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Curious Times No. 181
February 27, 2003END OF THE WORLD UPDATE
According to the makers of a documentary about Sir Isaac Newton titled Newton: The Dark Heretic, the 17th-Century mathematician, theologian and alchemist was also obsessed with figuring out the exact date of the end of the world. Although it was known that Newton wrote about 4,500 pages of material over 50 years trying to predict the end of the world, it took a recent find by academics in Jerusalem to reveal Newton's conclusions. Freshly uncovered handwritten manuscripts in Newton's library which trace his attempt to decode the Bible show that Newton believed the world will end in 2060, after a period of plagues and war which will end with the return of Christ and a 1,000 years reign by the saints on Earth, including Newton himself, of course. (Ananova)IT'S A FISH-EAT-FISH WORLD
According to a report published by the Swiss-based World Wildlife Fund, fish farms are a growing threat to already depleted fish stocks worldwide because wild fish are increasingly being used as food for fish raised in farms. The report urged the reform of fish farms worldwide, which use about 70 per cent of the world's fish oil and 34 per cent of the world's fishmeal (both made from wild fish) as food for farmed fish. "Four kilos of wild-caught fish are needed to produce one kilo of farmed fish," stated the report, and urged research into vegetable-based feeds for farmed fish. (CNN)GAME OVER
A soccer referee in London, fed up with the constant abuse he received from players, snapped during a match and started chasing players around with an ax. The incident began after the ref disallowed a goal for the Romark FC soccer club. Players from the club began hurling insults at the ref, including calling him a fairy and a cunt, and one players went so far as to smack him in the head as he abandoned the game. "He went completely berserk," said a witness, "he ran off the pitch and returned a few moments later stripped to the waist and waving a long axe round his head." The players scattered in panic as the wild-eyed official chased them, screaming "Who fucking wants it?" The ref, who wasn't identified, but described as a "chubby skinhead in his 40s," has since been suspended by the league. (The Sun UK)AND NOW, THE REALLY IMPORTANT STUFF
England's Mirror newspaper reports that the British government has just finished wasting $161,000 on a study to examine the problems consumers have opening plastic bags and other containers. A team of consultants and academics studied volunteers as they struggled with cereal bags, cheese packages, juice containers and air freshener packaging. Among the enlightening conclusions from the 86-page study was this gem: "The larger the area for grasping the more force can be applied to open a package." Surprisingly, they couldn't figure out how to get that damn cotton ball out of a Tylenol jar when you've got a pounding headache.STORIES WE'RE SORRY WE MISSED
According to the latest internet debris floating around in cyberspace, these are the top ten headlines of 2002, collected from newspapers from around the globe: 10. Crack Found on Governor's Daughter; 9. Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half; 8. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers; 7. Prostitutes Appeal to Pope 6. Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant 5. War Dims Hope for Peace 4. Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures 3. Hospitals Sued by Seven Foot Doctors; 2. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Experts Say; 1. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks.
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FOLLOWED CLOSELY BY X-RAY PROOF UNDERWEAR
The European Space Agency has unveiled the world's first X-ray camera, and announced that a c heap, portable version of the invention - which will be able to photograph through objects and clothing - will be available to consumers within five years. The world's first "terahertz camera," was developed with a wide variety of applications in mind, including finding skin cancers and hidden weapons, spotting forged works of art, and photographing through fog, but researchers realize that consumers will want the x-ray camera for less useful purposes. "In principle it could see through clothes," said researcher Michael Sandford, "We haven't even tried that, though I'm sure there will be people who will want to." (Ottawa Citizen)A STICKY SITUATION
China's Ministry of Science and Technology has offered up $120,000 to the research firm which comes up with a substance which will dissolve chewing gum stuck to the ground. According to the ministry, it costs about 13 cents to remove each glob of gum plastered to a public building or road. The research competition, dubbed the "863 Program," is aiming to reduce that cost by about 80 per cent. According to Yu Xichun, director of the Science and Technology office, chewing gum waste has become a "big sanitation headache." During last October's seven-day long National Day festivities, officials estimate that 600,000 globs of gum were stuck to Tiananmen Square. (Reuters)FILLING OUT FORMS NOT A JEDI MAKE
Last year, a successful internet campaign persuaded the British government to add the choice of "Jedi" as an option for the question regarding religious preference on the British census. And the results of the 2002 census are in, which reveal that 390,000 Jedis live in that country. Census officials believe that adding the option might have helped encourage young people to complete the survey. (Reuters)
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