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Curious Times No. 192
May 15, 2003THOSE MONKEYS ARE HACKS
Professors and students at the University of Plymouth in the UK have finished experiments testing the theory that an infinite number of monkeys typing on an infinite number of typewriters would eventually produce the works of William Shakespeare. The study charted the creative output of six monkeys for a month before the researchers concluded that the monkeys wouldn't ever come up with anything even closely resembling a single word. Instead of churning out rhyming couplets and over-dramatic sonnets, the monkeys only succeeded in partially destroying the equipment and using it as a toilet. They did come up with about five pages of text, almost exclusively of the letter "s", as well as a few occurances of the letters a, j, l, and m. (BBC)DID YOUR COAT JUST BARK?
Animal rights activists are urging European Union nations to ban the sale of cat and dog fur after the BBC found evidence that the animals are being farmed for their skins and their fur being used in products such as hats, gloves, shoes, blankets, and stuffed animals and toys. Since the ban of cat and dog fur trading in America, the market has mushroomed in Europe, where it is estimated that as many as a hundred thousand cat and dog skins may be traded each year, most of which come from the two million cats and dogs slaughtered each year in China to supply the demand not met by European "farmers". As well as the ethical implications of such actions, campaigners also point to rampant consumer fraud, as cat and dog fur is often mislabeled and sold as the fur of more exotic animals. (BBC)OSAMA BIN SUPERMAN
A couple of stories out of Europe this week of authorities ruling that parents can't just name their child whatever they want. A man in Germany was fined a cool grand and forced to change his son's name after he tried to register the kid under the name Osama bin Laden. And in Sweden, the tax authority (which is in charge of name registrations in that country) denied a couple the right to call their son Stallman, the Swedish word for Superman. (Ananova) (Yahoo News)DING DONG! THE QUEEN IS DEAD
A 63-year-old pensioner in Lauterbach, Germany, has been fined over $3,000 for "maligning the memory of the dead" after he set off fireworks and sang songs of jubilation as his recently deceased gay neighbour was removed from his home. (Reuters)I AM MAN, HEAR ME CROAK
A study of over 1,400 thunderstorm-related deaths carried out at the University of Pittsburgh found that over 70 per cent of those killed by floods and lightning strikes during storms are men. And the reason why the vast majority of victims are men? The researchers came to the simple conclusion that men are more likely to stay out during a storm. "I would say they make poor decisions," said Dr. Thomas Songer, who carried out the research, "Men tend to be optimists. They all think...they're never going to be hit by lightning." Most deaths occured while the men were involved in sports or recreational activities (36.3%), followed by people working (21.8%) and people out boating and fishing (15.2%). As well, over 65 per cent of flash flood victims were men trying to drive around barricades or drive on flooded roads.MARRIAGE IS A PRISON
A 40-year-old prisoner in Italy who was given a three-day pass for good behavior phoned his warden less than an hour after returning home asking if he could come back to prison. According to the prisoner, withing minutes of arriving home he got into a huge argument with his wife, realized he didn't want to spend one more minute with her, and started longing for the peace and quiet of his prison cell. When the warden received the call, he was quite surprised, but assured the man that he was welcome to come back to prision. And within an hour, he was.PEOPLE LOVE BUYING USELESS SHIT
The latest rage in Japan is a replica of a little turd painted gold and sold on a tiny red cushion. Over two million of the golden turds have been sold since June of 2000, and the demand has steadily skyrocketed, starting with giggling schoolgirls and now reaching into the staidest sectors of corporate society. The turds are sold as lucky charms, and have brought its creator plenty of good luck in the form of huge stinking gobs of cash as sales just keep coming. "With the world as bleak as it is nowadays, we wanted to come up with a product that would get people laughing," said Koji Fujii. Now, due to popular demand, his company has started manufacturing life-size golden turds that weigh about 100 grams. (Mainich Daily News)SUDDENLY ALL THE OTHER CATS ON THE BLOCK ARE IN HEAT
An elderly widow in London has left her entire estate to a stray cat. "Tinker" has inherited a huge house and about $200,000 with the condition that he stay in the home. "If Tinker abandons the property permanently the trustees shall at their discretion be entitled to bring the trust to an end," she said in her will. (London Times)SOON TO BE RENAMED THE GEORGE ORWELL MEMORIAL WAR IS PEACE PRIZE
And now, another full year's recommended dose of irony: Jan Simonsen, a right-wing parlimentarian in Norway, has nominated George W. Bush and Tony Blair for the Nobel Peace Prize. (Reuters)I READ IT ON THE INTERNET SO IT MUST BE TRUE FACT OF THE WEEK
The average North American spends six months of his or her life waiting at red lights.
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