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Curious Times No. 212
October 2, 2003YOUR CRAPPY PARENTS WEREN’T SO BAD AFTER ALL
Okaaaay... We have yet another entrant in the World’s Worst Parents Competition, which, sadly, is a field with no lack of competitors. A couple of complete and utter sick losers in Urbana, Ohio managed to convince the folks in their town that their seven-year-old daughter had cancer in order to rake in about $31,000 in donations. The saddest part of this sorry tale is that the parents didn’t tell their daughter that it was all a sick joke, and had her convinced that she was actually dying of cancer. As part of the scheme the mother shaved her daughter’s head, fed her sleeping pills in order to make it appear as if she was weak from chemotherapy, and even had her daughter go into counseling in order to prepare her for her own death. The parents were both found guilty of various charges, including endangering children and grand theft, and will spend the next four to six years in jail. (Ohio News Now)SHOVING ICE CUBES UP YOUR FRIEND’S ASS IS NO LAUGHING MATTER
Purely as an educational service to my readers, of course, and not at all because this story involves shoving things up your overdosed friend’s ass, I now pass on this very serious warning: medical experts are urging strung out partiers not to use "ice cube enemas" to revive their friends from drug overdoses. Apparently, somehow the rumour has spread that putting ice cubes up the rectum of someone suffering from a GHB overdose could help revive them. But according to an expert from the National Drug and Alcohol Research Centre, not only would an ice cube enema do absolutely no good, the practice could be dangerous, as putting an object up the ass of someone who isn’t expecting it can cause something called a "vagal" reaction, which can, potentially stop blood flow to the brain (how do they test stuff like this?). This matter should not be treated as a joke, added the "expert," who also warned that charges of sexual assault could result from anyone tormenting their friends in this way. "The sight of the incapacitated person with their pants around their ankles having people inserting ice cubes is beyond humiliating and potentially dangerous," he concluded. He’s right, of course, this isn’t funny at all. So stop laughing, okay? (www.news.com.au)IF YOU ASK ME, THEY’RE ALL A BUNCH OF JOKERS
A bunch of French lefties from the Voltaire Network have created a card deck commemorating "the 52 most dangerous American officials." Thierry Meyssan, author of 9-11: The Big Lie, created the card deck to help explain "why we consider the government of George Bush a threat to international security." Dubya’s card is the King of Diamonds, which comes with the caption "Head of a baseball club and director of Salem bin Laden’s oil company (brother of Osama). Designated President of the United States by friends of his father at the Supreme Court before the vote count showed that he lost the elections." (CNN)NO DOWN PAYMENT, NO MONTHLY PAYMENTS, EVER!
In a move which most of us fantasize about but never have the guts to try, a man in Philadelphia took a $729,000 Ferrari for a test drive and then drove off into the sunset, never to be seen or heard from again. Police say a salesperson took the man for a spin in the Italian roadster, then let him get behind the wheel for a few miles. The man then pulled over and asked the salesperson to drive him back to the showroom. When the salesperson climbed out the vehicle, the Ferrari sped off, probably into a waiting trailer and then overseas to be sold on the black market. (ABC News)JAPANESE DOGS PREDICT EARTHQUAKES
We’ve all heard stories of animals behaving strangely in advance of strange weather or events such as earthquakes, but very little scientific research has been done to support these stories. Until now, that is. A Japanese researcher who examined unusual behaviour in dogs in the months prior to the 1995 earthquake in Kobe claims to have found a direct correlation. According to records, reports of dogs barking excessively, biting and displaying "other unusual behavior" (no word on what that means) increased 60 per cent in the month prior to the earthquake, with peaks two months before and after the quake. (AP)YOU ACT TOUGH BUT YOU’RE REALLY JUST A FOETUS
A British scientist who has been studying the connection between sleep position and personality traits has come up with the six favourite sleep positions and what they say about your personality. The most popular position is the "foetus" (curled up on the side, holding the pillow), which indicates a person with a tough exterior who is actually a very sensitive person; the "starfish" (spreadeagled on the back) indicates a good listener who makes friends easily; a "free faller" (sleeping on the front) has a brash exterior but a nervous personality; a "soldier" (sleeping on the back) is quiet and reserved; a "log" (sleeping on the side) is relaxed and social; and a "yearner" (on the side with raised arms) is suspicious and cynical. (The Telegraph)ALL PARANORMAL, ALL THE TIME
An all paranormal televsion network has been started in the U.S. and is now up and running and available to various satellite and cable subscribers. The Borderlands Network promises to provide only "fact-based, scientifically researched studies without resorting to sensationalism or fidicule of the subject matter for the sake of ratings." Check it out at www.theborderlandsnetwork.com ."I READ IT ON THE INTERNET SO IT MUST BE TRUE" FACT OF THE WEEK
In Tasmania, a widow is required to wear her dead husband’s penis around her neck for a period of time after his death.
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