November 7, 2002
JESUS FREAKS
The author of a new book titled Magic Mushrooms in Religion
and Alchemy is trying to drum up some publicity for his book by making
outrageous claims about Jesus' drug habits. Ethnobotanist Clark Heinrich
believes that Jesus was eating a magic mushroom known as "fly agaric" at
the Last Supper. Heinrich believes this psychedelic shroom is the bread
that Jesus was referring to when he said "eat this bread, this is my body,"
because the mushroom looks like pita bread and feels like human skin when
soaked in water. He also claims that eating this shroom turns your urine
into a reddish-orange hallucinogen, and that this is how Jesus turned water
into "wine," by urinating in a jug of water.
(Wireless Flash)
NOT QUITE PRINCE CHARMING
The kingdom of Swaziland is facing a bit of a
crisis with their monarchy after the mother of a young woman abducted as
the king's next wife filed a court challenge in order to get her daughter
back. The king of Swaziland has traditionally taken his pick of the young
women of that country, each year taking a new wife after a spring parade of
topless young girls passes through the palace grounds (tough life!). The
current monarch, King Mswati III, has been married nine times, and recently
his henchmen took 18-year-old Zena Mahlangu from her high school class in
order to marry the king. After the girl went missing her mother called the
police to search for her. Two days later the king's messenger informed her
that her daughter had been taken to the palace for "royal duties." She
immediately filed a court challenge, claiming that her daughter was
illegally abducted without the girl's consent. The legal challenge is
facing a tough battle with traditionalists though, as the palace won't
allow lawyers to speak with the 18-year-old girl, and have released a
statement from the girl which reads "I now take the king as my husband and
I'm going to make him the happiest man on Earth." If the king takes another
18-year-old bride, he will again break his own law which bans Swazi men
from having sexual relations with women under the age of 19. Last year, the
king broke this law and fined himself one cow.
(Times of Swaziland)
MEN ON THE MOON?
I never gave too much credence to the skeptics who
believe that we never did send anyone to the moon, but now that NASA has
decided to spend over $15,000 on a public relations campaign designed to
convince us all that they really did make a lunar landing, I'm beginning to
think they might really be hiding something. NASA has hired a former
aerospace engineer and author of 10 books about space, James Oberg, to
write a point-by-point rebuttal of many of the arguments which claim that
NASA simply staged the moon landing on a Hollywood set to prop up American
patriotism in the late-60s. After last year's airing of a Fox television
show called Conspiracy Theory: Did We Really Land on the Moon?, the number
of Americans who doubted the moon landing happened increased from 11 to 20
per cent. So now, in a big of damage control, NASA is fighting back with
their $15,000 report. A bit suspicious, ain't it?
(Knight Ridder)
DUDE, WHERE'S MY BRAIN?
One problem with smoking pot is that it sometimes
becomes a bit difficult to make judgement calls. Two dudes in Florida found
this out the hard way last week when they decided to stop at the local
convenience store in order to dry out their marijuana inside the store's
microwave. Seeing a cop car parked outside the store didn't stop them, and
after chatting politely with the officer inside the store, one of the men
went ahead and started nuking his stash, filling the store with the lovely
aroma of roasting weed. The cop then walked over the the guy and arrested
him. Duh! (WTVC News)
PARENTHOOD FOR CONTROL FREAKS
A genetics lab in Fairfax, Virginia has
developed a "sperm-sorting" machine which can pretty much guarantee that
your baby will be the gender of your choice. For about US$2,500 the lab
promises a 91 per cent success rate for selecting girls and 74 per cent for
boys. So far approximately 300 babies have been born with preselected
gender.
(The Guardian)
AND PARENTHOOD FOR THOSE WHO JUST DON'T CARE
A man in Mississauga,
Ontario, was stopped by police who spotted a child playing in the back seat
of his car. When they pulled him over they found out why the child wasn't
strapped in. Turns out the man had used the child's safety seat to secure a
case of beer. (Mississauga News)
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Copyright 2002 by Andreas Ohrt
Email:aohrt@hotmail.com
Website:www.curioustimes.com
