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Curious Times No. 209
September 11, 2003IT’S A TOUGH JOB
While you were hating your job and dreaming of the weekend last Friday, King Mswati of Swaziland was watching 50,000 bare-breasted teenage girls dance for him as he considered which of the thousands to take as his next wife. Swaziland’s annual "Reed Dance" is a traditional ceremony in which young women audition for their shot at royalty and an escape from their poverty-drenched lives. Despite strong opposition from women’s rights activists and health care workers, the young Swazi women are desperate for their shot at royalty. "I am tired of being poor. I want to be a queen," said one 17-year-old dancer. Another girl, only 14-years-old, added "I want a limousine, and a house like they give the queens. I want my children to school in England." Last year, the 35-year-old king chose three teenagers for his harem. He now has 10 wives and one fiancee. (Yahoo News)IN A PERFECT WORLD, YOU WOULD CLONE YOURSELF IN THE OPPOSITE SEX
Still looking for that perfect match? After studying the mating habits of humans through thousands of years of evolution, science has come up with a few dating secrets for finding the love of your life. 1) Be symmetrical. In evolutionary terms, a symmetrical face indicates good health, which means you’ll make good babies. 2) If you’re a woman, keep your waist smaller than your hips, your nose small and your lips full. 3) For men, throw some of your cash around, so that it might appear that you’ve attained some degree of social status. 4) Find someone who looks and thinks just like you. Various studies have shown that men and women prefer faces which resemble their own, and also prefer mates who have similar characteristics and values as their own. A researcher from Cornell University concludes, "individuals seeking stable long-term relationships should not seek the highest-quality partner available, but should simply look for partners who are similar to themselves." No wonder this planet is so boring. (Boston Globe)CHRIST KILLS
In a scene straight out of Scooby Doo, an ancient icon of Jesus Christ has been removed from a Russian museum after reportedly killing several staff members over the years. Professor Boris Sapunov of the Hermitage Museum in St. Petersburg, began noticing trouble several years ago, when the icon began giving museum staff minor health problems such as high blood pressure. Since that time, he claims, the icon has killed off four museum supervisors, leading to his speculation that the icon has a negative energy which is harming people. "The icon was created by several artists, but it is the middle section, painted by an apprentice, that has a negative bio-field," claims Sapunov. Others don’t quite buy that explanation. "[Sapunov’s] just a nutty professor," said a specialist who studied the icon. "Only one of the workers in contact with the icon died, and she had cancer." (World Net Daily)YOU’RE GONNA NEED AN EXTRA ARM TO HOLD THE PHONE DURING SEX
While uptight North American cell phone providers continue to stall, a company in Brazil has picked up a popular service in Europe which gives cell phone users the opportunity to download animated sexual positions based on the Kama Sutra. So if you’re bored of your repertoire of three positions, you can check your cell phone and pick up one of 40 animations, which each come with a short explanation and a gauge of difficulty. If the service proves popular, the Brazilian company says it has another 40 positions ready to go. (Reuters)IF YOU MUST KILL, DON’T WRITE SONGS ABOUT IT
An Australian teenager facing charges in the murder of his so-called best friend apparently wrote a rap tune describing how he was going to chop up his pal. As evidence of the young man’s premeditated murder, the court was shown lyrics to a song called "Revenge Rap." "With every day going buy (sic) his or my hatred increases. I’m going to kill a friend and chop him up in pieces," wrote Nikos Karagiannis, the teenager being charged in the gruesome death of his only friend. Police found a dismembered body in Karagiannis’ home, along with the song lyrics and a sketch of his friend with dotted lines showing how to carve up the body. A teacher from the boys’ school testified in court that he was not at all shocked by the allegations. "We’ve got drug users, drug pushers, people who beat their siblings," said the high school teacher, "this is just another thing. Nothing can surprise me now." (Herald Sun)
THE WORLD IRONY EXPO
Japan has just finished hacking down a huge tract of forest in order to build the site of the 2005 Aichi World Exposition. The expo’s theme will be "The Wisdom of Nature." (Japan Times)"I READ IT ON THE INTERNET SO IT MUST BE TRUE" FACT OF THE WEEK
A woman burns 27 calories while having an orgasm, compared to 160 calories while faking an orgasm.
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