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January 20, 2000


CHEMTRAIL UPDATE

The Spotlight has published an interview with an Air Force and National Security Agency veteran who reveals that the mysterious "chemtrails" that have been sighted over hundreds of North American cities are caused by the Pentagon's Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, who are testing the aerial distribution of anti-bacterialogical warfare chemicals as a countermeasure against terrorist attacks using toxic agents such as anthrax, influenza or other biological pathogens. In other words, the Pentagon is inoculating us against future biological terrorism (secretly, so we don't freak out).


WHO SAID CELL PHONES WEREN'T HAZARDOUS TO YOUR HEALTH?

The first recorded example of "mobile phone rage" has hit in Germany. A 42-year-old man drinking in a Hamburg beer garden continually received calls on his phone which played, according to witnesses, an "irritating melody" when it rang. Other patrons complained about the ringing, and when the man refused to stop using his phone, he was clubbed to death with a beer bottle. (Deutsche Telegraph)


FINISH YOUR LUNCH BEFORE YOU READ THIS

For your amusement, three cases out of God knows how many involving human and animal feces (and worse) in your food: 1) Between August 1998 and March 1999, excrement from staff toilets was plumbed into the production line at a cattle feed factory in France. An estimated 15 to 20 tonnes of human and other sewage sludge was mixed each week into feed for chickens, pigs and sheep. 2) Cattle at Great Farm, in England, have for years been grazing on land laden with sewage. Three lagoons, lined with polythene and holding about a million gallons of sewage sludge, chemicals and bacteria lie on the land, and thousands of gallons of this toxic soup of leached into the farmland. 3) The Belgian Government recently admitted that human and animal waste was being mixed into animal feed until early 1999. As a result, waste from slaughterhouses, toilets and showers ended up in Belgium's food chain. Delicious! (Nexus)


YOU GO GIRL!

Tamara Sanowar-Makhan had her sculpture, entitled "Ultra-Maxi Priest" banned from an Oakville, Ontario art exhibit last September. The life-size Catholic vestment was made of 200 maxi-pads, to symbolize, the artist said "the oppressive control by organized religion over the freedom of girls and women." (UPI)


MESSING WITH MOMMY NATURE

Genetic scientists have revealed a plan to create cows that produce human breast milk. Within three years they foresee adding cows milk that contains a protein component of human milk to infant formula to make it more like the "real thing" (that is, mother's milk, not Coca-Cola, I think). Their ultimate goal is to eliminate the animal protein in cows' milk altogether and replace it with human protein, to create a cow that gives human milk. And the children of the future will have a strange fondness for eating grass. (London Express)


BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE FROM THE WORLD OF FREAKY SCIENCE

Scientists from the Roslin Institute in Edinburgh, who created "Dolly" the world's first cloned sheep, are setting up the world's first clone farm in New Zealand. Their plan is to create 1,500 genetically engineered cows that will produce medicine in their milk. (Sightings)


WHEN THE SHIT HITS THE CAR

A man in Seville, Spain, narrowly escaped death when a nine pound block of frozen human excrement ejected from a passing aircraft landed on his car mere seconds before he was about to climb in. (Reuters)


BAD PENIS, BAD!

A previously convicted sex offender in St. Paul, Minnesota, cut off his penis, then called 911. He told police that he "was tired of it giving him trouble." (St. Paul Pioneer Press)


HEARTWARMING QUOTE OF THE WEEK

Hong Kong's Cheng Mingnewspaper quotes Chinese Defense Minister Chi Haotian: "Seen from the changes in the world situation and the United States' hegemonic strategy for creating monopolarity, war is inevitableŠwe cannot avoid itŠChinese armed forces must control the initiative in this warŠwe must be prepared to fight for one year, two years, three years or even longer."


THE COMMUTE WILL KILL YOU

An ad in the back of a magazine has an English company offering "Lunar Land For Sale." For just 10 pounds per acre, you can be the first to own a plot of land on the moon. The ad says "lunar land is limited, so don't delay." And, in finer print, "planets also available." Now there's a wise investment.


HAVE ANOTHER DIET COKE

Some telling results from The Center for Behavioral Medicine,which surveyed 166 studies of Aspartame: 100 per cent of the 74 studies that had Nutrasweet®-industry-related funding attested to aspartame's safety, whereas 92 per cent of the independently funded studies identified problems with the synthetic sweetener.


MY, WHAT A LOVELY NEW FACE YOU HAVE

Dr. Gordon Tobin, a leading American plastic surgeon, states that the world's first face transplant will soon take place. The process of removing the face of a recently deceased donor and grafting it onto a living patient would help those suffering from severe burns or deformities. (Bizarre)



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Copyright 2000 by Andreas Ohrt (604) 803-7485
Email:aohrt@hotmail.com
Website:www.curioustimes.com