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Curious Times No. 206
August 21, 2003WHEN I SAY "RIGHT-WING PSYCHOS" I REALLY MEAN IT
A psychological study of political conservatism funded by the National Science Foundation and the National Institutes of Health has concluded that hardcore right-wingers share a set of neuroses rooted in "fear and aggression, dogmatism and the intolerance of ambiguity." The report went on to link Hitler, Mussolini, Ronald Reagan and Rush Limbaugh as all suffering from the affliction, stating that all of these men "preached a return to an idealised past and condoned inequality." The authors of the study also analyzed George W. Bush's psyche, and concluded that his is a textbook case of exactly the type of neuroses they describe, including his preference for moral certainty and his disdain for nuance. "This intolerance of ambiguity can lead people to cling to the familiar, to arrive at premature conclusions, and to impose simplistic cliches and stereotypes," concluded the report. (The Guardian)END OF THE WORLD UPDATE
As if Dubya Bush wasn't frightening enough with his bullshit moral superiority complex and thoroughly misguided righteous anger, but now it seems that the worst president of all time is actually taking advice from an apocalyptic televangelist. Jack Van Impe, a fundamentalist Christian who has been waiting patiently for the "Final Judgement" and Armageddon for several decades now, told his followers that he was contacted by White House National Security Advisor Condoleezza Rice and asked for an outline of what he believes the Book of Revelations says about coming events in the Middle East and what part Dubya will have "under the leading of the Holy Spirit of God." Van Impe believes we are within 10 years of the apocalypse, during which a massive war between the U.S., China and Russia, fought at the city of Jerusalem, will end up with the destruction of at least four billion people before Jesus (who either loves watching people suffer or else is a terrible procrastinator), finally comes back to create heaven on Earth. (MSNBC)AND IF JESUS DOESN'T SAVE US, ALIENS WILL
Stephany Cohen, 42, a former police officer in the U.K. claims that she has become a messenger for aliens who are able to give her intense orgasms at any moment. According to Cohen, the aliens are "Grays" from the planet Cirus D, which is approximately 150 light years away, and they have come to Earth to bring advanced knowledge to the human race. Of course, instead of actually giving this knowledge to people who might by intelligent enough to use it, the Grays from Cirus D have chosen Cohen and her partner, a 57-year-old plumber. "I don’t know why they have picked me. But they are not to be feared. They are very loving, intelligent and will only present themselves to those who accept them," she claims, adding that the Grays can give her strong orgasms by sending her a sexual energy which is 10 times as powerful as that produced by humans on Earth. She also claims that she is only one of a long line of Gray children to be born on Earth, a lineage which includes William Shakespeare, Charles Dickens, Nelson Mandela and Jesus Christ. (ThisIsLocalLondon.co.uk)BRIDE OF PSYCHO
A 44-year-old Brazilian man is in police custody after a spat with his parents ended with him strangling and stabbing his father and mother. The argument began over the man's "wife," which was actually a blow-up sex doll which he believed was human. His parents had demanded that he divorce his "bride," but the man refused. Finally, when his mother cut holes into doll with a pair of scissors, the man went ballistic and finished them off. (smh.com)BAD MOON RISING
A British insurance company studying the policies of over three million car owners has found that 14 per cent more accidents occur during the full moon. Data from the United Kingdom's Churchill Insurance Group found that all types of accidents increase during a full moon, but didn't attempt to explain why this might be so. "`We know that the moon is a strong source of energy, as it affects the tides and weather patterns, but were surprised by this bizarre trend," stated their press release. (Bloomberg.com)
YOU WATER SIGNS WON'T BELIEVE THIS
A former astrologer from Australia and a psychologist from the University of Saskatchewan have finished analysis of the largest ever study of birth records and have concluded that astrology can not predict personality traits in people born at a certain time of year. The study began in London in 1958 which seeked to understand how circumstances at birth would affect future health. Over 2,000 babies born in early March were registered and tracked at regular intervals. After using the data to find if astrological influences could predict personality characteristics - including occupation, anxiety levels, marital status, sociability, IQ, and levels of ability in art, sport, math and reading - the researchers concluded that those born at the same time have hardly any more similarities than random strangers. "It has no acceptable mechanism, its principles are invalid and it has failed hundreds of tests," said Dr. Geoffrey Dean in his conclusion. (The Telegraph)QUIT BUGGING ME
A woman in Singapore who is trying to break the world record for the longest solo domino tumble is having trouble with cockroaches which often take down huge chunks of her work. Last week, one bug knocked down about 8000 dominos, which is entire day's work for Ma Lihua, the 24-year-old Chinese woman who is gunning for the record. She has been working 13 hours a day for the last six weeks, hoping to set up and topple 350,000 domino tiles in order to smash the record of 281,581, set by German Klaus Friedrich in 1984. (Associated Press)
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