April 10, 2003
BOWLING FOR A BULLET TO THE HEAD
Fresh off his Best
Documentary Oscar for Bowling For Columbine, MIchael Moore
has just signed a deal with Mel Gibson's production company
for his next film, which will delve into the relationship
between the Bush family and the bin Laden's. The movie,
with a working title of Fahrenheit 911, will explore the
extremely lucrative business relationships between Osama
bin Laden's father and George Bush Sr., and the bin Laden's
huge investments in the Carlyle Group, for which Bush was s
senior advisor. "It asks a number of questions that I don't
have the answers to yet, but which I intend to find out,"
says Moore. The film is scheduled to be finished in time
for the next round of American elections in 2004, presuming
he isn't rubbed out before then. (Note to Michael Moore:
don't forget to check out the connections between Dubya's
grandfather, Prescott Bush, and the funding of the Nazi
party during the 1930's.) (Variety News)
YOU'LL MAKE A LOVELY CORPSE
Since the SARS outbreak, most
of the seven million residents of Hong Kong are now wearing
masks on a daily basis. But to make the best of a bad
situation, retailers have released a wide variety of
patterns and designs to keep the fashion-conscious looking
good. Masks have been printed with psychedelic patterns,
polka dots, cartoon characters, and even the ultra-chic
basic black. Some are even claiming to enjoy the masks with
absurd rationalizations. "I like wearing masks because they
can hide my pimples and make me look mysterious," said one
trendy urbanite, "I think people in Hong Kong are looking
better now that they're wearing masks."
(Reuters)
YOU CAN'T FOOL MOTHER NATURE
New research by scientists in
London and Caracas has reached the startling conclusion
that some genetically modified crops which are specifically
engineered to kill pests are actually helping them grow
faster and larger. Biotech companies have added genes from
a naturally occurring poison (Bacillus thuringiensis) to
crops in order, in theory, to kill of the predators of
those crops. Instead, farmers are finding that pest are
becoming resistant to the toxin due to the constant
exposure. In the most recent tests, scientists found that
the insects eating leaves which contained the poison grew
much faster and larger than those which ate normal plants,
with an average of a 56 per cent higher growth rate. The
researchers concluded that the toxins "could therefor have
unanticipated favourable effects, increasing the fitness of
resistant populations."
(The Independent)
HOME OF THE BORED
Four men in Elkhart, Indiana have taken
it upon themselves to protect their neighbourhood of
Woodlawn from terrorists. They've been practicing their
shooting skills at the firing range, they've put reflective
signs on their trucks that read "Woodlawn Homeland
Security," and they've spent countless hours driving around
their neighbourhood at about 12 miles per hour, looking for
suspicious activity. The only problem is that Elkhart,
Indiana doesn't actually have any terrorists. "We don't do
very damn much," says one of the four, "we drink some
coffee and run around the neighbourhood. It gets boring."
(Wall Street Journal)
LAND OF THE "FREE"
Ever wonder what would happen under
America's ridiculous colour-coded terror warnings if the
warning hit the highest level, red alert? According to Sid
Caspersen, a former FBI agent and now New Jersey's
directory of the office of counter-terrorism, a red alert
would eliminate virtually all personal freedoms for
Americans, including leaving your own home. In a briefing
with the governor of New Jersey, Caspersen told him that in
an event of red alert, American citizens will be forced to
stay inside their homes at all times, and anyone who came
outside would be assumed to be a terrorist and be dealt
with by the authorities.
(southjerseynews.com)
FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY
Italian inventor Daniela Mannu
has created a board game in which players take on the role
of penniless immigrant prostitutes enslaved by the Italian
mafia. Puttanopoly, which roughly translates as
"Whoresville", is being launched as an educational game by
The Committee for Prostitute's Civil Rights in order to
help raise awareness of the growing problem of sex slavery.
In Puttanopoly, each player begins the game under a
"slavery contract" which forces them to pay about 90 per
cent of their earnings to pimps. The players then try to
dig their way out of misery (usually through a fortunate
twist of luck), but usually end up in jail, in the
hospital, or dead.
(The Guardian)
LIFE CAN BE RUFF
An unlucky golden retriever living the
pampered lifestyle in West Hollywood went from being
spoiled to being boiled in an unfortunate accident at the
U-Wash Doggy Salon last week. After his weekly session,
Harry was left under a doggy dryer for 20 minutes while his
body temperature soared to 109 degrees. By the time salon
workers noticed that Harry was looking a bit lifeless, it
was too late. They rushed him to the vet but Harry had
already passed on to Doggy Heaven. "It feels like the house
is empty," said Harry's owner, who was still in shock. "It
feels like there's no fun in the house, no spirit. Harry
was a bouncy, bubbly golden retriever, the life of the
party."
(LA Times)
ANOTHER SADDAM BITES THE DUST
Saddam Hussein, a
20-year-old Iraqi Kurd refugee living in Norway, has had
about enough with people harassing him about his name, and
has applied to the Norwegian government to change his name
to Dastanse Rasol Hussein. "When my father chose the name
20 years ago," he explains, "the president was a respected
man, even among Kurds." Now however, incredibly thick
meatheads are finding his name in the phone book and
calling him with death threats. "It's no fun being called
Saddam Hussein these days," he says.
(Oslo Aftenposten)