November 21, 2002
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I have nothing to say about this one, except that I pray to
God I didn't accidently order this when I went for the
cheapest dish on the menu during my trip to China.
MAKE MINE A DOUBLE ESPRESSO
If you're getting a bit bored of
the regular old enemas you've been receiving, here's a new
twist. Dr. Nicholas Gonzalez is carrying out trial studies
measuring the effects of coffee enemas on pancreatic cancers.
Indeed, you read that right. Dr. Gonzalez's healing regimen
for cancer patients includes twice daily coffee enemas, which,
he claims, stimulates nerves in the lower bowel which trigger
a neurological reflex that makes the liver work more
efficiently, and which, in turn, helps the body detoxify much
faster than with conventional treatment. Preliminary trials
have shown promise, as the treatment more than tripled the
life expentacny of pancreatic cancer patients over those
following standard treatment. Dr. Gonzalez himself isa strong
propopent of the strange "medicine," and gives himself a
coffee enema daily. "I thought they were yucky when I first
started doing them," he admits, "but I felt so much better
from the first day that I never looked back."
(Wired)
HAVE YOU SEEN THIS MONSTER?
The Official Loch Ness Monster Fan
Club is concerned about the apparent disappearance of their
favourite creature. Sightings have dropped off considerably,
with only three sightings in the past year, and none at all
since August. The fan club hopes that anyone with proof of the
Loch Ness Monster's continued existence will step forward
soon, and remind everyone that the William Hill award of
£1000 for the best Nessie sighting of the year isstill up for
grabs.
(Ananova)
THEY'LL PROBABLY JUST STEAL ALL THE DRUGS ANYWAY
Researchers
at Stanford University are having trouble finding enough
subjects for their upcoming study on kleptomaniacs. They hope
to test a new drug which they believe will help stop the
impulse to steal for the subjects of the study, but so far
even their advertisments on television and in newspapers
haven't brought forth enough real kleptomaniacs to begin
trials. "People are hesitant to come forward because what they
are doing is illegal and very stigmatized, and these are
understandable reasons," said Dr. Elias Aboujaoude, a
psychiatrist at Stanford.
(San Francisco Chronicle)
GOAT TO THE LAST DROP
Sisir Das of India has smashed a world
record by drinking the blood of 207 goats during four days of
sacrifices at the Kali Temple inWest Midnapore. The old record
stood at a very lame 40 goats. (UPI)
GROOVY
The United Kingdom could legalize medicinal marijuana
as early as 2003 following successful results from tests in
patients with multiple sclerosis. The study carried out by GW
Pharmaceuticals found that cannabis-based drugs significantly
improved symptoms of MS and reduced pain caused by nerve
damage.
(New Scientist)
FREEDOM OF THE PRESS ONLY BELONGS TO THE MAN WHO OWNS THE
PRESS
Reporters Without Borders, an international group of
journalists, has published its first ever ranking of the
freedom of the press in 139 countries. Canada ranked extremely
well, placing fifth behind Finland, Iceland, Norway and the
Netherlands. America placed 17th, in large part due to a
number of journalists arrested for refusing to reveal sources.
North Korea, China, Burma and Cuba all landed in the bottom
ten, with Iraq ranked as the very worst for press freedom.
(BBC)
AND MY FARTS STINK WORSE THAN YOURS TOO
We have a new winner
in the "Most Ridiculous Argument of All-Time" competition. For
some unexplained reason, two men in New Jersey were having a
"discussion" about their buttocks, when the topic turned to
which of the two had a hairier ass. According to the news
report, and for no apparent reason, one of the men got upset
enough to pull out a knife and slash his argumentative pal.
(AP)
GIVE YOURSELF UP BEFORE THINGS GET RUFF
A SWAT team in
Seattle spent about five hours trying unsuccessfully to
negotiate with an armed man barricaded inside a house, only to
find that the home they had surrounded and shot tear gas into,
had only a dog inside. The dog was released without any
charges.
(Seattle Times)
Go to:
Copyright 2002 by Andreas Ohrt
Email:aohrt@hotmail.com
Website:www.curioustimes.com
