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Curious Times No. 216
October 30, 2003YOU’RE GONNA NEED A LOT OF BOOZE
Film producers in Germany have created the next big thing in nightclub entertainment. Porno Karaoke pits male-female teams against each other as they belt out the audio soundtrack to a triple X feature playing silently on screen. A little bit like regular karaoke, but instead of singing top 40 hits, contestests try to outdo each other with moans, groans, screams, and a healthy dose of faked orgasms for one minute each. The crowd then votes for the most convincing performance and prizes are alotted to the best fake porn stars. Porno Karaoke nights have already premiered in Berlin and Hamburg, and are now spawning imitations in most of Germany’s major cities. (Agence France-Press)A SUCKER LOGS ONTO EBAY EVERY MINUTE
A crafty young entrepreneur, trying to live the American dream, has ended up with a date in court after selling a "large-screen plasma high definition picture" on eBay to various suckers. Yes, he was selling a picture of a big-screen TV, not the actual TV itself, and he even held up his end of the bargain by sending his stooges an envelope with a picture of a plasma television inside. He reeled in at least four eBay shoppers, who paid between $800 and $5,100 for 61-inch screen televisions which normally sell for between $8,000 and $10,000. (Palm Beach Post)STATE-SPONSORED WITCHCRAFT
A woman in Norway must be the world’s first state-sponsored witch after receiving a government grant worth about US$7,500 to set up her witchcraft-based business. Lena Skiarning, 33, received the grant to start a company called Forest Witch Magic Consulting, which will provide fortune-telling, teach magic tricks at corporate seminars, and provide potions and creams to cure various bad habits. An official from the agency which handed out the grant said that Skiarning’s plan was "pretty reasonable and well thought out." Based on her business plan, they gave her the grant with only one condition, that she promise not to try any spells which might hurt anyone. Skiarning agreed to the condition, saying that she has been a "nice witch" for 13 years. "I’m an ordinary witch who came up with an original business idea," she explained. (BBC)AND YOU WON’T MIND LICKING YOUR STICKY FINGERS AFTERWARDS
And now, in honor of our favourite holiday, and thanks to my spam box, here are the top 10 reasons why trick or treating is better than sex: 10. You’re guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack; 9. If you get tired, you can wait 10 minutes and do it again; 8. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some; 7. You don’t have to compliment the person who gives you some; 6. It’s O.K. when the person you’re with fantasizes you’re someone else, because you are; 5. Twenty years from now you’ll still enjoy candy; 4. If you don’t like what you get, you can always go next door; 3. It doesn’t matter if the kids hear you moaning and groaning; 2. Less guilt the morning after; 1. You can do the whole neighbourhood!DID YOU SAY RAIN? WE THOUGHT YOU WANTED PAIN
A "rain-making machine" brought into Vladivostok, Russia, to help end a months-long drought has been shut down after local residents began complaining of various health ailments. Authorities in Vladivostok purchased the machine from a Moscow company which promised it would bring rain by shooting negative ions into the atmosphere above the city. Instead, two days after turning the machine on, the locals started complaining of tiredness and headaches, and the machine was shut off, with no rain to show for the experiment. (Ananova)QUICK, HIDE THE POOR, COMPANY’S COMING
The city of Bangkok has unveiled the world’s largest banner to help hide a sprawling riverside slum from international delegates visiting Thailand for the Apec summit. The 360 metre long and 10 metre high banner, which reads "A Warm Welcome to Thailand to all Apec Delegates," has been strung up along side a particularly nasty section of the Chao Phraya river, and will help protect the sensitive eyes of delegates from the horror of having to see how poor people live. As well as hiding its slums, Bangkok has also ejected beggars, vagrants and stray dogs from the city centre. (news24.com)SOMEONE UP THERE IS TRYING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING
I’d think twice about starring in a film about the life of Jesus Christ if I was hit by lightning during the filming. And I’d probably have a religious conversion if I was hit twice. But no such qualms for actor Jim Caviezel, who has now been hit twice by lightning while filming the upcoming Mel Gibson film The Passion of Christ, which is already embroiled in controversy, despite being months away from theatrical release. Caviezel was hit by lightning last week while shooting scenes in a remote location near Rome, thus adding to his collection of lightning strikes which he began a few weeks ago when his umbrella was hit while shooting scenes in Matera, Italy. Both times he escaped with light burns, and both times he’s completely ignored God’s warning.PRAYER WORKS, OR MAYBE IT DOESN’T
A follow up study to research which seemed to indicate that prayer could help the recovery of heart surgery patients has now concluded that prayer seems to make no difference either way. The initial trial at the Duke University Medical Centre, carried out on 150 patients, found that "adverse outcomes" were decreased by as much as 25 per cent in patients who were being prayed for in the double-blind study. However, the latest research, carried out on 750 patients, found no evidence of any benefits for those who were prayed for. (BBC)
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