to eat it afterwards.
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