January 16, 2003
GAG ME WITH A GEORGE
And if you really want to lose your appetite, check
out these hideous photoshopped images of Dubya's head on various
supermodel bodies, at
www.georgewgirls.com.
GOD'S LITTLE GIFT TO THE WORLD
American researcher Chris
Bennet, in an article titled "Was Jesus a Stoner?" in the
magazine High Times, has claimed that Jesus Christ and his
disciples may have cured people with the help of a
cannabis-based annointing oil. Bennet claims that the medicinal
use of cannabis during the time of Christ is supported by
archaeological records, and was probably widely used to heal
the sick. ""The holy anointing oil, as described in the
original Hebrew version of the recipe in Exodus, contained over
six pounds of keneh-bosum - a substance identified by respected
etymology, linguists anthropologists, botanists and other
researchers as cannabis extracted into about six quarts of
olive oil along with a variety of other fragrant herbs," he
writes. "Interestingly, cannabis has been shown to be effective
in the treatment of not only epilepsy but many of the other
ailments that Jesus and the disciples healed people of such as
skin diseases, eye problems and menstrual problems."
(BBC)
STAY AWAKE AND KILL!
The Pentagon has launched a bizarre series
of medical experiments in its effort to find ways to keep
soldiers and pilots awake and alert for up to five days at a
time. Along with the much-publicized "go pills" (amphetamines)
which are already routinely given to army and airforce
personnel, the mission to create an "Extended Performance War
Fighter" includes employing advanced genetics and neurological
science to keep fighters awake. One of the strangest
technologies in development is an electromagnetic "zapper"
which could keep a human brain awake. Research at Columbia
University in New York has found that there is a small area of
the brain above the left ear that can be zapped with
electromagnetic energy in order to keep a person awake and
alert. Before and during missions pilots and soldiers could
simply be zapped, and their need for sleep would be greatly
diminshed.
(Telegraph)
YOU GOT THE WRONG KILLER
An Italian hitman facing charges for
murders committed during a mafia war in the early 1990's took
the stand in his own defense last week and told the court that
he could not have committed those murders because he was busy
killing two other men at that time. Salvatore Torre told
Italy's Crown Court, "I am not the murderer, not just because I
would have admitted it anyway, but because that day I was
killing someone else."
(Ananova)
HIS NEXT BOOK: HOW TO BREAK OUT OF JAIL
The author of a book
called Divorce Dirty Tricks, which teaches deadbeat dads how to
avoid paying child support, faces up to two years in jail after
pleading guilty to failing to provide child support for his son
from his failed 10-year marriage. Robert Morrison was finally
found by Arizona prosecutors, after successfully avoiding the
law for nine years using techniques he teaches in his book.
(Philadelphia Inquirer)
THE PROBLEM WITH ROOKIE TIME TRAVELLERS
There is a strange
e-mail plea making the rounds in cyberspace; perhaps you can
help. "If you are a reliable supplier of the below equipment I
am going to need the following: 1. A mind warper generation 4
Dimensional Warp Generator # 52 4350a series wrist watch with
memory adapter. 2. The special 23200 series time transducing
capacitor with built in temporal displacement. While these time
pieces normally go between $5,000-$7,000 a piece, I am having a
hard time finding a reliable supplier. Teleport to me within
the next 48 earth hours and I will pay $40,000 2002 US cash.
Please only reply if you are reliable. Send an email to me at
Tomnwrr@aol.com."
YOU KNOW YOU'VE GOT TOO MUCH CASH WHEN...
The Old Homestead
restaurant in New York City has unveiled the world's most
expensive hamburger, a 20-ounce patty made from Kobe beef which
comes from cattle that are fed beer and massaged daily to keep
the meat soft and succulent. "This is not about price," said
restaurant owner Marc Sherry after selling 200 of the burgers
on its first day, "this is an event." "The World's Most
Decadent Hamburger," as they call it, sells for US$41. (AP)
BEWARE THE ROGUE SUPERPOWER
By the time you read this it may
be too late to cast your vote, but if not get on over to Time
magazine's website where they ask the question "Which country
poses the greatest danger to world peace in 2003?" Your options
are Iraq, North Korea and the U.S.A. Last time I checked the
U.S. was well out in front with about 72 per cent of the vote.
(Time)