January 6, 2000

THE END IS NOT SO NEAR ANYMORE:

Now that we've survived the Y2K scare (thank god, so to speak) what's left for the doomsday prophets? A new book called Cracking the Apocalypse Codehas its authors claiming that they have unveiled hidden messages in the Book of Revelation, which, (wait for it), states that China and North Korea will start a nuclear war on February 5, 2043 which will lead to the final battle-Armaedon. I can hardly wait. (PRNewswire)

ONE CHILD PER FAMILY, PER PLANET:

China is developing the world's first manned space program with the goal of colonizing other planets. A state-run Chinese newspaper claims "aside from exploiting the resources of space, another long-term goalŠis to put more people into space to search for other habitable environments beyond Earth." (AP)

VAMPIRE, HEAL THYSELF:

A 20-year-old Cambodian man, dubbed a "vampire" by villagers, has been arrested for killing people and drinking their blood in order to cure himself of AIDS. Pheach Phen told police that a traditional Cambodian healer advised him of the unusual method to beat the virus. Other "traditional methods" include having sex with virgins, drinking dog's blood and consuming witches' brews. (Koh Santepheap newspaper)

www.censorshipbackfires.com:

When George W. Bush tried to stop the sarcastic rants of an anti-Bush website, he only drew more attention to the site, thereby making it far more popular than his own official campaign website. While his site claims about 30,000 hits per month, its parody www.gwbush.com had over 6,000,000 hits in one month, after Bush filed his legal complaint with the FCC. In order to protect himself further, the Bush campaign bought up domain names that they feared other webmasters might use, such as www.bushsucks.com and www.bushbites.com. "There ought to be limits to freedom," Bush said, in a statement that continues to haunt him.

ALL HAIL THE LIZARD QUEEN

The January issue of Fortean Timestakes an unsympathetic look at David Icke's assertion that not only is the world run by a very small financial elite, but that this "brotherhood" is a race of reptilian beings who shape-shift into the rich and famous. Unfortunately, the writer who attacks Icke didn't bother to read his books, for as absurd as the contention sounds, after reading his pain-staking research in the 500+ page The Biggest Secret, it's difficult not to wonder if he's on to something. How else could he get away with calling George Bush a paedophile and serial killer (don't forget drug-running satanist), and not be slammed with libel suits out the yin-yang? Is it that he's right?

SAME TO YOU, PIKACHU

A Michigan man, playing with his son's Pokemon doll, which is supposed to say its name (Pikachu) when you push its button, found that pushing the button just a bit faster makes Pikachu say "fuck you". He's asking Hasbro to pull the toys off store shelves. I gotta get me one of those before they do. (National Post)

BYE BYE BIRDIE

You may have seen the millenial celebrations in Bethlehem where 2,000 doves were released at the stroke of midnight. Ever wonder where they go? Apparently, the don't know where to go and eventually starve to death. A French animal rights group tried to stop the display citing that "these doves, bought from a breeder, are inevitably condemned to die of hunger, if they don't die first from a collision as they are released". They added, "condeming to death a symbol of peace on the eve of the new milennium is hardly the best way of entering it." (Reuters)

POLICE, IN DRAG AND ON DRUGS

Hackers in Germany turned a boring old police internet page into a site promoting marijuana and pleasure toys for sadists last week. "I don't find this funny at all," was the typically unimaginative response from the police union spokesman. (Reuters)

PEEP SHOW, 25 CENTS

An auction being held today is expecting to fetch between 50 and 100 thousand dollars for a rare 1916 American quarter that shows the Statue of Liberty with her right breast exposed.

HOLY INTOLERANCE BATMAN

Followers of Hinduism in New England are outraged over a Southern Baptist Church prayer guide that claims Hindus "are lost in the hopeless darkness" and states that "demonic powers" are behind the faith's gods and goddesses. A spokesperson for the church says simply that the guide was "published to educate Baptists, not insult Hindus." (Boston Herald)

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Copyright 2000 by Andreas Ohrt (604) 803-7485
Email:aohrt@hotmail.com
Website:www.curioustimes.com