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Curious Times No. 204
August 7, 2003IS IT HOT IN HERE, OR DID I ACCIDENTLY ENTER THE SAUNA-SITTING CHAMPIONSHIPS?
Those crazy Finns are at it again. From the country which brought us the World Wife-Carrying Championships and the World Air Guitar Champions hips, now comes the latest way to while away a long, cold, boring winter. 100 competitors from 14 nations were in Finland last week for the World Sauna-Sitting Championships, a grueling and mildly psychotic test of endurance in which contestants try to outlast each other in a scorching hot sauna with temperatures which exceed 100 degrees Celsius (about 230 degrees Fahrenheit). This year's winner, Timo Kaukonen, smashed the 12 minute 10 second record held by three-time champion Leo Pusa, with a new record of 16 minutes, 15 seconds. (CNN)HITLER'S PENIS FOR SALE
A Russian man who claims to possess the mummified remains of Adolf Hitler's penis has decided to put the bizarre object on sale for about US$20,000. Ivan Zudropov claims that his father was a soldier in the Red Army at the end of World War Two, and was one of the first soldiers to enter the Berlin bunker where they found Hitler's body. The story goes that the Russian soldiers stripped the corpse, kicked and punched it, and then hacked the body into several pieces. At that point, Zudropov decided to take home a souvenir, and so he chopped off Hitler's dick and carried it home. DNA tests are being prepared to confirm the origins of the strange little relic, which measures only about two-and-a-half inches long, which might explain why Hitler was so full of rage all the time. (Ananova)THE PERFECT GIFT FOR THE DELUSIONAL NUT WHO HAS EVERYTHING
And now, from the "just because you're insane doesn't mean you can't make a few bucks department", comes the tale of a man who was abducted by aliens in 1982, and given the right to sell the Title Deeds of millions of galaxies to Earthlings for the low, low price of US$19.95. Yes, at www.GalaxiesRUs.com , they promise you can become a GLM (Galactic Lord and Master) with complete naming, landing and mineral rights, and absolute ownership for you and your descendants for one of millions of galaxies in our universe. Hurry before they're all gone!GOOD DOG, BUT NOT TOO BRIGHT
Careful how you train your guard dog. A Russian man found out the hard way that your guard dog can be a bit too ferocious when his dog held off paramedics long enough for him to die of a heart attack. After the man suffered the heart failure, his wife called doctors, who were unable to help the man as his Staffordshire bull terrier wouldn't allow anyone near him. After a long standoff, the doctors finally called the police, who were forced to shoot the dog. But by then, the faithful dog's master was long dead. (Reuters)MOVE OVER SPIDERMAN, HERE COMES SPITTLE BUG MAN
The insect world has a new high-jumping champion, after British researchers found that a tiny green insect called the spittle bug can leap over twice as high as the flea, which until now was thought to be nature's highest jumper. Using special high speed cameras to film the bugs, the researchers found that the 6-millimetre-long spittle bug can jump over two feet high. The spittle bug manages this incredible feat by accelerating at over 400 times the force of gravity, as compared to 135 times for a flea, and only three times for a human althlete. If the spittle bug were the size of a human, it would be able to jump over 630 feet, or about 63 stories high. (Nature)
YOUR PRAYERS FOR MONEY HAVE BEEN ANSWERED
A black Baptist minister in Shreveport, Louisiana, whose 5,000-member church consists almost entirely of African-Americans, has offered a bribe to white people to come attend his services. For the month of August, white folks who attend services at the Greenwood Acres Full Gospel Baptist Church will receive $5 per hour on Sundays and $10 per hour on Thursdays. The minister is hoping to diversify his congregation with the offer, saying that "Jesus said that we're to fish for men. I'm just using money to fish with." He also added that the offer does not apply to Hispanics, Asians, or other ethnic groups who wish to join his church. "I'm only paying for white folks in August," he said. "We'll probably move on to other ethnic groups from there." (Yahoo News)OBVIOUSLY HE WAS HIDING, YA DUMMIES
A team of researchers working on a BBC special program called "Searching for The Loch Ness Monster," claim to have conclusively proven that the mythical beast known as "Nessie" does not exist. Using 600 sonar beams and satellite navigation technology, the team surveyed every inch of the famous Scottish lake, but found nothing even remotely bizarre. "We got some good clear data of the loch, steep sided, flat bottomed - nothing unusual I'm afraid," said one of the surveyors. "There was an anticipation that we would come up with a large sonar anomaly that could have been a monster - but it wasn't to be." (BBC)BABY-KILLING DREAMS
An Australian scientist who has been studying the dreaming brain for almost ten years has come up with a bizarre new theory as to what causes Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. George Christos believes that babies are dreaming of being back inside their mother's womb - a place where they did not have to breathe - and during those dreams they stop breathing and die. He first considered the theory after brain researchers found that people often try to act out their dreams, and that people who dream of swimming underwater actually stop breathing during their sleep. And because we usually incorporate our memories into our dreams, Christos figures that most of a young babies memories are from its time in the womb, and so it would naturally dream of being back in that place, and therefore stop breathing. (Mercury News)
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